Footstepssounded on the balcony behind me, andIquickly wiped the tears away.Iturned from the sun to seeCommanderAvlynwith a broad smile lighting up their face.
“I’vebeen sent to fetch you, my lady.”Theymet my eyes, and that smile faltered. “Iseverything alright?”
Ipulled on that maskIknew so well, hardening my features.Idon’t know whyIfound it more difficult to do recently. “I’mjust fine,Commander.Whenthe princess summons me, who amIto ignore it?”
Thatworried look didn’t leaveAvlyn’sface. “Ifyou would rather remain at the castle…Idon’t know what we are going to face out there.”
“What?Andgive up this chance to distract you in a dangerous situation?Nota chance,Commander.”
Asmile tugged andAvlyn’slips. “Carefulnow,Pallas, orIjust might think you are starting to like me.”
“Lookslike someone has been sipping on the princess’ mushroom tea,”Isaid flatly.
Atthat,Avlynlaughed loudly and without restraint.Tearsformed in their eyes, and they wiped them away with the back of their hand.
“Itwasn’t that funny.”
“Maybenot, butI’mjust happy to see you relaxing for half a second and acting like a real fae, not some stone statue.”
Ilooked away as shame filled me.
“Awfuck,PallasIdidn’t mean it like that…”
“It’salright,Commander, it’s whatIdeserve.”Ipulled the stone mask back on.
“Hey… don’t do that.”Avlyngently placed a hand on my arm, butIflinched away as if they had struck me.
Isaw the hurt in their eyes.Itlatched inside of me like tar sticking to my ribs, and no matter whatIdid,Icouldn’t get rid of it.So,Iturned to face the balcony again.
“I’llsee you on the boat then.”Avlynsaid asIheard them leaving the balcony.
“Itwas me.”Theirretreating footsteps stopped. “Imade the collar;Imade the collar that was onJun.”Thetears flowed again, and for the first time in centuries,Ididn’t try to hide them. “Itnearly killed him, and it was all my fault.”
Avlyndidn’t flee from my shame or try and quiet me.Instead, they grasped my hand in theirs. “Andwhy did you make that collar,Pallas?”Ididn’t answer but they knew anyway. “Theonly one to blame here isHadeonand his thirst for power.”Theygently ran their finger over my cheek, wiping away the tears that still fell. “Youdon’t have to hold on to that guilt.It’sa heavy burden, even for someone as strong as you.”
Iwanted to argue.I’mnot strong.I’mweak and cowardly.Whycan’t you see what’s right in front of you?ButAvlyn’sgaze was so warm, warmer than the sun that reflected off their dark, rich skin.AllIcould say was, “It’snot just the collar.I’vedone so much, so many unforgivable things…”
Theirwarm, calloused hand stayed on my cheek. “Well,I’mjust a stupid brute, soIcan’t tell you what will become of all those sins in your past.ButIcan ask you, what do you want to do with your future?It’syours now,Pallas, ready for you to shape into whatever you want.Don’tspend so long looking backward that you forget to move forward.”Theygave me a gentle smile.
Isniffled, “Thatwas quite poetic.”
Thesmile grew bigger. “Mymentor always had a big soft spot for poetry.”Theyfinally dropped their hands away, andIhad to use all my will not to lean into them.
“Comefind me in the entrance hall when you are ready to take that first step.”Theystrode away andIwas left alone again.
7 monthsago
“Don’tcollar himHadeon.Itwill mute his magic.Hewon’t be able to—”Hadeonraised a hand to silence me.Hisother held the collar.
Hecaressed the golden metal and flipped it over to examine the glyphs inside.Heset it on the table before flicking a dagger out of his belt and pricking his finger.Asingle drop of crimson blood welled up, and he smeared it over the embedded clear crystal at the throat of the collar.Purplelightning flashedas he activated the spell with his magic.Thecrystal hummed and turned violet.
“Please,I’mbegging you, please.Ihaven’t asked you for anything.Pleasejust let him be.I’llgive you anything.”
Hadeonturned away from the desk and finally looked at me.Hisexpression changed to oneIhadn’t seen in decades.Hiseyes grew soft, and his mouth turned down in the smallest frown.Hereached out with a gentle hand, running it over my hair and slowly under my jaw to grasp my cheek.Hepulled me into his chest, andIfelt him breathe in the scent of my hair.
“Oh,Pallas.”Hegave me a gentle kiss on the top of my head, andIfelt my body relax.Hewas going to listen; he really was.
“Whatthe fuck couldyoupossibly offermeof any value?”
