“Here, hold this,” Evangeline says, and since I’m miles away, she must have shoved something into Martha hands.
“What are you doing?” Martha asks, and I’m wondering the same thing.
“I’m doing a search for every romantic quote inAnna Karenina. Obviously.”
“It might not be a quote of a romantic nature this time,” I say.
Evangeline snorts.
Yeah, even I didn’t buy my lame attempt.
“‘I think,’” Evangeline reads, “‘if it is true that there are as many minds as there are heads, then there are as many kindsof love as there are hearts.’ Aww, that’s sweet. Do you think that’s it?” But she doesn’t wait for either of us to respond. “I’m going to keep searching.”
“Let me look,” Martha says, then there’s shuffling again and they must have traded phones. “‘I’ve always loved you, and when you love someone, you love the whole person, just as he or she is, and not as you would like them to be.’”
It’s way too early to be talking about love, isn’t it? Sure, our time together has in some ways seemed like I’ve stepped outside the space-time continuum. The calendar may not have even flipped to the next month, but I feel like I’ve lived an entire lifetime in that span. I can’t remember a time when Levi wasn’t in my life. When he didn’t hold me during thunderstorms or make my heart melt watching him cuddle kittens. I’ve enjoyed learning the nuances of his facial expressions and take way too much pleasure in knowing I’m probably the only person on the planet who knows that when the muscle in his jaw bulges, he’s bracing himself for something he perceives is a threat, but when that same muscle ticks, it’s because he’s reaching his threshold of stimulation and needs some space to decompress.
But love? That’s not what’s going on here.
“‘He knew she was there by the joy and terror that took possession of his heart. Everything was lit up by her. She was the smile that brightened everything around,’” Martha reads.
“That’s you, Hayley.” Evangeline’s voice comes quick and soft. “You bring light into the lives of everyone you come in contact with. I’d bet anything this is your clue quote.”
“I think she’s right,” Martha agrees. “And the page number it’s on definitely suggests it could be.”
I don’t say anything. Mostly because I don’t know whattosay. Not to Martha and Evangeline, and not to Levi.
Not even, I think, to myself.
“Oh! I think I see someone at the front desk. Looks like it’stime to get back to work. Bye, Hayley,” Evangeline sing-songs before the call is disconnected.
I sigh and return my phone to my purse. Levi’s letter weighs heavy in my hand, and there’s a sense of trepidation weaving its way around my ribs as I stare at the piece of paper. I’m almost afraid to read what he’s written. For a man of few words, he’s been sure to make every single one of them count. I feel like I’m standing on a stone wall with cracks in its foundation. One more sweet word from Levi, one more soft look, and I’ll topple and fall right over.
Truthfully, I’m already more than halfway to falling.
“Hayley!” Jack yells my name as he barrels out of the General Store’s entrance, his lips cracked open in a wide grin.
I look up from the letter in my hands and force a semblance of a smile. “What’s up, Jack?”
“I’m glad I caught you before you packed up.” He stops in front of the table and hooks his thumbs through his belt loops, still grinning. “The Department of Transportation just called. They said they should have the road back open by tomorrow afternoon. Isn’t that great news?”
23
The news of the road getting cleared and reopened spreads about as fast as you’d expect in a tiny little speck of a town. If put to a race, I swear a good old-fashioned small-town phone tree would beat out even the viral tendencies of social media in getting the word out about something.
That’s why when I walk through Levi’s front door and see him standing on the other side waiting for me, a knowing expression on his face, I’m not surprised. I am relieved, however, that I don’t have to be the one to tell him our little intermission from everyday life is coming to an end.
That’s kind of how my stay here is starting to feel. An intermission. Like there was a Before, a Pause, and now...
Now, I don’t know. I can’t go back to the Before. Meeting Levi has changed me too much to fit in the same role that I played in the Before. But what does the After look like? Who am I now? Do I try to find the same level of contentment I had, living each day as wholly as possible, intentionally trying to bless someone else with a random act of kindness?
And where does Levi fit in? If the whole goal of my journal is to keep myself accountable to paying the gift I was given forward, shouldn’t I apply those same principles where he’sconcerned? How is that being kind when it’s so incredibly selfish on my end? Shouldn’t I—
“I can practically hear your thoughts from here, you know.” Levi’s lips tilt just slightly.
The small uptick is hard to see under his facial hair, but I’m beginning to suspect it would be impossible for me not to notice the different subtleties of his movements. For a man of his stature, you’d think it would be hard to miss a single one of his muscles shifting beneath his clothing, but you’d be surprised.
I jut my chin and cross my arms. “You think you know me, huh?” I challenge, desperately trying to hold on to this intermission for as long as I can.
