We all get back to eating, with nothing more said about what Graham’s been doing or what Ellie Mae said. Not because I don’t want to talk about it, but because I’m so overwhelmed with emotion, I don’t think I could say anything even if I tried.
Ellie Mae called me mama.
How is it possible that she and her dad have both managed to make my heart explode all at the same time? There’s also a small part of me that’s worried about what Graham thinks about what she said. It’s not a secret that Ellie Mae and I have gotten closer over the past several months, and I help Graham out a lot when it comes to her, but we’ve never explicitly talked about it.
Is it weird for him?
Does it bring up old feelings for her actual mom, or bring up the hurt from her death?
Or does it make him feel the way I do?
He didn’t look bothered, but I can’t really know until I talk to him.
She called me mama… And it feels really, really good.
Comingout of the bathroom after my shower, I toss the towel into the hamper in the laundry room before padding out to the living room in search of Graham. He was on the phone with his dad, trying to talk him through how to find something on his computer when I left. When I don’t spot him on the couch, I turn into the kitchen, a smile spreading on my face when I see what he’s doing.
“It’s like you can read my mind,” I drawl, taking a seat at the table. Lately, the bar stools have been a no-go for me. They’re not comfortable anymore, since they have no back for me to relax into.
“Maybe I can.” He smirks as he walks over and sets one of the sundaes he made in front of me before dropping into the seat next to mine. After he tops both of them off with whipped cream, he sets the can on the table before giving me a quick once-over. “I fucking love when you wear my clothes, Sunny,” he groans. “They look way sexier on you.”
Chuckling, I say, “They’re comfortable.”
The larger I get, the less cozy I feel in my pajamas that mostly consist of tight shorts and tiny crop tops. While they’re fine sometimes, I’ve noticed I much prefer something baggier and less constricting. Not only that, but Graham’s shirts smell like him, obviously, and I can’t get enough of his scent.
We eat our ice cream in silence for a while, but my mind is still racing from earlier at the restaurant. “Sooo…” I start, causing Graham to immediately breathe out a laugh.
“Ready to talk about it?” he asks, a light airiness to his tone that makes my insides warm and fuzzy.
“Graham, she called me mama.” I barely get the words out before my vision blurs.
“She sure did,” he drawls, watching me with soft eyes and a smile that would make me weak in the knees if I wasn’t already sitting. “How does that make you feel?”
“I didn’t know she saw me like that,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. “Is it weird for you?”
“Me?” His brows cinch. “Why would it be weird for me?”
“Because she’s your daughter and already has a mom.”
Graham clears his throat, then slips his warm, calloused hand into mine. “My mom is such an important part of my life; she always has been. Her love and support growing up made me the man I am today, and I couldn’t imagine growing up without her. Then when my parents split up and my dad met my stepmom, I felt that love and support all over again, just…differently. Sure, she’ll never replace my mom or the bond we share, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t love her, and it didn’t mean she couldn’t be my mom too.”
His voice cracks, and he pauses for a moment before continuing. “Ellie Mae was so young when her mom died. Hell, she’s still so young, but deep in her heart, I’m sure she will always feel connected to Megan, and as she gets older, she’ll probably ask about her more, but that doesn’t mean she can’t love you too. It doesn’t mean you’re any less her family. Because that’s what you’ve become, Sunny…to both of us. So, no, it’s not weird to me. But I would understand if it’s weird for you. I know we’ve never talked about this?—”
“It’s not,” I cut him off. “It’s not weird at all. It’s not something I really gave much thought to, to be honest, but hearing that… I don’t know, it felt really good. I love her, Graham, and—” My breath shakes as I inhale deeply.And I loveyou too.I’m not ready to admit that part out loud. “Thank you for letting me love her.”
Graham sniffles, his eyes just as red as I know mine are. “With how unhealthy my marriage was with Megan, I honestly didn’t know if I would ever want to put myself in that position again. I didn’t know if I wanted to open myself up to love or marriage, or if I’d rather stay single. That always made me feel guilty because Ellie Mae deserves to have that… The unconditional, pure love that I have from not only my mother who gave birth to me, but the woman who came into my life and had no obligation to love or care for me but did anyway. Watching you love my daughter has been one of the most special things I’ve ever witnessed, Sunny.”
I smile through the tears, my chest tight and my body filled with so many emotions. My heart pitter-patters against my ribs. Leaning over, I gently press a kiss on Graham’s lips as my hand cups the side of his face.I love you.As Graham’s tongue slips in my mouth and caresses mine, I forget how to breathe.I’m so in love with you.I let my lips say everything I can’t put a voice to yet, hoping he hears me. And it almost feels like he’s saying it too. I don’t know who moves first, but we’re both out of our chairs and his arms circle my waist as mine wrap around his shoulders. The kiss turns passionate, but never hurried. With each brush of his tongue, my body heats, and as his firm, full lips move with mine, my body awakens in a way it only does for him. In a way it’salwaysdone for him.
Gripping my waist, Graham lifts me onto the table, my legs spreading as he steps between them. His hand slides around to the back of my neck, fingers threading through the wet strands at my nape as he deepens the kiss. I cling onto his shirt, needing him, and it seems like he needs me just as badly with the way he’s holding on to me. My core clenches as he pulls me to theedge of the table, and as my legs wrap around him, I can feel how hard he already is.
“Graham…”
“What do you need, Sunny?” he asks, voice full of gravel.
“You,” I moan in between kissing him, bringing my hand around and shoving his pajama pants down. “I need you so bad.” I palm his hot, velvety length as he groans into my mouth.
“You need this dick in your needy little pussy?”
