“Seriously, Hayles, quit it.Look.” Knowing it will be negative, I hold up the test and spear my far too-in-tune sister with skeptical eyes. “Negative, like I said it would be.”
I toss the test in her trash can and grab my backpack from her bed. “Now, I’m going home to my boyfriend, and we’ll see you later for enchiladas, okay?”
She nods once, pressing her lips closed pointedly, and I quickly escape her studio before she can point out any more painfully obvious symptoms that my brain chose to ignore.
I quickly jog to the nearest subway station, impatient to be home. To tell Ford. To cement our plans now that there’s a little one on the way.
The thought sustains me on the ten-minute journey to my stop, and as I rush up the steps and onto the street, I slam to a halt, spotting a store I’ve passed a million and one times but never had cause to reallyseebefore now.
La Belle Mode.
A children’s clothing boutique.
As I step closer, my eyes widen when I notice a simple white vest with a single coral peony on the center of the chest and the wordsDad’s Girlemblazoned beneath. Without conscious thought, I enter the store and, thirty seconds later, reemerge with the same vest inside the bag in my hand.
Several minutes later, I’m practically bursting with joy when I jog up the steps to my parents’ brownstone and unlock the door, calling for Ford as I rush from room to room.
“Where you gone to, Cowboy?”
I’m frowning when I open my bedroom door, the room we’ve shared for these last three months, and my stomach dips when I spot an envelope on the bed.
My feet bring me closer as my eyes flit around the space, and dread curls within me when I notice all his things are gone—his guitar, his boots, his cowboy hat…
And when I open the envelope, even though I instinctivelyknowwhat’s coming, a keening cry pierces the air when I read the sentence on the page.
I can’t do it.
Four words. That’s all it takes for my whole world to come crumbling down.
No elaboration. No explanation. Not even his name.
Four words. Nine letters. And an absence that speaks louder than any words at all.
I shake my head, my breathing accelerating when I reread the words, needing to understand what happened. Where he is…why he left…
Quickly, I tug my cell from my backpack and dial his number, barely daring to breathe as I wait for the call to connect, but it’s out of service. As I listen to the beeping in my ear, the note flutters from my hand to the ground, and the realization that he’s gone crashes into me with all the force of a freight train.
In that moment, my heart splinters into a million fragments, a shattered and useless organ making my chest ache painfully. All I can do is crawl onto the bed we made love in just this morning to wrap myself in sheets that still smell like him. As I inhale his beloved outdoorsy scent, I curl into a ball and cry silent tears until I can’t cry anymore.
I lay unmoving, staring into nothingness until the room turns dark, and the evening shadows encroach. My mouth is parched, and the need to hydrate is stronger than my desire to wallow, so I finally move, stretching my aching body as I edge off the bed.
My limbs feel heavy as I push myself to stand, stopping when I feel a sharp pain in my lower abdomen that makes me wince.
“Ouch.”
When I take a step forward, the pain worsens, and a bone-chilling fear trickles down my spine as I press my palm over my stomach. Somewhere in the distance, I hear Hayley’s voice downstairs, but I ignore her, intent on getting to the bathroom to splash some cool water on my suddenly too-hot cheeks.
I’ve barely crossed the threshold to my ensuite as spots appear in my vision, panic rising in my chest when I dimly register that my head feels faint before the room fades to black.
CHAPTER 21
FORD
Present Day
“I wokeup moments later with my cheek pressed to the cold bathroom tiles. The sight of Hayley’s blue sneakers greeted me, her scream echoing around me as though from a distance. She held me…pleaded with me to go to the hospital, but…”
Tears crest my bottom lashes, joining the others that mark my emotion-stained face when Emmy trails off. My heart is torn to shreds, knowing she went through all of this on the day I walked away, and the ache I’ve carried with me these past five years throbs with blinding pain, the like of which I’ve never dreamed.
