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‘Where did you find her?’
Abby smiled. ‘Being a paediatrician has its benefits. I looked after Lucy’s brother a few years ago. She remembered me and offered her services when she heard I was looking for someone.’ Abby turned to face Luke, touching his arm, ‘Luke, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I had a child—I was just about to when he came barrelling through the doors.’ She smiled. ‘He’s a real livewire.’
It was all Luke could do not to pull his arm from hers. Did she really have no idea how he was feeling? How could she be so blasé about this? He gritted his teeth. There was only one question he could ask. ‘So are you going to introduce me to Luke’s dad?’
‘Luke’s dad?’ Abby looked astonished by the question. ‘Well, that would be difficult since I don’t know who he is.’ She carried on looking over a patient’s chart as if she’d just given the most natural answer in the world.
Luke felt as if he was going to explode. She didn’t know who Reuben’s father was? What the hell was going on? Had she just slept with some anonymous stranger? What had happened to the Abby Tyler he’d known?
It took Abby a few seconds to realise that something was wrong. She’d thought Luke had been a little off, but thought it was because she hadn’t told him about Reuben. He’d baulked when she’d told him what age Reuben was, a reaction she hadn’t understood at the time. And then the penny dropped. Hard.
No! He couldn’t possibly think …
She put her head in her hands as she pictured her son in her mind. And then she cringed at the answer she’d just given about Luke’s father. What must he think of her? Did he think she’d slept with the first man that came along?
Everyone here knew her, everyone knew her history and Reuben’s background. But Luke had missed out on a whole chapter of her life. A whole five years.
‘Luke.’ She turned towards him with new eyes. This time she could see the rage that was bubbling under the surface, barely contained. She could see his brain trying to process everything around him—and coming to the wrong conclusion.
She placed her hand on his shoulder and saw him visibly flinch. ‘I think I should explain. It’s not what you think.’
‘Reuben’s four, Abby. You must have got pregnant as soon as you left.’ He spat his words through clenched teeth.
Abby put both of her hands on his shoulders. ‘Look at me, Luke.’ Her voice was calm and steady. She stood square in front of him. ‘Do you really think I’d do that?’
‘It looks like it.’
She pressed down hard on his shoulders. ‘Stop it. Stop it now. You know me. You know I would never do anything like that.’
‘Well, how do you explain Reuben?’
Abby took a deep breath. ‘You didn’t want children, Luke, and I did. So I reassessed my life. I came here …’ she pointed out the window at the ocean view ‘…to this beautiful place because I wanted to raise my children in the best place possible. I applied to adopt as soon as I had secured my position here and had a suitable house. It all takes time, Luke. I got Reuben when he was eighteen months old. I’m not his natural mother.’
‘You adopted him?’ his voice was incredulous. In the maelstrom of thoughts that had bombarded his mind he hadn’t even considered the possibility.
She nodded slowly. ‘It’s best thing I ever did.’ Her voice dropped. ‘His age is just a coincidence.’ She released her grip on his shoulders.
‘Why on earth did you adopt?’
Abby sat down on one of the nearby chairs and crossed her legs. ‘Why wouldn’t I adopt?’
‘Because you’re young, you’re beautiful. You could have come here and met someone else and had a baby of your own. I don’t imagine for a minute that you’ve been short of offers.’
Abby flinched at his blunt words then nodded slowly, ignoring his last comment. ‘Yes, yes, I could have. But I didn’t. I didn’t want to. This is what I wanted to do.’
‘I don’t understand.’ Luke ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.
‘There’s lots of different ways to have a family, Luke.’ Her voice was almost a whisper.
‘But why this way? Why did you choose this way?’
Abby cast her eyes out the window. He was asking difficult questions, but then again he probably felt as if he was entitled to. And if she was going to answer honestly, it was easier not to look at him.
‘I had a dream of having a happy family. But I wanted to have the happy husband to go with the happy family. And it didn’t happen for me. And I realised that families come in all shapes and forms. I didn’t need a husband for my family. Not all families are mom, dad and 2.4 kids. And not all kids are perfect. So I decided it was time to follow my heart.’
She was talking about him. She was talking about him and her. That had been her dream. And he’d ruined it for her. Ruined it by not taking the time to consider the options. Then the entirety of her words struck home. He’d been so focused on the first part of her sentence he hadn’t paid attention to the second.
A chill went down Luke’s spine. Not all kids are perfect. ‘What do you mean?’ He walked across the room and knelt before Abby in her chair. ‘What do you mean, “Not all kids are perfect”? Abby, what’s wrong with Reuben?’
There was silence. The question hung in the air between them. Abby’s eyes were fixed on the floor. He saw her swallow uncomfortably. ‘He has ALL.’ Her voice was barely audible.
This time Luke really did feel as if he’d been punched. That beautiful, bouncy little boy had ALL.
The room was spinning now. Acute lymphoblastic leukemia, the most common type of childhood cancer, the same type that had killed his teenage brother fifteen years ago.
Abby seemed to focus, to gain her perspective. She leaned forward, ‘Luke, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to tell you.’
Her brown eyes were filled with compassion and without a thought he did what seemed the most natural thing in the world and wrapped his arms around her.
‘Oh, Abby, I’m so sorry.’
He could feel her tremble beneath his grip. She leaned her head on his shoulder and took a few deep breaths. He lifted his hand and stroked her blonde hair. They stayed that way for a few moments, Luke still kneeling on the floor with Abby wrapped in his embrace, then he put a hand on either side of her head and lifted it from his shoulder, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.
‘So how is he doing?’
Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. She sat back in her chair but kept hold of Luke’s hand. ‘He’s doing well. He’s been getting treatment for the last two years. You can see he’s a lively little boy.’ She gave nervous laugh. ‘It’s difficult to keep an eye on him. What I really want to do is wrap him up in cotton wool and hide him somewhere, keep him safe from infections and injuries, but that’s just not Reuben. He’s a livewire and I’ve got to let him live his life.’
He clasped her hand even tighter. He could see the conflicting emotions in her face. The parent and the doctor. ‘Did you know he was sick when you adopted him?’
Abby shook her head. ‘He wasn’t initially, but you know how long these things can take. He’d had a medical before the adoption procedures began and everything was fine. He’d already been staying with me for a few months when I started to notice all the classic signs—the bruising, frequent infections and fever—and I just knew.’ Her eyes glassed over. ‘They asked me if I wanted to withdraw, can you imagine?’ She turned to face him. ‘As if I would do that. Then I guess they thought about it and decided who better to have a sick child than a paediatrician?’
Her voice wobbled. ‘He was mine, Luke. From the first time I set eyes on him he was mine.’ She broke her gaze from his, embarrassed by her reactions. Luke was the person who didn’t want children, so he couldn’t possibly understand how she felt.
‘I didn’t want to tell you about Reuben. I didn’t want to bring back bad memories for you about Ryan.’
Ryan. She’d said it. The name cut straight through to his heart like a knife, a knife that plunged in to the hilt and was then twisted around. His brother. The little brother he’d played with, laughed with and shared everything with. They’d been inseparable, probably due to the fact that their parents had seemed to have so little time for them. The life of a senator and his wife was never quiet. So they’d depended on each other entirely. And Luke had let him down.
He squeezed her hand. ‘Most memories of Ryan are good,’ he said quietly.
She smoothed her ruffled hair back into place and put on a bright smile. It was obvious she was trying to clear her head. ‘Did you bring an overnight bag with you?’
‘What?’ Luke started, still lost in thoughts of his brother and the life that had been stolen from him.
‘A bag, Luke. Did you bring a bag with you?’
He nodded. ‘I was due to speak at a conference and had my bag packed for that. It must still be stuck in the back of one of the secret-service cars.’
‘Well, why don’t you go and find it? You’ll need it for tonight if you’re staying at my place.’ She turned and headed towards the door. ‘And, Luke …’ she gave him a little smile ‘…go and grab some scrubs, will you? I don’t want you parading about my house in your usual nightwear—I’ve got a four-year-old, remember?’ And with that parting shot she disappeared out the door, leaving Luke to stare out over the waves breaking in Pelican Cove.
He stood for a few minutes, watching the sea. The irony of all this was that Ryan would have loved living in a place like this. And if he’d got sick a few years further down the line, there would have been more effective treatments, with better options and outcomes for the patients. Ryan could maybe have fulfilled his dream to be a surfer. He’d been the cleverest in the family by a mile. Naturally clever. One of these kids that had hardly needed to study and just sucked in information from all around them. But what he’d really wanted was to be a jock.
