14
RU WAS UP before anyone else. He’d needed to be up early in Ireland. There was rarely an opportunity to lie in, and now it felt like his body clock was stuck, at least as far as waking up was concerned. Still, he didn’t mind, not in the summer anyway. Though in the winter when it was dark and cold and wet, he’d have liked to linger under the blankets. But he’d never been allowed to.
Still, rising early gave him time on his own with the horses, the opportunity to either empty his mind or to go over things, whichever would make him feel the most content. On his uncle’s farm, Ru had tried not to dwell on the loss of his family. He missed them, but his uncle and aunt had taken him in and looked after him, in their own not-very-loving way, and he’d accepted that. Though he dreamed of a life beyond the farm. They couldn’t make him stay forever. When he’d learned the truth, it had felt as if an explosion had been triggered inside his head. He’d felt utterly betrayed, furious with himself for not leaving sooner.
Jasim wasn’t hiding anything from him, he wasn’t stopping Ru leaving, but in some ways, the situation Ru was in felt similar. He couldn’t let himself get trapped again, stuck longing for something that would never happen unless hemadeit happen. How long before hedidn’tfeel that a snatched hour with Jasim was better than no hour at all? That flirty texts were not enough? There was a chance that Jasim would eventually feel able to be more open.But how long can I wait? And if Jasim always needs to lay low, will I be okay with that too?The truth was—he didn’t know.
He wished he had someone to talk to about it. Maybe his brother? But would Jasim be angry if he did? Ru’s head was hurting.
This wasn’t a day to think, but a day to ride. He was really looking forward to it. He grabbed his helmet and headed for Cookie and Joni. The first thing he did was separate them. He took Joni back to the main stable, left her with some food, marked her chart as having been fed, then fed Cheyenne, followed by Rodrigo’s horses, and marked their charts too. He mucked them out and went back to Cookie with a comb and a pocket full of plaiting bands.
She stood where he’d left her, head over the fence, and Ru knew she was looking for Joni. She stamped her hoof, telling him she was pissed off, as if he hadn’t already noticed the tightness of her muzzle and the way her ears were pinned.
“Hey now. She’s not gone far.” Ru climbed over the fence and Cookie nudged him. Not hard enough to knock him over, just hard enough to sayWhere is she? What have you done with her? Bring her back.Ru whispered to Cookie in Gaelic as he combed her mane, telling her she was beautiful and sweet and kind, and that Joni wasn’t far away. Most horses didn’t like their manes being braided, but Cookie loved it. Ru never left the braids in for more than a few hours because it wasn’t good for a horse’s hair, but doing it soothed him as well as Cookie.
Ru gave her a lattice plait, dividing her mane into small diamonds so it hung on one side looking a little like something his aunt had crocheted, but turning her into a ride fit for a princess.
“Gorgeous girl,” he whispered.
By the time he was done, Cookie’s mane looked amazing. She’d lost her bad temper and Ru had stopped worrying. Tia came to see what Ru was doing, and put her nose to Cookie’s.
“See, Cookie! You made a new friend.”
The two headed off together and while Ru knew he’d not instantly solved the separation issue, at least he could see that Cookie was capable of making friends. He’d intended to ride her, but while she was happy, he’d leave her be and ride Joni.
Back at the main stable, he found the others feeding the ponies and Ru tacked Joni up for a ride. As he was leading her out, Mike stepped in front of him.
“It’s a rest day. No riding.”
“But Joni hasn’t been ridden since she got here. She’s had plenty of rest.”
“You heard what I said.”
Yes, but…“I was told I could ride Joni or Cookie whenever I liked.”
“Told? I didn’t tell you that. You do what I tell you.”
“Why didn’t you say something when you saw me tacking her up?”
Mike smirked. “Do you want to pick a fight with me?” He gave a short laugh. “Who do you think’ll win?”
Ru exhaled, then turned and led Joni back to her stall. He didn’t want to argue with Mike, or do anything that got him into trouble. So he took off Joni’s tack and led her out to the field that didn’t have Cookie in it.
“Sorry, Joni. Another day, okay?” Ru fed her a Polo mint, then went back to the accommodation block and exchanged his riding helmet for his cycling one. He grabbed his empty backpack, filled his water bottle, and headed for Dorchester.
He was pretty sure that if he’d hung around, Mike would have found something for him to do, even though it was their day off. Bela joined him on the journey, landing on his backpack.
“I’m not leaving you, sweetheart. Just going to buy food and some swimming trunks.”
Bela cawed, “Nuts.”
Ru laughed. “Yeah, I’ll buy nuts.”
Bela stayed with him for a few miles, sometimes riding on his helmet, then flew off.
Ru had been trying not to think about Jasim, but that turned out to be impossible. He chained up his bike in the supermarket car park wishing Jasim was with him. They could have walked around the shops together, then sat and had a coffee and a cake in a café… Two guys could do things together without people assuming they were gay, couldn’t they? But Jasim wasn’t ever going to sit in a café with him, was he? He swallowed against the lump in his throat. No point wanting things that couldn’t happen.
He bought a pair of swimming trunks from a charity shop, and though he saw other things he’d like, a book on shells and a T-shirt, he was reluctant to spend money on non-essentials. Food was more important. Even in the supermarket, he was careful, choosing items that were reduced where he could. Before he set off, he ate a slice of dry bread and a container of Greek salad. Though not the olives. Turned out he didn’t like those.Ugh.
