“What about you?” I ask, shifting the conversation away from me and thoughts from the drunken one-night stand I can’t stop thinking about. “Construction on the bakery starts soon, right?”
Grace nods as Ellie Mae pads over to us. “Yeah, next week.”
We both stand. Grace takes the stick, bringing it inside, while I grab the wipes and clean up Ellie Mae and the table.
“You excited?”
My sister owns a bakery on Main Street, and recently, she purchased the space next to it, with plans to knock out the wall separating the two, and expand. It’s something she’s wanted to do for a while, but the building only became vacant as of a few months ago. Something me and my sisters have in common is how driven we are when it comes to our careers, and how we all managed to make a living out of what we are the most passionate about. Grace has her bakery, Georgia owns a bookstore, Gemma is a highly successful romance author, and I’m a chef. Granted, I work in the kitchen at the Serendipity Inn, which isn’t my dream job, but I’ve gained a lot of professional experience and knowledge in the almost ten years I’ve been there that’ll ultimately help me reach my big goal of opening my own restaurant one day.
“Yes, oh my gosh!” She has a huge smile on her face as we stand around the counter in my kitchen. “I cannot wait for it to be over and to be able to paint and decorate. It sucks that I'll have to close the bakery for a few days, but it’ll be worth it.”
“Yeah, it will. I’m happy for you,” I say genuinely.
“Thanks, me too.” Grace picks up Ellie Mae, who’s rubbing her eyes and yawning.Guess the sugar didn’t hype her up after all.“Wanna watch a movie with me while she naps?”
“Sure.”
“I can go lay her down while you pick out a movie,” she offers. “Nothing scary.”
“A bloody, violent slasher? Got it.” I laugh as Grace scowls at me over her shoulder.
“You better not! And pop some popcorn while you’re at it.”
“Anything else, Your Majesty?”
She’s already down the hall when she calls out, “Yeah, some chocolate!”
Chuckling to myself, I throw a bag of popcorn in the microwave and turn it on before heading to the living room to find a movie we’ll both like. I settle for a romantic comedy, mostly because I know Grace will enjoy it. Lovey-dovey movies aren’t really my style, but I do love comedies, so this is a nice compromise, I suppose. While I’m waiting for Grace to get back, my mind drifts to her invitation for tomorrow. Specifically, the part where Charley’s going to be there. That makes me more excited than it should, especially given the fact that she’ll most likely try to avoid me, like she has thus far, but Grace’s house is only so big. She won’t be able to avoid me for long over there. Over the last six weeks, I haven’t pressed the issue whatsoever because the only place we’ve run into each other is work, and that’s not the place to discuss any of this, but my sister’s house is fair game.
I don’t even know what I want to say to her about it, but having her at least acknowledge it happened would be nice. Charley’s the only person I’ve been with, other than Megan, so I don’t know if that’s why I’m so interested in talking to her about it. Or maybe it’s simply because she’sCharley…
The girl I shared my first kiss with.
The girl I shared a lot of firsts with, actually.
The one who's always been in the back of my mind.
And the girl I don’t think I ever truly got over.
5
Charley, 8 Weeks Along
It’s nearly nine o’clock and I’ve been sitting at my dining room table with my textbook, laptop, and a pad of paper laid out in front of me for over two hours now. I’m supposed to be studying for a big exam that’s coming up next week, but I haven’t done a single thing because I’m so freaking distracted. Both with the memories this table brings up, but also the bomb that was dropped on me three days ago. I’ve been spiraling ever since. I spent most of yesterday with my head in the toilet, which was super fun. I don’t know if it’s from morning sickness—yay me!—or from the stress this news has brought me. Either way, I’m a freaking wreck.
I haven’t told a single person about this, which isn’t helping matters any, but who am I going to tell? My parents? Sure, I can imagine how that’ll go.“Hey Mom and Dad, got some news! Your daughter got knocked up by a guy she had careless, drunk, unprotected sex with. Aren’t you proud of me?”Or better yet, my best friends, who are actually the ones I would normally go to about stuff like this, but Graham is theirbrother. That feelslike a way more awkward conversation than the one with my parents.“Ha-ha, guess what? Fucked your brother! Please don’t hate me, but I’m now pregnant with his child!”
No, thank you.
Obviously, they’re all going to find out eventually if I decide to keep the baby, but that’s the thing… I have no clue what I’m going to do yet. Up until now, I’ve lived my life very content with the fact that I didn’t have kids. I was never the little girl who dreamt of being a mom, never picked out baby names when I was a teenager, or imagined what it would be like. That’s not to say I hate kids or anything; I just never felt an overwhelming urge to have them.
Do I want kids?
Would I even make a good mom?
These are the two questions, among many, that have replayed in my head, over and over, since leaving the doctor’s office the other day.
And the answer to both is, I don’t know.
