“Licence plate? Identifying marks?”
Corey started to shake his head and remembered how much that had hurt “I’m sorry. No. Big vehicle. Hard sides. White. I know that’s not useful.”
“What happened next?”
“My car rolled but landed the right way up. The windscreen had gone. I got out that way. Went down the road to the other car, which was smoking. I used the emergency hammer from my car to break a window, so I could open a door and pull the driver out. He was unconscious. Then the car caught fire.
“When he came round, we talked about what to do. Neither of us had seen any other vehicles for a long while, nor any houses. We didn’t know exactly where we were, so we decided against staying put and walked towards some lights Tal had spotted. He said there was a road off on the right in the direction he’d come from. We saw a Christmas tree on a hill and…”
Corey slowed.What am I doing?He took in the way PC Morris was looking at him, the expression of disbelief.Then again, why not tell him?Some of it anyway.Corey carried on. “We reached a hotel called Solas Suas and stayed there. We were snowed in. Then there was a talent contest and after it, I didn’t feel well. I fell asleep, and when I woke, I was here. I don’t know how that happened.”
“Nor do I because you were both found huddled in your damaged vehicle by a passing motorist who called the emergency services. You’d flattened a cardboard box and managed to secure it as a cover for the missing windscreen. Then you’d wrapped yourselves in a duvet on the back seat andwaited for rescue. The sensible thing to do. But you were both hypothermic and unconscious when you were found.”
Corey’s heart lurched. “Well… That… No. That didn’t happen.”
“It did. That’s exactly what happened. You have a head injury. You broke your foot. You had hypothermia. You’re not remembering correctly.” The policeman paused. “It’s understandable.”
No, it’s fucking not!
“Did you find my note in the car?”
The policeman shook his head. “There was no note. The paramedics brought you both to this hospital. Your belongings were initially taken to the police station to keep them safe. I’ve given them to the nursing staff and they’ll be securely stored until you’re discharged. Your insurance certificate was found in the glove box. Your car is a write-off and your insurers are having it towed to a scrapyard. All you need to do is inform the DVLA. You might be due some tax back and insurance depending on the date of your policy.”
Was that supposed to cheer him up?
The policeman took out his phone. A few moments later, he held it out to Corey. “This is where the accident happened. You can see there’s no road off on the right for four miles and that road leads to a derelict farm.”
They hadn’t walked four miles before they turned off. Corey didn’t understand. “Can you google Solas Suas Hotel, please.”
The policeman tapped into his phone. “No such place. Solas Suas meanslight upin Gaelic, ah but alsolight out. Weird.”
Corey’s mouth was dry. “Now can you google Tal Whittaker, architect?”
“I don’t need to. He was driving the other car. The one that was burnt out, and he was found in your car with you.”
“The snow…” Corey muttered. “It was so deep. It wasn’t forecast.”
“No, it wasn’t. It was an unexpected fall and that night it was heavy but the roads weren’t impassable. By the following day, it had gone.”
Gone!Corey’s heart clenched so hard in his chest that he cried out. “No, no! Oh God! What? I can’t—No!”
The policeman panicked and called a nurse.
I’m okay. No, I’m not. Fuck, I’m not.
Corey was struggling to breathe. How could what happened not be real? He hadn’t been dreaming. He and Tal had…Oh God.He grew more and more distressed and panicky and, in the end, he was given something to calm him down.
As his eyes closed, he was desperate to find himself back in the hotel with Tal, and for where he was now to be a dream.
When Corey woke to find himself still in hospital, he finally accepted the policeman had been telling the truth. There was never any hotel, no fun stuff with Tal. Corey had made it all up. Or rather his sub-conscious had. At least Tal existed, so Corey wasn’t completely nuts, but the relationship, the feelings Corey had, the future he’d hoped for even though he’d known it was unlikely, it was all one-sided. Tal had never held him, never kissed him. The disappointment was almost too much for his battered heart. His hopes smashed to nothing. While they’d been freezing to death in the car, he’d hallucinated, made up a world that didn’t exist. Tal probably wasn’t even bloody gay.
Corey felt as if a heavy weight was pressing on his chest. He pleaded to be taken to visit Tal in intensive care, but was told he couldn’t go. That wasn’t acceptable. But he had to wait until he’d been to X-ray and his cast had been replaced by a boot thing before he had the chance. He waited until no one was looking, then left the ward using the walker.
Moving around was getting easier. His head hurt, but less like a lion roaring and more like a woodpecker chipping away at him. All he could think about now was talking to Tal. He crept out of the ward and followed the signs to intensive care. Occasional light-headedness meant he had to keep stopping to rest for a moment or two, but he was determined to get there. There was a niggle of concern that they might not let him see Tal, but when he said he was his boyfriend, they relented. He bit his lip so hard as he headed over to Tal’s bed, that he could taste the coppery tang of blood.
Tal looked…Fuck, he looks dead.He was so still and white. There was a bandage around his head. Corey couldn’t see what other parts of him were hurt. He sat down, took hold of Tal’s fingers and rested his chin next to their joined hands. His ribs hurt but he needed to do this.
“Hi, Tal,” he whispered. “There’s something wrong. What I thought happened, didn’t. Not unless you remember it too. I need you to wake up and remember everything I remember. Please wake up.” Corey swallowed hard. “Even if you don’t remember, try to wake up.”
