CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“Idon’t understand how one minute you can be in complete control and the next you feel as though you aren’t.”
Mackenzie had a damn good point. Dom wished he had an answer. “It’s when my baser instincts take over. Like flipping a switch. But one thing’s for sure, I won’t risk hurting you.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “So, you could just leave me again? Is that what you’re saying?”
“I may have to physically leave, but I won’t desert you. That was wrong of me.”
Hurt simmered in her expression. She stood up to carry their plates to the sink, but he grabbed her wrist and pushed a little of his energies to her. Her lashes fluttered for a moment. “As long as you’ll have me, you’ll never be alone. We may not be standing side-by-side, but you’ll always be here.” He placed her open palm on his chest and watched her face soften. “And I pray you’ll forever let me be here,” he said as he pressed her small hand over her own heart and covered it with his.
He closed his eyes, concentrating on the gentle hum of her prana, and the beat of her heart in rhythm with his.
As long as she’ll have me.
He hoped it’d be forever. Seconds, minutes, maybe hours ticked by as he held his hand over hers. Her warm energies swirled inside him, and he pushed to her an equal amount of his. He felt as if he could soar off the highest peak and float to the heavens with her and wondered if she felt the same.
Her voice was soft when she finally spoke and looked down into his face. With her dewy eyes heavy with emotion, her full, slightly swollen lips, she was more beautiful to him than she had ever been before. “As far-fetched as all this is, this whole bizarre world of yours, it’s the missing piece of my life. It explains everything. So last night, as crazy as it may seem, I had a glimpse that maybe I did have a future.” He shivered when she ran a light fingertip along his temple, and he pulled her onto his lap.
“Knowing why my family has experienced all these tragedies is very empowering. I couldn’t fight an unknown enemy, so I gave up and refused to think of my future no matter how much I wanted someone to...to love and love me back.” Her voice wavered. “But I can fight a known enemy and for the first time in my life, I feel there might be a future for me. One with you in it. That’s why, when you left, it hurt so much.”
He buried his face in her soft hair, letting it pool around him, and prayed Chuck had found some answers. And if he hadn’t, well, Dom would figure something out, because he couldn’t imagine life without her.
“I’m sorry. The thought of...of tasting you again that way is overwhelming. God knows I’ve wanted to.” He inhaled the natural fragrance in the fragile hollow of her neck. Oh, to taste her sweetness again. Maybe he?—
No, he couldn’t.
Instead, he flicked his tongue against her skin, and she melted in closer. It was clear to him she wanted him to do it almost as badly as he did. “I don’t know that I could ever try itwithout the fear I’d kill you. Wearing this cilice helps, but it’s certainly no guarantee.”
She pushed back and looked at him. “What are you talking about? What’s a cilice?”
He lifted his wrist, indicating the leather band. “It’s a constant reminder to keep myself in check around you.” She looked confused. He’d have to show her. Would she freak out when she saw it? It was bound to look messed up.
Resting his elbow on the table, he carefully unbuckled the clasp and eased the strap away from his wrist. One by one, like the teeth of a zipper, a few of the steel studs released their hold. She gasped when a tiny trickle of blood dripped from a puncture hole in the tender skin of his inner wrist.
“What the hell are you doing to yourself?” Before he knew it, she’d touched a finger to his blood and put it to her lips. Instantly, the vibration in his head got stronger.
“Oh my— That is— Wow.” She shook her head as if to clear her thoughts. When she opened her eyes, the golden highlights in her green irises seemed to have deepened in color. “My God, Dom. I thought it was just a leather band you wore. But it’s cutting you. Why?”
“It’s nothing. Really. The small amount of constant pain deflects my focus if things should get out of hand with you. I seem to do better at controlling my urges when I have it on. When I don’t—well, that’s what happened last night. Last night I was out of control.”
“You’ve got to take it off. I don’t want you to hurt yourself to be with me. I had no idea. It looks so painful.” Her fingertips were like the brush of a feather against the torn skin and she kissed his palm. With her lips just inches from his blood, he pulled his hand away, but he couldn’t help wondering what it’d be like if she had more.
“Trust me, it’s fine.” It hurt like a mother, but hell if he’d admit it.
“I hate that I’m so hard for you and your people to be around. Please, Dom. Take it off.” Her fingers raked at her hair, taking several tries to get it behind her ear. She was shaken at the sight of his mangled skin.
“It takes the edge off. I’m like a vicious dog with a barbed collar—manageable until the thing comes off. I’ll remove it...for now.” As he pulled the strap away from his skin, he sucked in a hiss of air through his teeth. Blood had dried around each spike and now acted like glue. Plastering on a fake smile, he ripped it off in one single movement.
Her face screwed up in knots, and she jumped as she sensed his pain. Great. Now she was going to be acutely aware of the thing when he put it on again. He tossed it onto the table and, gripping her shoulders, he turned her away so she couldn’t see it. But he couldn’t sway her that easily.
“You’re hurting,” she said. “And don’t give me that look. All this prana and mind-reading business isn’t one-sided, you know. I can feel how it hurts you almost as if I had it on myself. Let me get some salve and bandage it up. Shirl’s got to have a first-aid kit around her somewhere.”
“Not necessary. I heal fast. It’s feeling better already.”
She gave him a lopsided scowl and climbed off his lap. Nope, she wasn’t buying it. He heard her rummaging through the bathroom drawers, and a few minutes later she returned with a tube of ointment and a box of bandages.
“You may heal faster than I would, but I still know a nasty wound when I see one. You’re not putting that damn thing on again. Gimme your hand.”
