isla
“Don’t think I won’t kill you, Mother(BLEEP). I need to get back to the island so I can tell Isla how I feel about her. You’re gonna need a bigger army of dragons if you want to stop me.”
~Jackson Porter, Playing With Matches Reptile Isle Webcam Footage
Sittingin the cramped tent and watching the final episode being taped from behind the scenes, isn’t the same without Jackson. The sun is just starting to set, and my heart is aching.
He isn’t back.
I thought I knew how much he wanted me when he sang to me. I thought I knewwhy. When he made love to me last night, I knew exactly what I wanted and not just for one night. I allowed myself to hope that the family curse was lifted. I thought that somehow I’d have a chance, too.
I already knew. I knew I was falling in love. And the premonition blurred the lines between past, present, and future for me. It tints every memory and infuses me with a certainty I’ve never felt before. I am in love with him. It feels like I’ve always been in love with him.
I should have known not to start something when the moon was full. The pull of the tides was too strong. The tug of his teeth against my lower lip. The way he carried me to the bed and dropped me there, then just stood there over me, staring at me. Drinking me up. I’m never going to forget last night.
Is it because I was too much? Or not enough?
It always comes down to that.
“Welcome back to the pavilion,” Marco greets the three couples. The couples are all arranged on the loveseats in the same pairings that we ended the last episode on. Before the dates. It seems like that was ages ago.
“So you have all gone on your individual dates by now and spent time together here at the beautiful Peaches Resort. And what I am dying to know is, what do you think? Did the algorithm pick the right person for you? Were your dates magical? Tonight we will be learning which of our couples will leave together, and which ones will continue playing with matches. I just hope nobody gets burned!”
“Cut!” Rob yells. “Two minutes everyone. I just want to reset to make sure we’re getting that glorious sunset in the background as we go into the final Shell Ceremony.”
“Knock, knock,” Alexis says quietly, waving the tent flap. “Permission to enter?” The crew member nods, and I wave her to the empty chair next to mine.
“Please come join me,” I say.
“He’s still not back?” Alexis looks concerned.
“Nope, and nobody’s heard from him,” I shake my head, unable to dispel the tightness in my throat. “You’re good friends with him; is this normal for him?”
“No,” Alexis shakes her head. “I can’t think of any reason, unless…”
“Unless what?”
“What happened last night, Isla?” Alexa looks at me intently. “After Jackson sang to you?”
I wrap my arms around myself, close my eyes, and shake my head. I can’t. I can’t do this now. The fabric walls of the tent feel like they’re sucking into the center towards me, suffocating me. A moth flaps hopelessly against one of the monitors.
“Nothing,” I say. “I mean, we had a nice night.”
Alexis glances around the tent at the tech crew in their oversized headphones. They are all completely engrossed in what they are doing. The crew has resettled everyone, and they’re getting ready to film from another angle.
“Do you want to get out of here?” Alexis asks.
“Yes,” I say with enthusiasm. “It’s a little stuffy. I think I’d rather watch outside.”
“Let’s go then,” Alexis holds out her hand to help me up, and we walk into the night. “I’m sure he’s fine, wherever he is. Jackson’s not a risk-taker. At least not with his physical self,” she rolls her eyes. “Did he do the Bruce Springsteen song?”
“He did,” I smile at the memory.
“I’m sorry I missed that.” Alexis’s eyes are shining, and I see where she’s looking. She’s gazing at Owen and Paula. Someone is checking Owen’s mic. We settle ourselves on a bench, close enough to watch and far enough to be out of the shot.
“Okay, everyone, we’re ready to roll again. Nice job on the backdrop, Mother Nature!” Rob says. “Quiet on the set!”
Marco is back. He’s wearing a pale, untucked linen shirt with his designer jeans. He’s a little less perfectly coiffed than other times I’ve seen him. His hair is a little tousled and uneven, and he’s not wearing any make-up. He seems relaxed. Happy even. Somehow, this natural look only makes him seem more handsome. He glances at Paula quickly before launching into his monologue.
