“Youkeep surprising me,Abraxas.What’snext?Doyou have a tail hidden away?”
“OfcourseIdo.It’simpossible to maintain your balance flying without one.”
Flying.Ofcourse, he had flown free above theclouds, amongst the stars that had birthed his people.Memoriesof his younger self rose to greet me, the onesI’dseen so long ago.Hisarms outstretched, running towards the edge of a cliff, nothing but the unadulterated joy of freedom rushing through his veins.
“Whatis it like to fly?”Iasked him.
Helaced his now claw-free fingers through my own. “Nothingcompares.Leavingeverything behind and riding the wind, it’s like nothing holds you back.”Isaw the awe on his face fade away. “Itwas the worst part of being trapped in this fae body.Thesky had been taken away from me.”
Iplaced my hand on his chest, letting it rest just over his heart. “Canyou show me?”
Hedidn’t respond but placed his hand over mine.Ifelt the weak thrum of his heart, and the golden light of our bond leaked from his chest, surrounding our hands.Muchlike it had all those nights ago,Ifelt our minds connect.Before, the bond needed to beat the connection into us, but now it was soft and warm, inviting me into his memories.
Onceagain,Iwas a youngAbraxas, standing on the cliffs aboveXyr.Ilooked to my father,KingAmaros.Longdark brown hair whipped around a face that was all harsh angles and stern eyes.Butas he raised his hand to point out over the cliffs and to the sea of theBayofDragons, that same mischievous smirkIloved so much cracked the severe expression, revealing shining white teeth.Excitementfluttered in my heart, andIturned and dashed out towards the edge of the cliff, running at full speed.
Theedge came closer and closer, butIdid not slow.Iplaced my foot at the very edge beforeIlaunched myself over.Theearth fell away, and my stomach rose into my throat.Butthen a great surge of magic, hot and unrestricted, flooded through my body, andIchanged.Myfingers grew long, the nails stretching and thickening into onyx talons.Myskin fell away to revealobsidian scales that directed the wind around my body perfectly.Myback was shot through with pain, butIhardly noticed, knowing the reward it would bring.Greatwings sprung out from beneath my scales, andIopened them wide to catch the air and stop my descent.Myentire form grew larger, but it didn’t feel strange.Ifanything, it made me realize how unnatural and compressed my fae form felt.
WhenIwore it for extended periods, the ache of that restraint just became a part of living—a dull ache that one could almost ignore, like the page that has bent so many times it falls into compliance.Butwhen it was released, andIcould be whole again, it always surprised me how truly lightIcould feel.
Soaringover the bay and out into theSeaofSpirits.Ikept to the mist as bestIcould.Ididn’t want to scare any fisherman out for an evening haul.Butthe further outIflew, the more my caution gave way to exuberance.Iread the wind, riding its currents while curling my magic through it, shaping it to my needs.Icould feel the vortexes created as they passed over waves and rocks, warning me of their presence long beforeIcould see them.ButIalways liked to see how closeIcould get before turning away at the last second.
WhenIfirst learned to fly,Icrashed into more rocks thanIcould count.Butafter mastering my body and the wind,Icould have a little fun.AsIdarted between the labyrinth of islands,Itucked my wings in and dove at breakneck speed down towards the water’s surface, using the flair of my tail to push into a spin.OnlywhenIfelt the spray of the saltwater on my scales didIspread my wings wide, pulling up at the last moment.Irepeated this over and over until the muscles in my back ached.
Adisturbance in the air told meIwasn’t alone anymore, andIsaw my father’s form fly overhead.Hisgreat, deep maroon scales gleamed in the ochre light of the fading sun, his eyes an almost perfect match for the glowing orb that wassinking beneath the ocean’s waves.Heflashed his golden teeth at me and then, with a might thatIonly hoped to possess whenIwas finally full-grown, pumped his great wings and rose into the air beyond my sight.Despitemy fatigue,Ifollowed suit, muscles straining in protest asIused my entire body to surge upward until we were both above the clouds.
Thesun finally dipped below the sea, and the purple of the horizon faded into the inky black of night as the stars came out to greet us.
Thememory faded from my mind, butIwas left withAbraxas’ joyful feeling in his heart—something so pure and innocent—the joy that can only be felt by the young, before the weight of the world, has crushed that beautiful and precious innocence from them.
Ididn’t have the words to describe howIfelt after seeing that.Iwas grateful that he had shared it with me, profoundly happy that he had those memories, and miserable that all of that had been ripped away from him.Isqueezed myself into his body, taking him into a deep embrace, hoping that he would understand.Hewrapped his arms around me, andIfelt he did.
“So, you were trapped in this body?How?”
Thatsly but sad smile returned to his face. “Aprison of my own making, in a way.Whenmy father was killed, he was the last great conduit.Inmy dragon form,Iwas too.ButIwas in fae form when he died.Transformingfrom dragon to fae is the hardest thingIever had to learn and takes a great deal of magic.Infae form,Ican no more conduct magic than any other.”Hegave a soft chuckle. “Well, any other fae that isn’t you.”Ithought of the feeling of magic in his memory.Itwas so raw and undiluted, a great mountain waterfall that made everythingIhad felt thus far feel like nothing more than a small forest creek.Adeep part of me was jealous that he had lived when power flowed unrestrained like that.
“Whenhe died, the last true well of magic on this earth died with him.Ihad to make a choice.Usethe magic of his death to change myself one last time or stay and protect my people and deal with the aftermath of the attack onXyr.Istill wonder if it was the right choice…”Hetrailed off, his gaze hard and distant.
Isqueezed his fingers between my own. “Youchose hope.Youcould have changed, and what would you have done?FoughtHadeon, tried for revenge to whatever end?Instead, you stayed with the people who needed you.YourebuiltXyr.”
“Youexalt me.I’mnot sure that’s whatIwas thinking, but it was the pathItook.”Hepaused again. “Butit meant thatIcouldn’t transform.Iknew that ifIdid, well,IassumedIwouldn’t survive long.Mylife force would be… is… tapped out.”
Hefinally turned to look at me. “Ourbond has let me hang on to life longer thanIexpected.”
Thisasshole. “Whowere you to make that choice, to kill yourself for some heroic gesture?Wecould have still fought our way out… somehow…”Iknew it wasn’t true.Wehad been surrounded, butIcouldn’t stand thatI’dfailed him so completely.Icouldn’t stand how much failureI’dcaused in such a short time.Tearsleaked from my eyes at my own self-pity, andAbraxasgently wiped them away.
“Itwasn’t your fault,Tori.”
“Don’tlie to me,Abraxas.Ifailed to findHadeon’sweakness.Ifailed to undo his power.Andfrom the sound of it,Ialso caused your whole plan to crumble with my impatience.Itis all my fault.Andnow…”Heheld me to his chest again as the tears flowed freely now, sobs breaking up my speech. “NowI’vealmost lost you.”
“Theblame is mine,Tori.Avlynwas right.OnceIhad you,Ibecame reckless like a child.Iwas so happy in a wayIthoughtIwould never be again.Iwasn’t thinking clearly.Iwanted everything with you, to experience everythingIwaited amillennium for.Ishould have held off on everything, butIcould never deny you.”
“Ifwe waited,Iwould have lostJun.”
Heplaced another soft kiss on my temple. “Howis he now?”
“He’slike a stranger.He’salive, andIcan be grateful for that, butIfeel likeIdon’t know him or what he needs.Mybrother, my twin, andIdon’t know him.”
“Giveit time, little bird.KnowingHadeon…”Hedidn’t have to say anything.Ihad seen the dark shadows aroundJun’sheart, so similar to the ones that had kept my magic away fromAbraxas.Death’shand hadJunin its clutches as well.
