Icontinued to sob into his shoulder. “Why?”
Hisgrip on me tightened. “Isaw you claw yourself out of his grasp.Itwas small at first.Youwould kiss me so he wouldn’t.Youmoved your body in between mine and his.Isaw how he hurt you for it.ButIsaw you grow bolder.Wedidn’t really know each other then,Pallas, but you did that for me.Notall heroics are grand battles and gestures.“
Jun’sface grew hard. “Iremember the night thatIknew...”Hishands shook, but he went on. “Hadeonhad me performing for his court.Everyonewas there, laughing, drinking, and carrying on as if nothing was wrong.AsifIand dozens of others weren’t enslaved right in front of them.”
Hepaused, swallowing hard. “Youstood near him, looking like you were part of it all.Butyour eyes... your eyes were on me the whole time.Whenhe commanded another song, one thatIhated, one that always drove me deeper into the darkness,Ialmost broke down."Jun'svoice dropped to a whisper. "Butthen,Isaw you step forward slightly.Itwas almost imperceptible to anyone who wasn’t watching.ButIwas.Ialways was.Youcaught his arm and whispered something in his ear.Idon’t know what you said, but he laughed, that cold, hollow laugh.Andthen, he changed his mind.Justlike that.Hechose a different song."
"Iremember,Itold him that the guests would enjoy something livelier, something to lift their spirits.Hedidn’t care about their spirits, of course, but he cared about his image, about appearing magnanimous and benevolent."
Junnodded slowly, his eyes glistening. “Itwas a small thing, so you might say it was nothing.Butto me, it was everything.Youwere protecting me, even at the cost of his wrath."
"Ihad to,"Iwhispered, my voice breaking. "Icouldn’t stand seeing you in pain, being used like... likeIwas."
Juncupped my face gently in his hands, histhumbs wiping away the tears that spilled down my cheeks. "Andthat’s whenIknew,Pallas.Despiteeverything, in the midst of that darkness, you were my light.Idon't hate you."Hisvoice was steady and sincere. "Icould never.Youare one of the bravest peopleIknow.Buthe knew it, too.That’swhy he collared me, you know.Itwas as much to control me as it was to control you.”
“So,Ifailed you again.Icouldn’t even protect you.Ionly made it worse.”
“Noneof this was your fault,Pallas.Youwere trapped just likeIwas.”
“Ilove you,Jun.”Ihadn’t said those words to anyone exceptHadeonsinceIwas a youngling; with him they had become twisted, a plea from me, and ownership from him.ButwhenIsaid them toJun, they felt true again.
Henuzzled his face against mine. “Ilove you too,Pallas.”Itwas true love, but not like in the stories.Ididn’t want him.Wehad never been lovers by choice.Idon’t think he desired that with anyone.Butthat didn’t make it any less valuable, any less strong.
Wecuddled, foreheads pressed together until a soft knock came at the door.
“MayIcome in?”Torisounded the most hesitantIhad ever heard her.
“Thatdepends.Areyou here to convince me thatAbraxasis a good man?”
Sheshook her head. “No, becauseIwon’t convince you of that.ButIcan promise you that will never happen again.”Igave a huff but waved my hand, and she closed the door behind her.
“I’msorry.Youare my guest here, and whatAbraxasdid was inexcusable.”
“Shouldn’the be apologizing to me, then?”
Shenodded. “Yes, butIwasn’t sure if you were ready for that.”Maybethis princesswasstarting to understand me.
“Well,Iam.”Istood swiftly, surprising both her andJun. “I’mdone being a coward.”
Shelooked at where my hand was still entwined withJun’s.Asmile lit her face. “I’mhappy to hear it.”
Chapter 47
Pallas
Istrode into the study, poignantly ignoringAbraxas.Thiswasn’t about him.Thiswas aboutJunand by extension,Tori.IpromisedJunIwould be brave and wouldn’t let him get hurt again.Theonly wayIcould do that was by destroyingHadeon.Hewould never be satisfied until he controlledJun’spower or killed him.
Avlynhad joinedAbraxasand gave me a shy smile.Iwould be brave;Iwould.
“Whatsort of information do you need to fightHadeon?”Iasked the commander.
“Perhaps…”Abraxassaid, the arrogant bastard unwilling to be ignored. “…it is time you share what you know about the enchantment on my father’s heart?”
JunandTorieach squeezed one of my hands.Ilooked across the room at the manIhad considered an enemy for centuries.Aman who had never actually hurt me, whileIstood at the side of one who nearly broke me down into nothing but bones and ash.Icouldn’t look atAbraxaswithout seeing the rivers of blood he’d left behind for centuries.So,Ididn’t.
Ilocked eyes withTori.Herdeep slate-grey stare held me, and she was fierce.Shewas reckless and often quite an idiot, but she loved in a wayIhad forgotten how to.AwayIrealizedIhopedIcould again someday.
TheywereJun’seyes as well.Ilooked at him, and he gave me the smallest smile. “Youcan do this,Pallas,” he encouraged gently.
