“Have you tried to play?” Newt asked Ru.
“Not yet. I knocked myself out in the pool so I’m not allowed on a horse for a few days. But I’m bound to be a natural.” He grinned.
“Sure to be.” Newt grinned back. “When my father caught me dissecting a fox that had been run over outside our house, he said I’d end up as a pathologist and he was right. Or did he say serial killer?”
Newt never let the conversation flag, but they all talked, including Ru, when Jasim had worried Ru would feel out of his depth. He should have known better. Ru was fitting in better than him.
Even before the end of the meal, Jasim felt comfortable.I want this. I want friends who understand. I want a different life.
They sat outside in the garden after they’d eaten. Newt and Leigh had taken the single chairs which put him and Ru on the double seat. Ru had pressed himself up against the arm, as far away from him as he could get and it made Jasim sad because he knew that was his fault. After all he’d said to Ru, he could feel himself wavering. At that moment, friends seemed possible. He reached out and took hold of Ru’s hand. Ru stiffened, then relaxed, but it was a moment before he curled his fingers around Jasim’s.
Talk continued, no one said anything about what he was doing, no one stared, though Jasim was aware he couldn’t leave it like that. Before he left tonight, he had to warn Leigh and Newt. Or ask Ru to. He didn’t want to bring down the mood while they were all laughing and chatty. Ru was telling funny stories about horses and Jasim liked listening to him.
“We had a grey who was only ever grey for a minute after I’d washed her,” Ru said. “The moment I let her out, pleading with her to not roll in the mud, she went straight to the mud and rolled in it. Even if it hadn’t rained for a while, rare in Ireland, she still managed to find some shit to roll in. Then she’d turn to me, and I swear, she smiled. And that same horse, who treated mud like it was the love of her life, would not walk through a puddle for love nor money. Two inches deep and she reacted like it was a bottomless lake of death that she’d disappear into if she put a hoof in it.”
Jasim chuckled. “Did she do a graceful dance on the spot as if she was trying to distract you with her brilliance and you’d forget you wanted to go that way?”
Ru laughed. “Yep, or she threw me into the puddle. Then looked at me as if to say, wow, that lake of death didn’t kill you! She still wouldn’t walk through it. I would have worked on that but my uncle sold her. I have to admit, I wondered what she’d do when she came across a puddle with her new owner.”
“First time Leigh took me riding, I—” Newt said.
“Oh God.” Leigh put his head in his hands.
“Bridie was supposed to be slow and gentle and perfect for a beginner.” Newt’s eyes sparkled. “She bolted. Leigh freaked out and came after me. He managed to slow her down and all was fine.”
“And why did she bolt?” Leigh asked.
“I farted.” Newt grinned. “You didn’t tell me she wouldn’t like that. It wasn’t as if I did it on purpose.”
“Really?” Leigh sighed. “Knowing you, I find that very difficult to believe.”
Ru was choked with laughter beside Jasim.
“You remember that mare you had to get rid of that was always farting?” Leigh asked.
“Merry. Yes, I remember her,” Jasim said. “Whatever I asked her to do from standing still to walking on, she had one response—Make me and then she farted. Everything was a battle. It was like trying to control a rushing torrent of energy. She was trainable, but it was going to take too long. I somehow think Ru would have managed her. He has the knack.”
“Me?” Ru whispered.
“Yes, horse whisperer, the you who stood in front of a panicked horse to protect a fallen rider and managed to stop that horse with your hand.”
“It did help that I knew Cookie.”
“Would not knowing it have stopped you stepping in?” Leigh asked.
Ru shook his head. “No. I do have a knack with stubborn creatures. I can usually make them see sense.”
Newt laughed and fired a pretend arrow at Jasim.
Ru went bright red.
By the time Jasim got up to leave, nothing had been said about him being gay. He felt like a coward for not just coming out and saying it, and explaining, but Leigh was not the type to push and Jasim wasn’t up to a torrent of questions. Jasim tugged Ru out to the car and pressed him up against it. Ru slid his hands around Jasim’s waist and up onto his skin under his shirt. Jasim swallowed hard.
“I had fun tonight,” Jasim whispered.
“So did I. You held my hand in front of them. That bottomless lake of death failed to swallow you. But what were you thinking? You said we had to be a secret.”
“What I was thinking was that I’ve spent too long not taking a risk. That it took you for me to see that. But…”
