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‘Are you so sure they don’t do the same for you?’ Alex asked, eyebrows raised. ‘Seems to me, everyone who has mentioned you to me has talked about how you’ve built this life for yourself, with Tiger Lily, and the Mill. Mostly they seem to be warning me not to screw it up for you.’
‘They said that?’ Lily shook her head. ‘But it was all based on me being with Edward. Now it’s just me again, they’re convinced I’m going to screw it up. Probably by sleeping with you.’
Alex looked away. ‘Then we’ll just have to make sure you don’t do that, won’t we?’
‘I think we can just about manage that,’ Lily tried to joke, but her mouth was dry when she spoke.
It was almost a relief to spot the bride heading their way. Beatrice’s dress was of the flouncy, frilly sort, spreading out for meters around her, making it impossible for her to sneak up on anyone.
‘Here comes the bride,’ Alex murmured, and Lily pasted on her best “so happy to be here” smile.
‘Lily!’ Beatrice flung her arms around her cousin, feeding Lily a mouthful of veil and perfume in the process. ‘Who’d have thought it, huh? Me married before you – and at only twenty-one!’
‘Such an achievement,’ Alex murmured, and when Lily glanced across at him his face was serious, but his eyes were laughing.
Beatrice smiled at him, taking his words at face value. ‘I know. My parents are so proud.’ She turned concerned eyes back to Lily. ‘How’s Auntie Evelyn taking… You know. Everything.’
‘She’s fine,’ Lily said, smile tight. ‘Enjoying having me home again, I’m sure.’ Was lying at a wedding morally wrong?
‘Of course.’ Beatrice’s tone was pitying now, which made Lily’s blood rise even more than the smugness in her smile. ‘And… how are you coping?’
Lily blinked. ‘I’m fine. I mean, I broke it off, after all.’
‘Of course you did, sweetie.’ Beatrice patted her arm. ‘And that’s what I’ll tell everyone, of course. But just between us girls…’
Heat flooded up to her skin, and Lily’s fury felt too bright to even think her words before she spoke them, let alone censor them.
‘I left him, Beatrice. Because I realized I didn’t want to get married. I don’t want to be a wife, don’t want to be someone’s property, don’t want to live my life pretending to be someone I’m not. And I’m proud of that decision. So, you know what? I’ve never been happier than the moment I threw that ring back at him.’
Beatrice stepped back, and Lily realized, too late, that she was shouting. That everyone else in the bar was looking at them. That Alex was staring at the ceiling, trying not to laugh. And that her mother was trying to kill her with the power of her stare.
Oh, God.
‘I’m sorry,’ she muttered, pushing past Beatrice and her dress, wine glass still clutched in her hand. She might not be seventeen any more, but it was definitely time to find a secret corner to avoid her family and drink. Again.
* * * *
Alex considered staying and smoothing over ruffled feathers, but only briefly. With Lily’s dash for the door, Evelyn had turned her death stare on him, and he didn’t feel like hanging around to see if she really could make his head explode.
He found Lily out on the patio where they’d had welcome drinks. Despite it being almost July, the evening air felt chilly against his skin. She wasn’t out there to enjoy the warm summer evening, that was for sure. She was hiding from everyone, again. Which he could understand, after her outburst. But still, she didn’t have to hide from him. And he didn’t want her retreating back into a shell of respectability at the expense of what she really felt and thought.
Dropping to sit on the step beside her, Alex stretched his legs out in front on him, admiring the way her long, pale legs looked in the early summer sun.
‘You know, I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m pretty sure next weekend’s wedding will be more fun than this one.’ Lily buried her head in her hands at his words, making him chuckle.
‘You can’t possibly still be planning to take me to any kind of social occasion, ever again, after this,’ she said, the words muffled through her fingers.
‘I most certainly am. Your little outburst was by far the most entertaining part of the day so far.’ She groaned again, and he nudged against her shoulder. ‘Come on. It was a little bit funny.’
‘It was mortifying. My mother’s going to kill me.’
‘Well, yeah. There is that.’ Alex sighed. ‘Guess I will need a new date for Carrie and Nate’s wedding, after all.’
That had the desired effect, at least. Lily looked up from her hands and glared at him, shoving his thigh away from her own. ‘You’ll just have to protect me from her.’
‘We’re all travelling home in the same car. And if you want me to keep my eyes on the road, you’re pretty much on your own with the self-defence, sweetheart.’
‘God, I’m doomed.’ Lily leant back on her hands, looking up into the darkening sky, and Alex found himself mimicking her position without even meaning to. ‘This is exactly what she was afraid would happen, you know. When I left Edward.’
‘That you’d speak your mind to patronizing cousins at weddings?’
He’d meant it as a joke, but Lily said, ‘Pretty much,’ and sighed.
Alex waited. She’d elaborate eventually, he knew. As the afternoon had proven, Lily wasn’t very good at staying quiet when she had something to say.
‘Mum’s afraid I’ll revert to type,’ she said eventually. ‘Edward kept me respectable. Quiet. He didn’t shout, didn’t make a fuss. And, over time, I guess I started to do the same. He made me calmer, and she liked me that way. Without his influence…’
‘Evelyn thinks you might say what you actually think and feel, rather than what someone else wants you to? Heaven forfend.’ The words came out angrier than he’d intended, but really. He wanted to head back to Felinfach and shake Edward stupid for keeping Lily quiet. Docile. No wonder she didn’t want to get married if that was what she thought marriage was.
‘I know, I know. But there are times and places to speak your mind.’ She sighed, sitting up again, her shoulders hunched. ‘This really wasn’t it.’
Alex flung a friendly arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his body. She leant her head against his shoulder, the sweetness of her sham
poo filling his lungs as he breathed her in. ‘Maybe not. But, personally, I’m glad you did.’
It didn’t make any sense, he knew that. He wanted Lily to be everything she wanted to be, everything she was and had been before life scared her. But he wanted her to find happiness, love and marriage too, just like he wanted for himself. Even though she wasn’t the sort of woman he’d ever imagined himself marrying. But somewhere out there, there had to be a man searching for a woman like Lily, didn’t there?
A good friend would help her find him. But the way his heart clenched at the very thought of Lily with her perfect match told him he wasn’t that good a friend.
Lily wanted to find out who she was without Edward, without all the expectations she’d lived with for the last seven years. But Alex couldn’t help wondering who she’d be with him.
‘We should get heading home,’ Lily said, after a long silence. ‘Face Mum’s wrath in the car. And then every day from now on, until I find somewhere else to live.’
She sounded so miserable. Alex supposed, if he had to live with Evelyn, he’d feel the same. ‘Why don’t you ask Cora if you can stay with her?’
‘I could…’ Lily shook her head. ‘She’s elbow deep in wedding plans, and Rhys probably wouldn’t want me there…’
‘Lily.’ Evelyn snapped the name from behind them, and Alex winced, seeing the expression mirrored on Lily’s face. Letting his arm fall from her shoulders as casually as he could, he turned and stood.
‘Mrs Thomas. Lily was just saying that it was probably about time to go home.’
Evelyn nodded. ‘If she’s quite finished making an utter spectacle of herself, I’ll go and make our goodbyes. I suggest I meet you both at the car.’
As Evelyn disappeared back through the French doors, Lily got to her feet. ‘Think I’ve got time to call Cora before Mum gets back?’
Alex handed her his mobile phone without a word.
* * * *
‘I hope you’ll be okay in here,’ Cora said, hovering nervously outside the spare bedroom door.
