“I’m sorry! I babble when I’m nervous. Obviously…I’m nervous.” He laughed uneasily and dragged his hand through his hair.
“Four-thirty then. I’ll meet you outside.”
“Yes! Okay, that sounds good.”
I skimmed my eyes all over him and let him see it. I wanted him to know that I was highly interested. “See you soon.”
I reluctantly peeled myself away from him. We didn’t stop trading glances as I put my salad together. He grinned shyly every time our eyes met, and I was surprised by how much I was looking forward to having dinner with him.
It had been a long time since I’d been on an actual date. Three years to be exact. The last time I’d seen a man beyond the bedroom—or bathhouse—had ended abruptly when he had moved back to Arizona to take care of his ailing mother. Before him there was Sean, my best friend and I wondered if we would still be together had I not needed public sex. We might have gotten married, bought a house, adopted a few fur-babies. No sense dwelling on maybes, however.
I figured things hadn’t changed much in the dating world. The mating dance was still the same. Some drinks and dinner followed by conversation to see if we were compatible and if I were lucky, sexy times. It was a simple formula. The hard part was incorporating my brand of sex into a meaningful relationship, something I wasn’t particularly good at. I could flirt, and seduce, and I liked to think I was a damned goodcuddler. But for some, like me, certain proclivities wereneeds, not wants.
I enjoyed my salad in the corner and diddled on my laptop, reading the latest post on a medical blog. Jake was busy working, handing out samples and being cute while doing it. He was a good-looking guy. Truth be told, I had been a bit shocked he’d agreed to go out with me but that was my insecurity talking. I wanted a partner, one I could grow old and enjoy life with so there was the concern that we might not want the same things. For now, I was going to see where our dinner date took us.
As my lunch hour came to a close, I discarded my garbage and packed up my laptop. I’d wanted to reaffirm our appointment, but Jake was nowhere to be seen. I took my time walking back to the clinic, mulling over where to take my date. There was a nice Vietnamese restaurant within walking distance of Marco’s Fresh Market. Being younger, he might prefer something more hip, however. Either way, I wanted to show him a nice time and make a good impression.
My father was standing at the receptionist’s desk, talking to Linda about a client’s appointment when I arrived. As soon as he noticed me, he inquired, “Have you talked to Beverly today?”
“Not since yesterday. She didn’t call you back?” I asked, the agitation in my voice obvious.
My sister was a child in an adult’s body. She was selfish and arrogant and ignorant of anyone but herself. The mention of her name renewed my aggravation.
Dad snorted like a horse through his bushy white mustache and came around the desk. “No. Shepromisedshe would. Our last appointment for the day was rescheduled so we will be out of here early. We’re going to track her down. This is ridiculous. Shepromised.”
I fidgeted and chose my next words carefully. “I think we both know where she is.”
Dad didn’t like that one bit, his creased face deepening. He shook his head and blew out a breath. “I don’t understand it. How can you two be so different, so opposite? You were supposed to be the troublesome one.”
“What? Innocent me? Whatever did I do to deserve that reputation?”
A moment of light entered my father’s brown eyes. “You gave your mother hell in her belly. Always kicking and making things difficult then deciding you wanted to come so early that we thought there might be a problem. Bev and your brother came when they were supposed to and were quiet babies.”
I shrugged. “I guess I had something to scream about.”
“In any case, we should stop by and make sure she’s okay.”
The thing with Dad was that he never gave up on his family. No matter how many times Bev promised she would stop drinking, doing drugs, and going back to her abusive ex; no matter how many times Mom told him to let her go, he never did. It was his biggest flaw, but it was a damned good one to have.
I scratched the back of my head, not wanting to miss my date just to track down Bev high on the floor of her on-again-off-again asshole’s basement. “I kind of made plans.”
“I’m sorry, but it won’t take long. You know how that son of a bitch is. Every time she crawls out of the hole he dug for her, he pulls her back in.”
Regret pierced me for a moment, and I wondered if the hard words I’d had with her yesterday might have contributed to her spiral. That feeling quickly abated as I reminded myself I was not responsible for an addict’s decisions. I was sure nothing would get her out of that black pit. Not her loving parents and brothers nor the daughter she’d abandoned. Amelia had turned six recently and had been raised by the family, her motherskipping her responsibilities whenever she could. Blowing out a breath of frustration, I turned on my feet and headed toward the exit.For Amelia.I’d cancel my date for my niece.
“Where are you going?” Dad prompted.
“To cancel my date.” And because I was an idiot, I didn’t get a phone number. Luckily, the walk was relatively short.
“Wait. Hold it, young man,” Dad said in that deep, no-nonsense tone. “What date?”
“Young man? That’s a good one,” I teased. “It’s fine. It was a spur of the moment thing, and I can reschedule.”
Dad grabbed me by the crook of my arm and dragged me to a quiet corner. “You’re serious? The dinner and a movie kind of date?”
“Are there other kinds?” I inquired, feeling oddly amused.
I had a great relationship with my father. We were alike in a lot of ways, our sense of humor running on the same wavelength. It was no wonder Dad was the first I’d come out to in a time when being gay was rarely accepted.
