“Cyanos…that you?” She was pinned and couldn’t see me. I lifted the appliance off her, and her face was already paler than death.
“Kasan…”
“Your sister—get her out. Get them all out.” She held the very dead baby out to me. “Take them, Cyanos.”
“Mama…”
She pressed the cold, stiff body into my arms.
Her hand came up to my face and I flinched, bracing for the strike. She was so much smaller than me—had been since I was twelve—but my body still carried those memories. Instead, her icy hand cupped my jaw.
“You were always my favorite, you know? My little blue angel.”
She let out one more shuddering breath, and her eyes went dark.
And I didn’t fucking care, as water ran down my face, my eyes burning.
I didn’t fucking care.
I don’t knowhow much time had passed before I finally broke away from that sight. Everything between then and me standing back at ground level, looking up at the neon-infected sky, was black—my mind knowing I had no desire to remember. I looked up at those beams of light, ad after ad after ad, scrolling into the heavens. The world I knew was gone.
I was the most free I’d ever been.
Rain poured down my face, washing away the sins of everything that had happened underground. I could have gone anywhere. Been anyone. I was free—to live with everything I’d done, with all the memories that, if I looked at too closely, would eat me alive.
So I did the only thing I could. The only thing I’d ever done: move forward without looking back. I didn’t know how to feel anything but anger—pure rage. And I knew it would destroy me, burn me to a crisp from the inside out. I needed a conduit. Someone to guide it, just enough, so I could survive another day.
I tapped the black card to the side of my Vysor, and only a few words appeared:
Chuck Texcucano
POM Security
589.3443245.33467
I calledthe number and sold my soul to a new master, rather than suffer infinite possibility alone. I gave in to what I already knew I was.
I had power. And people would always fear me.
That made me the perfect weapon. Something for someone else to control.
A kaijin. A ghost. But never human. Never a man.
CHAPTER 41
EON
I’d slept hard that night—harder than I had in ages. When I woke up, I had DITA make a call.
Now I was standing outside Cy’s apartment building, uninvited…again. But I had to make this move before I lost my nerve. I shot Dev a message.
Me: 5 min out.
Dev: Ready on my side. Why couldn’t I come again?
Me: Guy’s an agoraphobe. Doesn’t like new people.
Dev: Did you tell him everyone likes me?
