When we reach Will’s cabin, the door is closed, and he pretends he can’t remember his code. “Not funny,” I say, elbowing him in the ribs.
When we’re finally inside, I’m shivering. Will puts a hand on each of my arms and vigorously rubs up and down. It warms me up immediately, and I mutter an awkward thank-you. As I’m wondering whether I should offer to do the same to him, he holds out an arm toward the bed.
“All yours,” he says as he picks up a pillow and a blanket, then lies down on the floor.
“You can’t sleep like that,” I say, looking at the pitiful scene of his six-foot-three frame curled into a floor space barely big enough to stand in. “There’s not even a carpet. Come on, it’s a double bed. We’ll just have to…” I can’t bring myself to say it.
“Try to resist ripping each other’s clothes off?” he asks, finishing my sentence, but his tone sounds matter-of-fact rather than flirtatious.
When he stands up again, his broad, firm, hot body is only inches from mine in the confined space. Then he turns and passes me a T-shirt from his backpack. “Something to sleep in.”
Wordlessly, I take it, then slip into the tiny toilet cubicle to change because I don’t want to get into his bed in my muddy jeans. I inhale the smell of his T-shirt as I put it on; it’s clean but still smells of his aftershave. I curse him for smelling so good. Hisshirt skims my thighs, and I come out, tugging it down, trying to hide my white legs. Thank God I waxed before I came, and that I happened to wear my nice new underwear.
Will is sitting on the bed. “Do you want this side or the wall?” he offers.
“The edge. That way, if you roll on me in the night, I’ll just fall out of bed rather than get crushed beneath you.”
“I will try not to crush you,” he says. He briefly looks me up and down in his T-shirt before squeezing his eyes closed and turning onto his side to face the wall. I flick out the bedside light and climb into bed beside him. Now that I’m lying in it, I discover how small this double bed is. It’s almost impossible not to touch each other, even though Will is pressed right up against the cabin wall.
“I’m sorry about this,” I say quietly in the dark.
“It’s okay,” he says gently, and I can feel the heat radiating from his body. “Would you have offered me your bed if it was me who locked myself out?”
“Of course I would,” I say, biting back a smile.
“Liar,” he says, gently kicking my leg. “Night, Anna.”
“Night, Will.”
We lie there in silence, totally still.Is he really just going to go to sleep?Of course that’s what I want, but I’m surprised. Why isn’t he teasing me about the situation? Was the “no strings” proposition just banter? Was he just toying with me to make me blush, while the reality is, he would never follow through?
His breath slows as though he might be about to fall asleep, and now I can’t help but feel slightly offended. There’s a half-naked woman in his bed, and he’s just nodded off within a few minutes. He’s not lying there tormented by my proximity. He’s not even going to try his luck—Will, who tries his luck witheveryone. With an unnerving, aching clarity, I realize I amdisappointed. Every muscle in my body is tense, every inch of my skin alert with goose bumps. I’m not going to be able to sleep while I can feel the heat of his huge, firm frame right beside me, when my mind is running wild.
I squeeze my eyes closed, tell myself to block it out, to pretend he isn’t here, but my body wants to nudge toward him, to have him wrap his arms around me, to do things in the dark that we don’t have to talk about in the morning. There’s a throbbing pulse between my legs that’s getting heavier and more insistent.No, no.I pull my legs up and hug my knees; I’m just confused, this is unfamiliar territory for me. Will is undeniably attractive, his body is incredible, I haven’t had sex in over two years, it’s no wonder I’m feeling…Stop thinking about it.
“Anna?” Will’s voice is quiet in the dark.
“Yup,” I say, my voice a squeak.
“Are you okay? You sound like you’re hyperventilating.”
“Do I? Sorry,” I say, but my voice comes out as a whimper, and I put a hand over my mouth.Get a grip, Anna. Anyone would think you’d never been in a small bed with a ridiculously hot male colleague.Of course I haven’t. Who has?
I’m probably just freaking out because Will joked about us having sex; he put the idea in my head. He wasn’t serious, he was just teasing me, but…What if he wasn’t?His body shifts, and his breathing sounds shallower. Is he also too distracted to sleep? Now my mind slips into a new gear.Would it really be so bad if something did happen?He’s planning to leave Bath, to leave the magazine; my nerve endings fizz when he looks at me a certain way; he doesn’t want a relationship with someone like me, it could be delightfully uncomplicated…No. Stop thinking about it.But I can’t stop thinking about it, and after ten minutes of tossing and turning, I find myself casually reaching my hand beneath the covers and resting a hand against his back.
As soon as I touch him, he flips over, grabs my hand, and pushes me back, holding my hand down against my pillow. A small moan of anticipation escapes my lips.
“What are you doing?” he asks, his voice low, serious.
“Um, I don’t know,” I reply, biting my lip. I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to think, I just want to kiss him, to break this unbearable tension between us.
“Anna,” he says, still holding my arm on the pillow, “I’m not going to touch you or kiss you unless you ask me to.” His voice is a low growl, as though he’s struggling to keep his composure. “I need to be sure I’m not taking advantage of this situation.”
“You can, you’re not,” I say quietly, my hips gently pushing forward. “I want this.”
“What do you want exactly?” His voice is calm and still. I feel like I might die of embarrassment or want, or both. I reach for him with my free hand, but he only clasps it with his other hand and pushes that hand back onto the pillow too. He rolls over so now he’s hovering above me, both my hands pinned against the pillow. I let out an unconscious groan. I have never felt so turned on in my entire life.
“Words first, Appleby,” he says. “Because you’re sending me a lot of confusing signals here.”
