Graham breathes out a small laugh. “I’m kind of thinking a boy,” he says. “But that changes by the day.”
“Maybe they’ll have your dark green eyes, and blonde hair like Ellie Mae.” I chuckle. “Remember how blond you were as a kid? You and Grace both, especially during the summer.”
“Yeah, it’s so funny how hair color can change so drastically over the years.”
“Do you think that’ll happen to Ellie Mae, or do you think she’ll stay blonde?”
He shrugs. “Her mom was a natural blonde, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she stayed that way.”
“Her blonde, bouncy curls are so adorable,” I murmur.
“Yeah, they are.” Graham’s love for his daughter is written all over his face, and it squeezes at my chest. “I kind of hope this baby takes after you, though,” he admits.
“You do?” My heart jumps to my throat, making it hard to focus.
“I absolutely want a little black-haired, blue-eyed mini version of you running around, are you kidding?” Graham then brushes a strand of hair out of my face. I inhale sharply, feeling like all the oxygen in the room has been sucked out. “Your features are stunning, Charley.You’restunning.”
I don’t know what to say, so I say nothing at all. The air around us is thick, and I can’t be the only one feeling this sparkbetween us. And as his gaze drops to my mouth, IknowI’m not. Time stands still, only the voracious sound of my pulse in my ears as I lean in and drop my forehead against his. Our mouths are a hair's breadth away, my lips already tingling in anticipation, but before we can go any further, a sound comes from the door, pulling our attention. It sounds like the knob shaking, and then when I hear a muffled, “Daddy,” I can’t help but chuckle as I roll away from him and climb off the bed.
“Would you look at that? I was right,” I drawl, throwing a smirk over my shoulder, as I pad over to the door and let Ellie Mae in. She’s been trying hard for a couple of weeks to climb out of her crib. Graham was convinced it wouldn’t happen for at least another year, but girlie was determined, so I guessed it would happen right before or right after her second birthday, which is quickly approaching. “Looks like you finally mastered it, didn’t you, sweet girl?”
Ellie Mae giggles before her short legs carry her over to the bed, arms outstretched for her daddy. Graham pulls her up, and she nuzzles her face against his chest before rolling over to look at me. “Come here,” she says to me, but it sounds more like “mere,” and I love it. Walking over, I sit on the edge of the bed, smiling down at her before glancing up at Graham. He’s already watching me, and it makes my heart skip a beat.
We almost kissed.My chest feels tight, and I don’t know if I’m more bummed that we didn’t or mad at myself for even trying. Suddenly, it feels awkward being in here, on Graham’s bed, so I stand and run my fingers through my hair before huffing a dry laugh. “Probably for the best,” I murmur, and I don’t miss the slight pinch to his brows. Hiking a thumb over my shoulder, I say, “Think I’m gonna go let the chickens out.”
Graham clears his throat and seemingly shakes off whatever thoughts were in his head. “Yeah, okay. I’ll be up in a minute, and I can start cooking breakfast.”
I nod, then direct my focus to Ellie Mae. “What do you say? Wanna help me let out the chickies?”
“Yeah!”
“Alright, climb up, girlie,” I say, spinning around and kneeling to allow her to jump on my back. As soon as she does, I thread my arms around her legs as she does the same around my neck. Biggie Smalls meanders out of Ellie Mae’s room as we walk down the hall, clearly having just woken up. I’ve never seen a dog who sleeps harder than him. “Morning, ya big, lazy goober.”
Once we’re outside, I let her down as she runs over to the humongous chicken coop Graham built, Biggie Smalls trotting behind her. She knows how to let them out all by herself, and she loves doing it every morning. I sit on the steps, watching the chickens file out. The dog bounces on his front paws, practically vibrating with excitement. I think this is his favorite part of the morning too. Ellie Mae runs around the yard, chasing the chickens while Biggie chases her. The sweet, bubbly sound of her laughter has a smile spreading on my face.
Since moving in here, I can’t deny how attached I’ve become to her. Playing with her every day, reading to her, watching the innocent way she explores the world.I love her.I’ve always adored her, even before moving in here, but this feels different. It’s like heart squeezing, chest warming, and in the same way I’m protective over this baby, I know I would do anything, in a heartbeat, to keep Ellie Mae safe. To make her laugh and smile.
Inside the house, I hear Graham moving around in the kitchen. The faucet turns on as he most likely washes his hands. Then music filters through the screen door, and my throat tightens when I hear the song. Gavin DeGraw,More Than Anyone.
Goddamnit.
I can’t believe I almost kissed Graham.
What was I thinking?
And it’s not the first time I’ve wanted to kiss him since moving in.
Letting our relationship go anywhere other than platonic would be foolish. I can’t go there with him. I just…can’t. It would make things confusing and messy.
I need to do better.
I need to be stronger.
Period.
17
Charley, Then
