The words settled into his chest, heavy and true. He’d been so focused on his failure that he hadn’t considered this might be a way to honor his daughter’s memory. To take the love he would have given Lira and channel it toward another child who needed it just as desperately.
“What if I fail again?” he asked softly.
“Then you fail. But at least you tried.” Tarak gripped his shoulder. “Living half a life is not living at all.”
“I want them to stay,” he heard himself say. “All three of them. I want Corinne and Mikoz and Anya. I want to build something with them. A family.”
“Then tell her that.”
“She wants to return the young female to Earth. To give her a chance at a normal life.”
“Then show her what life could be like with you instead. Give her a reason to choose you.”
“I do not know how to court a human.”
“I do not think it is that different from courting a Cire. Protect her. Provide for her. Show her she is valued.” Tarak’s mouth curved. “And judging by your reaction to her, the physical compatibility is not in question.”
Heat flooded through him at the memory of how she’d felt pressed against him. How she’d tasted. How much he wanted to explore every soft curve of her body and learn exactly how to make her come apart in his arms.
“The physical attraction is… significant,” he said carefully.
“Apparently.” Despite the grin on Tarak’s face, there was a wistful note in his voice. “It sounds as if you are responding to her as if she were your mate.”
My mate.
The words whispered through his thoughts, terrifying and exhilarating in equal measure. Could she be his mate? Could ahuman and a Cire form that kind of bond? Everything he’d been taught said no, but his body was screaming yes.
“So what are you going to do?” Tarak asked.
He looked down at his hands, remembering how right it had felt to comfort the infant, to soothe him back to sleep. How desperately he wanted to do it again.
“I am going to raise that child,” he said slowly. “Whether Corinne stays or not. He deserves a home, and I can give him that.”
“And Corinne?”
“I am going to show her what we could have together.” He met Tarak’s gaze. “And then I am going to hope she chooses to stay.”
“And if she does not?”
He winced, but he forced himself to consider it. What if Corinne took Anya back to Earth and left Mikoz with him? What if she walked away and he never saw her again? The thought made his chest ache with a pain he hadn’t felt since standing over Kessa’s funeral pyre.
“Then I will respect her choice,” he said quietly. “And I will raise Mikoz to know that his first protector loved him enough to find him the best life possible.”
“Even if it breaks you?”
“Even then.”
Tarak studied him for a long moment, then nodded with satisfaction.
“Good.” He picked up his staff again. “Now stop brooding and fight me properly. I did not come here to watch you pine.”
Despite everything, he felt a smile tug at his mouth. This was why Tarak was his second. The male knew when to push and when to simply stand beside him. He knew when he needed words and when he needed action.
They fell into combat again, faster this time, more intense. He poured his confusion and desire and desperate hope into every strike, every block, every controlled movement. His body remembered this rhythm, the dance of violence that was as close as he’d come to meditation in years.
But underneath it all, his thoughts kept circling back to the same place.
To soft hazel eyes and dark hair.
