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He was trying his best to ask the question without being quite so blunt.
She attempted a smile. ‘A back-up plan. I guess it is the sensible option. The grown-up option. I guess I need to look at other things too.’ She rolled her eyes and pointed at the ice rink. ‘So, Leo, what’s your back-up plan for this?’
Now he rolled his eyes too. ‘I might need to fake an injury.’
She shook her head and laughed. ‘Oh, no. Come on,’ she said, obviously taking pity on him and sliding her hand into his. ‘You just keep your feet still and I’ll pull you round.’
He could tell she wanted to change the subject and move onto something else and that was fine. He’d asked the question and it was clear it was something she’d need to consider. Right now, he had more immediate problems. He couldn’t help but look down at the glistening ice, trying to focus on keeping his balance as she tugged him along. The first time he looked up, he started to wobble and Anissa skated around behind him and put her hands at his waist. ‘Here, this might be easier. I’ll help you keep your balance, and you try and move your feet.’
He tried a few steps, still wobbling furiously. But her hands were steady, and after a few minutes he started to get a little more confident.
Leo almost laughed out loud as a kid stumbled past with his mother holding onto his waist the same way Anissa was. It made him straighten up a little. He could see other people around him struggling too. He bent his knees a bit more and tried to push himself along a little better, trying to glide. His arms were held out on either side as he fought to keep his balance. Anissa leaned around from behind him, her blonde hair coming loose from her hat. ‘That’s better. You’re getting it. Keep going.’
And he was. Little by little he made his way through the rest of the jostling skaters. After a few circuits of the busy ice rink, Anissa released her grip on his waist and appeared back at his side, slipping her hand into his. They looked like any other couple at the rink, laughing and joking on their way around.
He’d never done this before. Never. In fact, there were a number of firsts he’d had in the last few days—all with Anissa. The truth was he’d come back to sort out work issues and he should have been concentrating on convincing Joe to go through with the deal. But Joe was being stubborn, just as Leo had known he would be. He’d agreed to dinner, but not until tomorrow night. Under any other set of circumstances Leo would have been anxious. He’d have been planning ways to either charm Joe or convince him with facts and figures. Whichever strategy worked best. But he hadn’t done any of that. He’d been too busy entertaining Anissa.
By the time she tugged him towards the exit of the rink, both of them were breathing a little faster. ‘That was fun,’ she said.
He let out a wry laugh. ‘Yeah, fun.’ Then he stopped for a second. ‘Actually, it was...better than I thought it would be.’
She leaned on the barrier. There was a distinct gleam in her eye. ‘You thought you’d be better, didn’t you? You thought you’d just go on out there and ace it.’
She was spot on. He ducked down to unfasten his skates so she wouldn’t notice the flush of colour in his face.
But Anissa was just as quick. She knelt down next to him. ‘Yes, Leo Baxter. Mr Wonderful at Everything.’
She was joking—of course she was—but the words made his stomach twist.
For a split second their gazes connected and the words just spilled from his lips. ‘If only that were true.’ He couldn’t hide his bitterness.
Her eyes widened and her hand reached over and gripped his jacket. ‘Leo?’
He pulled away, embarrassed that he’d let her see his old resentment bubbling over. She fumbled to pull off her skates and quickly changed into her boots. He could see her hesitation as she reached towards him again. It was busy at the changing station. Lots of people were queuing to hire skates. But when her warm hand came into contact with his face he couldn’t deny the buzz.
It didn’t matter that it was busy. It didn’t matter that the level of noise around them was distracting. All he was conscious of was her touch on his face.
She stepped right up to him, her body in full contact with his. It was almost as if a bubble formed around them. A quiet descended, letting the world outside dissipate. Now he couldn’t hear the people chattering, now he wasn’t conscious of the flashes of colour as people pushed past. All he could see was the pale blue eyes looking up at him.
Her hand was still on his cheek. ‘Tell me, Leo. Tell me what’s wrong.’
His first reaction would always be to brush things off. To walk away. To change the conversation to something else entirely.
But, somehow, with Anissa, he didn’t feel as if he could do that.
His chest grew tight. The weight of his mother and father’s deaths. The strained relationship with his new siblings. The pressure of the will.
How could he explain any of that in a few words? He didn’t even know where to start. Leo had never had a confidante. Never really disclosed any of his past to friends or colleagues.
He was the original child who kept things close to his chest, and he’d carried that trait into adulthood. No one could protect him or look after him as well as he could look after himself. He’d just believed that for so long.
It had affected everything. Every relationship he’d formed. Whether that had been work or personal. He’d never dated for more than six months. After that, women had expectations about what they thought should happen next. That didn’t work for Leo. He hadn’t wanted to play the doting husband or father.
He’d never seen that relationship. He’d never had that example.
And now? He never would.
The pain struck him like a crushing blow to the chest. He bent over, trying to suck some air into his chest.
‘Leo? Leo? What’s wrong? Are you sick?’
Anissa’s arm was around him instantly, her head down next to his.
In his mind right now all he could see was the funeral. Of course, he had gone. It hadn’t mattered that he’d never met his brother or sister.
Because Salvo and Nicole had been so well known for their business the chapel had been packed. No one had noticed one more Italian-looking man slipping in wearing a black suit. When the family had entered Noemi had been openly weeping, Sebastian’s face like a mask.
The two caskets had been side by side at the front of the chapel, a simple white wreath on top of each one.
The congregation had sung a song that his mother had apparently loved—something Leo had never learned. The priest had spoken at length about their lives and love for each other. And their family. Sebastian and Noemi. It had been like a knife twisting in his gut. Leo, the unknown and forgotten child.
He wasn’t quite sure what he’d expected to get from the funeral. Essentially he’d been saying goodbye to the parents he’d never got to meet. There had only been a few telephone calls. And for the shortest time he’d felt hope...hope that the one thing he’d always longed for might finally be within his reach—only to have it snatched away from his grasp so cruelly.
It played on his mind, along with the permanent feeling of never being good enough—the one his adoptive parents had continually perpetuated. Even now, Sebastian had resurrected those feelings by his reaction to the will’s decree. His face and demeanour at the idea of Leo being involved in the family business had said it all.
It still made him angry. Sebastian had no idea how hard Leo had worked, or just how successful he was. Penthouses in New York and private jets didn’t come cheap. Or maybe he did know—and just didn’t care.
It turned around in Leo’s head. How would he feel if someone came right now and told him he had to share the controlling interests in his business with other people? He’d be angry. He’d be furious. Just like Sebastian clearly was.
Leo’s brain was in overdrive. He’d been trying so hard
not to overthink everything. He’d been trying so hard just to let himself be distracted for a few days.
Anissa.
It was as if that quiet bubble around him vanished. Anissa’s orange scent drifted around him, and the noise from the ice rink and bright lights seemed exaggerated.
Wonderful—that’s what she’d said. Leo Baxter wasn’t wonderful. Even though he’d tried to be at various points in his life. He wasn’t wonderful at being a son, a brother, or at any kind of relationship. Wonderful was the last thing he felt. Especially while all this was going on.
Her hand was at his side. He could see the worried expression on her face and the concern in her eyes. But all of a sudden he didn’t want to know.
He needed some space.
He stepped out of her reach. ‘I need to go. Is there somewhere else you wanted to see? You mentioned you had a friend to catch up with.’
‘Leo?’ She blinked then added quickly, ‘Of course. Jules. I can give her a call and see if she’s available.’
He knew he sounded detached. ‘Good. I have business to deal with.’ He grabbed his wallet from his jacket pocket and pulled out a couple of cards. ‘Here. Use this for the cab—or for coffee, or drinks—whatever you need.’ It was almost as if something flicked on in his head. ‘Or if you have time go shopping with Jules, get a dress for the ball.’
He turned and walked away before she had a chance to say anything.
Before she had a chance stop him.
And he walked. Pushed his way through the Christmas crowds and as far away from the merriment that he possibly could.
* * *
