If she thought it odd that he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of her, he couldn't tell.
Thoughts of his mother and worry about her condition threatened to intrude, and he had the most pressing urge to tell Nelly about her. He'd been fighting it throughout the entire evening, because he knew he couldn't tell Nelly when the rest of his siblings didn't know. Still, he knew that Nelly would agree with him that his mother's way was the best, and it would just be nice to be able to talk to someone about it. Funny, until a few weeks ago, he wouldn't have considered that Nelly would be the one person in the world he would want to share the most important news of his life with.
Finally, when her car was out of sight, he pushed off the railing and started toward his own vehicle. Tonight couldn't come soon enough.
Chapter Thirty
Nelly pulled her hood a little tighter around her head and quickened her steps. The night air was cool, crisp, and it had the smell of snow in it.
Christmas lights twinkled on the gazebo ahead, and a shadow moved.
Roland.
She smiled to herself.
While Roland knew who she was, and she didn't need her disguise for him any longer, she continued to wear it because neither one of them wanted the entire town knowing who they were. There was something about giving to people in secret that made it more fun. And maybe even more of a blessing, because it definitely couldn't be about them seeking recognition or fame or accolades, if no one knew who they were.
But, there was something really nice about knowing that Roland was her partner. Maybe a few somethings, since her feelings had gotten all jumbled up.
She wanted to talk to him about them so badly, but she didn't want to ruin what they had. It would not just make the Secret Saintprojects awkward, but they were working on the Christmas program together too. It had been coming along really, really well.
The shadow moved again, and she caught a glimpse of Roland, his broad shoulders, and even a flash of his smile. He apparently was holding his ski cap.
Her feet moved faster of their own accord, and she found herself a little breathless, as she made it to the gazebo, coming to a stop closer to him than she intended.
"In a rush to get this done before the snow arrives?" he asked, with a smile in his voice.
She nodded. That wasn't exactly what had happened, but it seemed like a good excuse. And, it was true that she didn't want to drive in the snow.
"I have my car parked around the corner. Did you check to see if the house was empty?" That had been their plan. He was coming in from the other direction and they figured that they would meet first, because neither one of them had heard conclusively that the family they were delivering the gifts to was not going to be home.
"I scouted out their house a little bit ago, and saw the car with the parents and kids in it driving away. I assume they're going out like you heard they were going to."
"Perfect. Do you want to come with me? We can drive over together."
She kept her voice low, and managed to keep from reaching out to touch him. Just being near him sent odd tingles of something warm and happy down her backbone.
"Sure," he said easily, and they fell into step together.
He seemed a little quiet as they walked along, and she thought back to the Christmas program, and Pastor and Mrs. Tucker. In particular, Mrs. Tucker and the disapproving frown the woman gave Roland. Was he bothered by that?
"Is everything okay?"
The muted clump of their feet struck the sidewalk four more times before he spoke.
"My mom hasn't been feeling well. I can't really share anything more than that, because she doesn't want my siblings to know. And I can hardly tell someone outside the family when they don't have the information. But... I guess it's weighing on me some."
"This is a terrible time of year to have news like that. And your mom is such a pillar in the community. I'm sure she's just as much the backbone of your family."
"Yeah. I mean, I guess our family won't fall apart if something happens to her, but it feels like it, you know?" He paused for a moment, and then he said, "Plus, I want my kids to know her. I want them to have the blessing of being around her, gleaning from her wisdom, I want that for myself too."
"This sounds pretty serious," Nelly said, thinking that he wasn't talking about any old disease. It sounded like he was talking about something that could kill his mother.
"I guess it has the potential to be." His words were soft. And then a short silence stretched between them. Finally he said, "I feel better just talking to you about it. I'm sorry I brought it up, but I can't share the details."
"No. Don't be sorry. I totally understand. I wouldn't want your siblings to be upset that you shared something with me that they don't even know. And, I get how talking with someone helps. Or even just having someone with you. The day you helped me with my gram really shifted things for me. I... felt like I wasn't alone."
"Anytime you want help, just say so."
