I pushed out of his arms.
“I need to sit down,” I said weakly.
Chapter Ten
Sylvie
Kenai guided me to the oversized armchair by the fire while Taimyr disappeared into the kitchen, returning with a glass of water that I accepted gratefully. My hands were still shaking.
“This is a lot to process,” I admitted, taking a sip. “I mean, I just—we just—and now you’re telling me you want to mate with me?”
“Sylvie, like I said, it’s not about want.”
I looked into his eyes, and there was no lie. God, I don’t even do normal relationships. How am I supposed to handle whatever this is?
Taimyr and Kenai must’ve seen the panic in my gaze, because they exchanged a look.
“Maybe,” Taimyr said carefully, “I should give you some space. This is too much, too fast.”
“Tai—” Kenai started.
“No, he’s right.” I pulled a blanket into my lap. “I need to think. I need to—” Another wave of heat rolled through me, making my breath catch. “Okay, maybe I can’t think right now, but I need…I don’t know what I need.”
Taimyr squeezed Kenai’s shoulder. “I’ll go check the perimeter, make sure we’re secure. Take your time.” He looked at me with those dark, knowing eyes. “For what it’s worth, Sylvie, you’re not a homewrecker. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.”
Then he was gone, leaving me alone with Kenai and the crackling fire.
The silence stretched between us, broken only by the pop and hiss of the flames. I tucked my feet underneath me, trying to organize my scattered thoughts.
“I’m sorry,” Kenai said finally. “I should’ve explained everything before we?—”
“I didn’t leave you much choice.”
He flinched. “You’ve never experienced a heat before. You’re human—you shouldn’t be dealing with it at all. I don’t blame you for being a little out of control.”
I couldn’t stop the tears that rose to my eyes. So being in heat was like ovulating and being on your period at the same damn time. Why couldn’t I stop crying?
“That’s all I’ve ever had—my control. Making sure everything around me was just right. But ever since I met you, everything has been completely out of control.”
Kenai knelt in front of me and gently wiped away my tears, his thumbs cradling my face. “Yes, I know this must be overwhelming.” He gave me that grin that had me melting even more than I already was. “But you’re not alone in this. I’ve neverbeen so attracted to a human before either, and everything about your kind is confusing.” His eye lit up, grin lopsided, and I knew he was trying to cheer me up.
It almost worked.
“So, you think it’s good—what happened?”
His grin dropped into a scowl. “I never wanted this to happen to you, for you to be in pain or come to harm. But I can’t deny that it forced my hand in a way I might’ve hesitated to before, and I have no regrets about what happened between us. About how I feel.”
“How can you say that so easily? You hardly know me.”
Kenai was quiet for a long moment before he dropped his head, his antlers catching the firelight. “I have to be honest with you Sylvie. I…was looking into you before we met.”
He looked up at me with such big, sad eyes that I didn’t even have time to be upset about it. “It’s not what you think. Gods, everything I’ve told you today probably makes you think—but the truth is, it was just your career. Please, hear me out.”
I wrapped the blanket tighter around myself but nodded, listening.
“I think you’ve caught on to our struggles, how we’re trying to get better conditions for working at the North Pole. But the truth is, this fight has been ongoing for decades, and we haven’t made any progress. There’s no one in the magical world willing to go against the North Pole. They’re too powerful—the biggest and most influential magical entity there is.”
He let out a sharp huff. “Old Jólnir has always been a crafty one, and he realized that in order to maintain his magical superiority with the changing times, he needed to embed himself in the human world. Humans are the source of all magic, even if they can’t use it. Their emotions, their feelings, their…” Kenai trailed off for a moment. “Their ability to love so deeply. That’s what powers magic—and I think you know Christmas is a timefull of all kinds of emotions. He drives that with his mythos and, as such, controls the flow of the majority of magic.”
