“I’m a realist. It’s an impossible situation where one or both of us would have to give up the life we love. I don’t want to do that, and I wouldn’t ask that of him.” I’m breathing hard. This is similar to arguments we’ve had before, but this time it’s hitting me a little harder. “And I certainly don’t want someone who will be in my life part-time. We’ve had enough of that.”
She nods slowly. “Do you know that he loves his life?” Val says, her voice soft as she takes my hand. “What if he doesn’t, and you miss something that would have been amazing?”
I have to believe amazing is waiting for me back in North Carolina, and this with Alex will become a crazy story I tell.Somepeople are impressed by actors. Not me, obviously.
Well, I might be impressed by this one, but it has nothing to do with his profession.
19
Alexander
Iwakewithasense of sadness or desperation, like I came out of a dream which was particularly good. Maybe I did, but my mind won’t take me back to check. I only feel the loss of it in my grogginess. As I awaken further, I’m reminded of another loss, and I wonder if that was the only one. Maybe my brain won’t take me back to a dream because there wasn’t one. Only the loss of a woman who was never even mine.
I get out of bed and open the curtains, the sun high in the sky. I’ll get this sleep schedule sorted out by the time I head back to the States.
My phone pings with a notification. I hope it’s Ivy, but it isn’t.
GREY
Hey! I need an update on the Ivy situation. You guys in love yet?
ALEXANDER
It’s already over. She couldn’t see past our logistical problems.
GREY
What? How? You’re amazing! You’re not giving up, are you?
ALEXANDER
Yeah. I don’t have a choice.
GREY
Is she still in London? If so, you need to give it one more shot. I’ll be super mad at you if you don’t.
I roll my eyes, but maybe she’s right. I decide to text Ivy.
ALEXANDER
Are you busy? Would you meet me somewhere? It can be as briefas you like.
It’s not until I’ve showered and had breakfast that I hear back from her.
BEAUTIFUL IVY
Sure. Val and Micah took the kids to do some kid things. I decided to hang back and find other things to get up to. Just tell me when and where.
Oh my gosh. She said she’ll meet with me. I didn’t even have to convince her. I hadn’t let my hopes get too high, but now they are soaring.
I’m sitting on a bench in a park near Ivy’s hotel. I’d offered to pick her up, but she wanted to walk to meet me. Fair enough. It gave me time to stop and pick up a Cornish pasty. I hope she hasn’t already tried one.
I’m holding the same newspaper from the other day in front of my face when someone who smells faintly of flowers sits beside me.
“Aren’t you that famous actor? Brad Hawthorne? I almost didn’t recognize you with this masterful disguise. Glassesanda newspaper? You really know what you’re doing.”
I smile toward my paper. She isn't shutting me out. This is a good sign. I turn my smile toward her. “You can’t be too careful with the riff-raff around here.” I eye her suspiciously. She’s so beautiful. She’s wearing a red dress with sneakers, and her hair is wilder than I’ve seen it. I love it, but the urge to touch it threatens to make this more awkward than it needs to be.
