“Why not?”
“Grace, do we really have to talk about this? We’re supposed to be watching a movie.”
“Oh please, you don’t give a shit about this movie,” she mutters. “Now spill.”
“Because, Grace, Charley made it clear that she didn’t want to go there. She hasalwaysmade that perfectly clear.”
My sister stares at me for a moment. “Okay, but you do realize Charley has a hard time voicing her feelings, right?” she asks, but gives me no time to respond before she continues. “Her home and parents weren’t like ours. She grew up watching her parents fight about everything, and then ignore each other after. She was shown that communicating how you felt either led to an argument or the silent treatment. Charley didn’t even know what healthy communication looked like until she started coming over to our house more.”
“I know that about her parents,” I say, and not just from having spent time with them recently. I knew it back then too. It was why she spent so much time at our house, or in the sunflower fields. She hated being home. “I guess I just never thought about how that would affect her now, as an adult.”
“If you have feelings for Charley, you have to tell her, because she won’t be the first one to come out and admit her feelings,” Grace says matter-of-factly. “Communication has never come easy to her, and while she’s gotten so much better the older she gets, it’s still something she has to try to do intentionally, because her natural reaction is to bottle everything up. And honestly, what’s stopping you from telling her? Is it Megan? I know it’s only been a year, so it would make sense if you’re not ready to move on yet.”
I shake my head. “It’s not that.”
“Then what?”
Blowing out a breath, I run my fingers through my hair. “So much is at stake right now,” I explain. “There’s Ellie Mae, and the fact that I don’t want her to grow up seeing women come and go. That’s confusing for a kid. Then there’s the baby. I don’t want something to happen between Charley and me that affects how we co-parent together. No matter how I feel about her, no matter how she feels about me, I want us to always be able to put that aside and do what’s best for the kids together.”
Grace’s gaze softens. “Those are all very valid concerns, but Graham, something already has happened between you two. You owe it not only to yourself, but to Charley, and Ellie Mae, and the baby to at least make how you feel known. Because yeah, somethingcouldhappen that makes being around each other hard, but it could also turn out to be one of the best things you ever did. And for what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re alone in how you’re feeling.”
Heart leaping into my throat, I swallow thickly. “Did she tell you that?”
Breathing out a small chuckle, she shakes her head. “No, not in so many words, but even if she did, I wouldn’t tell you. Girl code.”
I click my tongue to my teeth. “Oh, because that’s not hypocritical at all after you forced me to tell you about what happened between us.”
“That’s different.” Grace waves me off. “You’re my brother and she’s my friend. I deserve to know these things.”
“Okay, well, can we get off this topic?” I ask. “I think that’s enough sharing for one day.”
Grace makes a face, like she’s trying to hold back a laugh, but then she nods. “Yeah, okay. We need to drink more wine anyway.”
I know Grace is right; I need to tell Charley how I feel. I can’t let it fester and leave what we did up in the air. But I also don’t want to spook her or make her uncomfortable. If I admit that I want so much more than platonically raising a baby together and she doesn’t feel the same, I don’t want her to then feel like she has to move out. But maybe that’s a risk I have to take.
Charley won’t be back from her trip until Sunday, so I guess I have two days to come up with what I want to say.
No pressure.
22
Graham
Headlights shine through the window in the dining room as I’m wiping down the counter, and my stomach twists. It’s Charley getting dropped off by my sister. Their plane landed a little while ago. All day today, I’ve felt good about this conversation I want to have with her, but now I’m second guessing myself. I toss the paper towel in the trash can before slipping on a pair of shoes and heading outside to see if she needs help.
She and Georgia are climbing out as I bound down the steps, Biggie Smalls right behind me. Both sets of eyes flick my way. “Hey.” I lift my arm in a quick wave. “Need a hand?”
“No, it’s okay,” Charley murmurs at the same time my sister says, “Yes, of course, she would like help.” Charley turns and scowls at her friend, and I can’t help but chuckle.
With the trunk open, I grab the yellow suitcase, scanning the other items shoved in here. “Which one of these bags belongs to you, Charley?” I ask.
“The black one.”
“Uh, there’s more than one black one.”
Georgia rounds the back of the car and points to one of them. “That one,” she says. “These are mine.”
“I don’t mind carrying my own bag, Graham.” Charley comes to a stop beside me, and I catch a whiff of her intoxicating scent.
