Our gazes hold for an indefinite period, and the thought flashes through my mind that I’m not strong enough to stop this.
Whateverthisis.
Though if I’m honest with myself, deep down inside, I don’twantto.
EMERSON
As I slowly chew my first bite of dessert, I can feel Ford’s stoic presence over by the bar as plainly as if he were by my side, and I’m powerless against the pull to glance in his direction.
Our gazes clash and hold as though connected by an invisible tether, until the flash from a camera outside the window directly to my right catches me off guard.
Considering this is a fake-dating situation designed to ensure tabloid coverage that will potentially boost the release ofBreaking Us, Beck had been adamant that Ford’s new system to keep the paparazzi at bay was not allowed to come into play tonight. And with the more flashes I’m subjected to, the more I’ve come to realize just how much I hate this side of the life I lead.
“Lay one on me, sugar tits.”
Shifting my attention back to my smirking fake boyfriend, I narrow my eyes playfully.
“Sugar tits?Really?”
Lawson nods smugly, dunking his fork into my caramel pecan cheesecake, heedless of my cries of reproach. “All good boyfriends have a nickname for their girl, right?”
I deadpan as he chews his thieved mouthful of my dessert. “Sugar tits?”
He leans closer as mischief colors his features, and his voice drops to a low murmur. “And what didhecall you?”
I freeze for a moment, furrowing my brow even as my stomach bottoms out. “What didwhocall me?”
Law flicks his gaze toward the bar, tilting his head to one side as he regards me with knowing eyes. “Mr. Tall, Dark, and Broody over there.”
He throws back his head at my feigned look of confusion, laughing boisterously before meeting my eyes again. “Wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out you two have a history. The dude looks like he’d love nothing more than to string me up by the short and curlies and beat me with a baseball bat every time I’m within two feet of you.”
“No, he doesn’t…” I trail off when I look toward Ford, finding him glowering at Lawson before he can school his features.
Law bursts out laughing before reaching a hand out beneath the table to rest it lightly on my knee. “Quick! If you look now, you’ll witness his head imploding.”
“Lawson!” Even as I admonish him, I can’t keep the grin off my face. “Why do you like to fuck with people so much?”
He shrugs as he takes a sip of his beer. “It’s fun to see how far I can take it before things go to shit.”
Before I can ask him to elaborate, his cell rings from its place on the table between us.
I nod that he’s good to take it, so he grins, swiping to answer on the third ring. “Wilde by name, Wilde by nature. How may I assist you today?”
I snort into my dessert at Law’s typical no-shits-given behavior before taking another bite.
As my companion for the evening discusses an upcoming event back in the UK, I lift my head and glance around the restaurant. My gaze finds Ford’s back almost immediately as he converses with one of his Sentinel staff.
Kyle, I think. Or maybe it’s Thom…
My eyes rake across his entire form, noting the impeccable cut of his black suit that fits his body as though made for it. His broad shoulders fill the jacket to perfection, and the pants hug his tight ass in a way that makes me suck my bottom lip between my teeth, inhaling sharply as all manner of depraved thoughts flood my mind.
Sure, I’ve kissed others since being with Ford, but the fear of intimacy…the memories surrounding those days after his departure and how that time continues to haunt me, have always stopped me from taking things much further beyond kissing. As such, I’ve never experienced a connection like ours with anyone else.
And so, Ford Holloway and the way he made me feel—and apparently, continues to make me feel—has been the yardstick I’ve measured all others by, finding every other man to be lacking in one way or another.
Several flashes from outside make me blink in earnest, frowning in consternation as Ford finishes his conversation with Kyle.
My cell chimes with a text, and I quickly open it with a smile.
