Raleigh:I fear that if that happens, nothing will save the evening.
***
My grand return is without fanfare, just as I’d hoped it would be. Mother tsked about it being too long since I’ve been here, but only after engulfing me in a long hug. After that brief interaction in the entryway, Mother made way for me to follow her into the sunken living room.
My dad greeted me with a smile and wide open arms. WithAmerican Pickerson in the background and the smell of the worn leather furniture, it was all too easy to sink into the couch and curl up.
Dad and I have fallen into our old routine as though no time has passed. I’m thankful for the teasing and the glass of whiskey, without which, I would be a wreck of nerves. It takes me back to my unremarkable childhood, and for only a moment, I allow myself to miss it.
The very reason I don’t let myself dwell on my easy and relaxed youth knocks at the door and suddenly memories of long hot summer days spent in the yard dissolve. As the doorbell rings I turn to my father who is already reaching out a hand to me. “I’m proud of you,” he says with a knowing smile. I grab his hand and hold it in mine. “It takes a special kind of person to face something like tonight when you could so easily ignore it all and keep on with your life. Just remember that this is for your mother; she wants to see you both happy, with the closure you both deserve. You’ve done much harder things than this, Raleigh, but I hope that tonight you’ll let me have your back.”
All I can do is nod. If I talk, I think I might cry and then attempt an escape.
“Are you two just going to leave our guests at the door?” I hear my mom chirp from the kitchen. “Really, you two? I do all the cooking and you expect me to get the door?”
“We’ve got it, dear!” my dad calls back, clinking his glass onto the coffee table.
Mother’s made this arrangement on purpose, but I’d rather face this at the door than at the dinner table. With a heavy breath, I join my dad in the hallway. I get all the way to the door handle before faltering. My dad puts his hand on mine quickly, not missing a beat. Before my mother can scold us for leaving our guests in the cold—it’s actually 75 degrees and sunny—Dad opens the door and I feel the color drain from my face.
My gaze takes in Grant’s fiancé first. My total opposite in every way, I can’t help but balk at her classic beauty. Athletic curves, blond hair, tailored nails, bangs, all of it. The woman goes in for a hug with my dad, and soon after, Grant shakes my father’s hand. I suddenly realize that this woman and Grant might be better acquainted with my parents than me, that they’ve been here for my parents when I could not be. I guess that’s what happens when your parents remain active in the same church and school activities from your childhood.
I couldn’t possibly explain the emotions that tear through me when Grant finally catches my eye. Years of our tragic history pass between us, but his smile doesn’t falter. With a little nudge from my father to my right, I take the first step at bridging the gap and reach out a hand. The same electricity of the past passes between us at the first touch, and I pray that my face doesn’t betray me.
“Raleigh,” Grant begins, retreating from my grasp. “This is my fiancé, Tobin.” Before I turn to his bombshell of a future wife, I see the way he flexes his fingers on the hand that just held mine, but I don’t dare comment on it.
“I’m such a big fan!” Tobin exclaims with a smile. She doesn’t make a move to come near me and neither do I toward her. There’s only so much I can take in one meeting.
***
Dinner is just as awkward as the introductions at the door. Mother and Tobin chat about the wedding, and my dad tries to chime in with a classic dad joke time and again. Besides the forced fake niceties and smiles in regards to wedding planning, Grant and I remain silent.
I know my mom’s heart was in the right place when she set this up, but believe it or not, a family dinner is not the best place to make old wrongs right again. I simply need to make it through without anyone catching an eye roll or hearing the comments I’m making in my head.
“Raleigh?” Tobin asks, deep into the dessert course. I raise my head from my nearly empty plate and find two bites taken out of hers. “I’ve been biting my tongue the whole meal, but really, I need to know about this upcoming show.”
The tension in my shoulders drops when I realize she doesn’t want to know about me. “Oh, um, it’s just a one off show. We’ve been itching to get on the stage since the abrupt end of the tour.”
Tobin’s eyes dart between me and her fiancè. “I hate to be forward, but considering your friendship with Grant, would we be able to get a few tickets? It’s the least you could do for us really, since none of us would be in this position if Grant had stayed with you.”
Grant winces and I nearly choke on my dessert. Dad rears back but holds his tongue. Mother quickly finds her feet to clear the table. I swear, I hear the light light humming of “Ring of Fire” as she shuffles away.
Game. Set. Match.Dalton.
The single thought of Dalton rubbing my face in our pointless bet suddenly has me seething. I should be with him, wherever the hell he is, instead of here in front of a man who hurt me badly and hasn’t done one iota to fix it.
Feigning an emergency, I take a look at my phone laying on the table that I left face up for this exact reason. It didn’t buzz or light up, but I’m a good actress. I tap the screen and frown.
“You know what, I’ve got to handle this,” I say with a concerned frown, before turning my screen around. Far too quickly, I pocket it and stand. At this point I’ll do anything to leave this nightmare. “But, of course, I’ll get you tickets. It’s the least I could do for you for enduring my company this evening.” I bite out with a laugh, hoping it’s rude enough to keep the couple talking after they’ve left for the evening. “Two VIP tickets.” I turn toward the stairs but stop. Turning back over my shoulder I glare at Grant and wait for him to stutter. “Consider it a wedding gift…I mean, as long as Grant won’t regret being so close to a stage again.”
I don't know what’s come over me, I just know that this situation was never meant to be one for me to win or conquer in any way. It’s not fair to my parents for any of us to behave in such a way at the dinner table, but it’s not fair to me either. They’ve kept up with Grant even after everything he put me through. I’m happy now, and that happiness is not something I will compromise for another moment in that room. Now that I have Dalton and I know a joyful relationship is possible, I don’t want to give it up.
As I bound up the stairs and shut myself in my childhood bedroom, the small space comes to life, immediately putting me into a completely different world from the dinner table below.
Nineties posters line the walls like wallpaper, and my radio sits where I left it plugged in 15 years ago. Old lyric books remain stacked on my dresser, and my first keyboard remains under the windowsill. There’s not a speck of dust on any of it. Bless my mom’s heart.
Ignoring a very not tween age appropriate Brad Pitt poster beside the bed, I climb up onto the top quilt and let myself sinkinto the twin sized bed. I pull out my phone and begin to handle myvery realemergency.
Raleigh:Hey, you totally won our bet.
