“She looks good.” Amanda spoke at my side, her focus also now on the players instead of their coach.
Sierra toed over the last rung, and I glanced back at Amanda. “What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you’d be busy putting out the fires started by Dennis Nichols and his silent protest.”
Amanda’s exhale almost sounded of defeat. “Not sure what’s going to be salvageable when the flames die down.” She nodded to the field. “I needed to get out of the smoke. Remind myself what the love of the game feels like.”
“Sorry things at work have been tough lately.”
She shrugged. “That’s life I guess, right? Sometimes it can knock you down.”
I put my arms around her and squeezed, her side burrowing into my chest as I pressed my forehead to her temple. “Just remember the girls and I are here to help you back up again if that happens.”
She patted my hand and untangled herself from my hug. For all the flirtatiously outrageous things that came out of her mouth, she wasn’t much of a hugger or even an affectionate person. She turned her face away, but not before I noticed the thinning of her lips.
“Are you okay?”
“Look.” She pointed back out to the football pitch.
Drew’s head bent toward Sierra’s. He held a football in his hands. His fingers flexed then rewrapped around the leather.
“What is he doing?” My years of ignoring televised sports left me woefully ignorant.
“He’s showing her how to place her fingers on the laces.”
Grandma doilies and the tying of shoes entered my mind at the same time. I may not have been able to name a single person featured on ESPN, but even I knew Amanda hadn’t meant either of those things.
“You know when you go on and on about glacier recession, thermal expansion, and salinity levels?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, that what-in-the-world-is-she-talking-about feeling you’re experiencing right now? That’s how we all feel after one of your monologues.”
So basically, in our group dynamics I was the essence of Ross and his dinosaurs fromFriends. Great.
Amanda laughed at whatever expression my face pulled. “Don’t worry about it. Just hold on a second.”
She walked at a clipped rate and returned a minute later with a football, which she rotated until a row of white stitching faced up.
“These are the laces,” she announced. Her fingers stretched as she gripped near the back pointy end, her pinky and ring finger on the laces while the side of her middle finger touched the last white stitch. “Quarterbacks—you know, the players who throw the ball after the snap—hold the ball like this in preparation to throw.”
My stomach bottomed out. “Quarterback? You mean the guy everyone else is trying to knock to the ground?”
Amanda’s brows drew down as my panic rose. “It’s called a sack.”
“I don’t care if it’s called fluffy bunnies. Why is he putting a target on my little girl? He can’t make her quarterback. She’ll get hurt!”
I registered pressure on my elbow but couldn’t tear my gaze away from Sierra and Drew. She concentrated on whatever he was saying, then spread her feet and cocked the ball back.
Amanda shook my arm. “She’s not going to get hurt, Nic.”
I snorted. “That’s right. Because no football player has ever suffered from a concussion or been benched due to an injury.” I could feel myself spiraling but couldn’t get a grip on anything to stop myself from sliding further into panic. I knew in my head that I needed to give Sierra space to explore her interests and passions, but I also couldn’t dislodge the mental image of her in the ER or being taken back for a CAT scan or an MRI.
She was my baby. My life. It was my job to protect her and keep her safe. How could I be doing that job well if I willingly allowed her to be put in a position that could cause her bodily harm?
“Nicole!” Amanda’s sharp voice sliced through my snowballing thoughts. She placed her hands on either side of my face and forced me to meet her eyes. “First, breathe.”
My chest expanded and nostrils flared as I consciously filled my lungs to capacity and slowly exhaled.
“Good.” She pushed my face away from hers and back toward the practice happening fifty yards away. Sierra leaned back on her right leg, wound up her arm, then launched the ball in the air. The elongated spherical shape spiraled through the air, arcing then settling softly into a boy’s arms.
