Chapter Thirty-Two
Candlelight shimmered softly in the darkness, making the atmosphere of the church feel magical as snowflakes fell gently outside the windows. This time, the atmospheric choice was intentional, since the electricity was not off, but Roland and Nelly had decided that to have the entire service by candlelight would give a special feel to the entire thing, and enhance the holiday mood.
Plus, back when Jesus was born, whether it was in the winter or not, there definitely was not electricity.
Not that turning the lights out for one evening gave anyone the idea that they were similar to biblical times, but it lent a shimmer of authenticity to the Christmas program.
Roland had been instrumental in helping Nelly work through her pre-program jitters, joking with her, and easing her fears.
She didn't know why she always got nervous. It was up to the children to do well, not her. She couldn't force kids to learn their lines or parts.
Still, as co-directors, it all came back to Roland and her.
But she needn't have feared. Robert McBride, Roland's nephew,did an amazing job as Joseph, delivering his lines perfectly, and Nelly suspected that Roland had gone over them with him more than once.
Maryellen had also done an excellent job as Mary, and little Lilly shone as a silent angel.
Even though angels were all men in the Bible, American tradition seemed to typically cast them as female, and Lilly excelled in her role, looking angelic and sweet.
At the end of the play, Pastor got up and spoke a few words, just an invitation to the congregation, reminding them that the heavenly family always had room for one more who was willing to accept Jesus's finished work on the cross as atonement for their sins, and accept His free gift of salvation, which He offered to all who would believe. It was the only way to heaven, since Jesus said He was the way, the truth, and the life, and no man came unto the father except through him.
It was a beautiful message, short, to the point, and a perfect end cap to a beautiful play.
The pastor emphasized the baby in the manger being God's gift to humankind, just as salvation was a gift, not something that could be earned or paid for.
It was also the reason that tradition had evolved for people to give gifts at Christmas time, in imitation of the gift that God had given to them.
Nelly had thought about the Secret Saint, and all the different things that she and Roland had done that season. They were all gifts, freely given. No payment expected or even wanted in return. That was what a gift was.
But, she supposed that she did enjoy seeing people appreciate her gift, and then, she appreciated even more seeing people use it wisely.
At the very end of the service, Pastor had gotten up and announced that the perpetrator of the stolen money had been caught. He also said that she had expressed remorse, and asked for forgiveness. Pastor said a few words about forgiveness, and how wewere to forgive others as God had forgiven us. It wasn't a large step from there to the fact that she had been granted forgiveness, and had said that she was going to be paying everything back.
Pastor had no sooner said that when Mrs. Tucker stood up.
"I can't sit here and allow Pastor to say that without admitting that it was me. I was the one who was stealing the money." A ripple went through the crowd, and Nelly stared at Mrs. Tucker. She had not expected this.
"I did say I was sorry. I did ask for forgiveness. I'm ashamed of what I did. And while I felt like I had reasons at the time, I offer no excuse." She swallowed hard, and Nelly knew this had to be exceptionally difficult for her.
"I wanted to publicly apologize to Roland McBride. I had cast aspersions on his good name, knowing that his reputation was such that he probably would not be formally charged. I also knew that he could probably shake it off, and I knew as well that there was no evidence that linked him to the crime, so he could not possibly be punished for it. I thought I was doing a good thing by picking someone who could not be connected with a crime, but I realize that instead of allowing my good name to be soiled, I soiled his. There's no excuse for that, and I'm sorry."
The sanctuary was completely silent, as the echo of Mrs. Tucker's voice faded away.
Nelly for one couldn't contain her astonishment. She knew her mouth hung open, but she couldn't change it. Mrs. Tucker had apologized. She had done so in such a way as to make Roland look good, while making herself look bad. It took a very big person to do that.
And, from the look on her face, she didn't expect the congregation to offer forgiveness as much as they offered judgment and condemnation.
But, as Nelly continued to think about it, Mr. Johnson stood up in the back. "I think everyone should have compassion on you, Mrs. Tucker. You've been through a very difficult time,having lost your husband recently, and it never even occurred to me that money might be tight. I'm sorry about that. I admire you for taking the blame, and making sure that everyone knows that Roland wasn't involved."
Soon another man stood up and said basically the same thing. Until the entire congregation had not only stood up, but had started moving toward Mrs. Tucker, taking turns, hugging her, and telling her that it was okay. That they forgave her.
Nelly found herself swept up in the crowd, and even though she had already told Mrs. Tucker that she didn't hold it against her, she moved towards her, to give her another hug.
"What a brave woman you are," she said, when it was her turn to stand in front of Mrs. Tucker.
"Not brave. Forgiven. Redeemed. But still sinful."
It was a simple answer, but it was true for everyone. Nelly couldn't judge Mrs. Tucker, unless she wanted someone else to look at her life and judge her. She certainly wasn't perfect.
