“Are you okay?” Yejun said, pulling back and examining my white locks of hair, my bleached shirt. He reached for my arm on the bleached side and held it up to the light as if checking for marks.
“I’m okay,” I said, sniffling. “It only got a small part of the caféand went away pretty fast. But I’ve never been alone when a paradox came before, and I almost fell into it, and I…” I turned away, letting my hair fall over my face as if to hide my tears.
Yejun cupped my cheek and angled my face toward him, his eyes so wide and concerned that the next tears that tracked down my cheek weren’t a lie.Stop pretending, I thought.I can’t bear it.
“Did you tell Hyebin?” he said, wiping my tears away gently with his thumb.
I shook my head, leaning into his hand. “I didn’t want to talk to Hyebin,” I said. “I wanted to talk toyou.”
The words felt so foolish now that I knew the truth, but it was what he wanted to hear. His touch scalded me as he wiped more tears away, a cruel reminder of what could never be real.
Yejun smiled sadly, then tucked my head against his shirt and petted my hair. “I’m here,” he said, the warm words vibrating through his chest. “What can I do?”
I took a steadying breath, tugging at my sleeves while I pretended to contemplate the answer. “Can you take me somewhere else?” I said at last. “I don’t want to be here right now.”
He nodded quickly. “Anywhere,” he said, holding my face so delicately in his hands. “Where do you want to go?”
I glanced forlornly out the window at the gray sky.
“How about that day when it was sunny last week?” Yejun said quickly, just as I’d planned.
I pretended to contemplate it for a moment, then nodded and grabbed a napkin to wipe my face.
“Okay, stay right here,” Yejun said. “I’m gonna go clog a sink and scry for a sec. Don’t go anywhere!”
He gave my hand a gentle squeeze, then dashed off toward the bathrooms.
The moment he was out of sight, my shoulders drooped. I could still feel the warmth of his chest against my face, the sound of his heartbeat against my cheek.
Remember why you’re here, I thought, clenching my teeth and slumping over in the booth.Focus, Mina. You’re supposed to be scared. Think of scary things. Spiders. Clowns. Global warming.
Yejun hurried back a few moments later. “Okay, got it,” he said. “October eighth.”
He glanced around to check for humans or cameras, then held out his hand.
I hesitated, memorizing the pattern of his veins, the shape of his nails, the sight of his slender fingers that I had seen dance across scrying pools, changing the world like it meant nothing at all. This would be the last time I held Kim Yejun’s hand.
I took his hand and his magic sang through me. He would be able to taste my sadness, but he would think it was because I was scared after a paradox, not because I was about to say goodbye.
As we landed in the past, I squinted at the harsh morning sunlight through the windows, the unfairly beautiful sky.
“Better?” Yejun said, turning to me.
“Yes,” I said, smiling stiffly. I leaned forward to hug him butthis time didn’t press my face to his chest. I locked my eyes with him, so close to his face, my hands clutching his jacket. “Thank you, Yejun,” I whispered. “You’re always here for me. You’re the only one who is.”
It was almost easy now. I had waded so deep into the lie that I felt like I was telling the story of someone else’s life, a dream that would never be mine.
“I’ll always be here for you,” he lied, tucking my hair behind my ear.
I leaned closer, so close I could almost taste his next words on his lips, the sound of my name…
I slipped my hand into his pocket and closed my fingers around his yeouiju.
I turned away right as he leaned forward, pocketing his yeouiju before he could see the blue light between my fingers.
“I have a new plan,” I said, sitting back down in the booth.
Yejun blinked quickly, startled by the sudden change in mood, but nodded and slid into the booth opposite me.
