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There were rosy spots on her cheeks. There was an edge of determination to her. He loved it. He loved everything about it.
He walked over and put his hands on her shoulders. ‘Grace, that’s the best thing I’ve heard this year. You will be a fantastic interior designer. You are a fantastic interior designer. I can’t think of anything more perfect for you. But you don’t need to leave here to do that.’
There was an almost startled expression on her face. ‘Yes. Yes, I do. I can’t be around you, Finlay. I won’t be around you.’
His heart twisted inside his chest. ‘Not even if I tell you that I love you? Not even if I tell you I’ve been a complete fool?’ He stopped to draw breath. ‘Grace, for the first time in years you’ve made me wake up and look around. I wasn’t paying attention to life—oh, I thought I was, but not really, not the way I should have.’ He ran his fingers through his hair. He wished he’d showered. He wished he’d changed out of the clothes he’d spent all night wearing on the roof. He put his hands on his hips. ‘It wasn’t just Drumegan Castle that I neglected. It was everything else too.’
‘What does that mean?’
He reached out for her hands. ‘It means everything, Grace. I think I have been ready to move on. The only person that hadn’t acknowledged that was me.’
She shook her head as he clutched her hands even tighter.
‘I’m sorry. I don’t know how to do this any more. I’ve forgotten every rule of dating that I ever knew.’ He pressed one hand against his heart. ‘All I know is that ever since I met you, I’ve felt alive again. I’ve woken up and had something to look forward to. I’ll never forget Anna, but, for a few days there, I felt guilty because I’d hardly thought about her at all. My mind was just filled with you, Grace. Every time you smiled, every time you winked at me, every time you looked sad. The way you loved Christmas. When you shared with me about your grandmother. But I looked at you, and your capacity to love, and wondered if I could ever meet that. Ever fulfil that for you.’
Grace blinked and licked her red lips. Her gaze was steady. ‘What are you doing, Finlay? Where has this come from?’
He laughed and pointed to his head. ‘In here.’ Then his heart. ‘And in here. I spent most of last night sitting on the roof trying to get my head in order. You know, after a while, you start to think the Battersea Power Station lights should be purple.’
The edges of her lips curled upwards for a few seconds. ‘But I still want everything. I don’t want half a relationship. Anna’s gone, Finlay. But I’m not. I’m here. I won’t share. Not with anyone dead or alive.’
She was deadly serious. It was written all over her face and it just made his heart ache all the more for the pain he’d caused her. ‘I love you, Grace Ellis. How long does it officially take people to fall in love? Can it happen in a few hours, a few days, a few weeks? Because that’s what it feels like to me. I’m sorry for what I said in the helicopter. I’m sorry for what I suggested yesterday. I don’t want just to see you now and then. I want to see you every single day.’ He reached over and touched her cheek. ‘Every single day for the rest of my life.’
Her eyes were wet. He could see her struggle to swallow. ‘I don’t know, Finlay. I just don’t know. You hurt me.’
His hands were shaking by now. ‘I know. I’m sorry. I can’t promise that I’m good at all this. But what I can promise is that every day, for the rest of my life, I’ll try and show you how much I love you. How much you mean to me. Will you let me, Grace? Will you let me try?’
He pulled his hands back. He had to give her space. He had to respect her wishes. He’d already trampled all over her heart once.
She turned and looked out of the window, across the snow-dusted rooftops of London.
‘How long were you up on that roof?’
‘What?’
‘How long were you up on that roof?’
He shook his head. ‘I’m not sure. I went up to try and clear my head. It must have been the early hours. I was there until Frank found me this morning.’
‘And you didn’t freeze to death?’
He could see her watching his reflection in the glass. ‘Not yet. There wasn’t enough snow. And I didn’t have anyone to make snow angels with. It didn’t seem like the right place, or the right time.’
‘How do I know any of this is true?’
He nodded and walked over to the kitchen counter. ‘When I phoned my mother this morning about cleaning up the castle, she threatened me with grievous bodily harm if I came back to visit without you.’
She spun around. ‘So, your mother wants you to date me?’
He smiled. ‘No, my mother wants me to marry you. But I have to beg for forgiveness first.’
She sucked in a breath and pulled her hands around herself. She rocked back and forth a little. ‘You’re going to clean up the castle?’
He nodded. ‘Starting January the sixth. Once it’s clean, I will probably need to hire an interior designer to help me redecorate.’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘Can you think of anyone I might ask?’
She took a step closer to the counter. ‘I might do. You should think about the person who thought purple was such a Christmas colour. She decorated one of the most exclusive hotels in London.’ He nodded and smiled as she added, ‘But I’ve heard she’s expensive.’
He picked up the decorations from the counter top. ‘There’s one last thing I need to do. To make this official. To make this right.’ He held out his hand towards her. ‘Will you come with me?’
She looked at his hand for a second before finally reaching out and sliding her hand into his. He walked them over to the private elevator, pressing buttons to take them to the ground floor.
It was New Year’s Eve. The hotel was busy with guests staying for the New Year’s celebrations. Finlay ignored them all. He strode across the foyer with Grace’s hand in his, only slowing down when they reached the main Christmas tree.
He took a deep breath. ‘A few weeks ago you found something and set it on my pillow.’ He pulled the ceramic angel from his pocket and lifted it, hanging it on the tree. ‘You also remembered to bring it to Scotland with us.’ He lifted his hand towards it. ‘It’s a memory. One that I will treasure and respect.’ He pulled something else from his pocket. ‘But I have another gift.’ He nodded his head and smiled. ‘This one was left in my office. It’s from a mutual friend. Discreet. Knowledgeable. With more finesse in her little finger than I can ever hope to achieve in my life.’ He lif
ted up the silver heart and hung it on the tree in front of them. ‘Alice gave me this before we’d ever met. She knew before I did, before we did, the potential that was in the air.’
He spun the silver heart around so Grace could see the engraving.
She read it out slowly. ‘“Memories are special in every single way, But new memories can be made every single day.”’ She gasped and put her hand to her mouth. ‘Alice gave you that?’
He nodded as he turned Grace around and slid his arms around her waist.
‘How do you feel about making some new memories, for The Armstrong, and for Drumegan Castle?’
She smiled and wound her arms around his neck. ‘I think I might have to be persuaded.’
He caught the twinkle in her eye. ‘And how might I do that?’
She laughed. ‘I can think of a few ways.’ Then stood on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear.
He picked her up and swung her around. ‘Grace Ellis, we’re in public!’ He put her feet back on the floor. ‘But we’ve got to start somewhere.’
And so he kissed her—again and again and again.
* * * * *
Keep reading for an excerpt from HER FESTIVE DOORSTEP BABY by Kate Hardy.
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