AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Last week he’d walked around the empty stables. He’d never had a horse. Horses had been his mother’s love. But it seemed such a shame that perfectly good stables and paddock were empty.
He’d spent the afternoon nursing a beer, sitting near the orchard and letting the smells of the fruit drift around him.
Today he’d walked over to meet his neighbours. Their children had grown rapidly and it was clear they’d added another as a pram was parked at their front door. He’d welcomed the family’s noise around him as they’d chatted about future plans for the orchard.
Tonight he was watching the lake. There were a few boats out there, a few people fishing along the shore. He’d never been much of a fisherman and preferred to just sit with his legs swinging from the dock, contemplating whether he should take a look at the fire pit.
He hadn’t turned his phone back on. There was always the chance that Gibbs would call again. He was sure Gabrielle would have called and that made his chest hurt. He wouldn’t hide from Gabrielle—not like he’d hidden from this. But a few weeks in Oregon wouldn’t fix him. It was just the first steps of a process. The thoughts of a counsellor were now chasing around his head. Some people would classify not dealing with grief as a kind of depression.
Sullivan had thought about it and didn’t want to go down a medication route—not even for his lack of sleep. He wanted to deal with this in his own way.
He turned around the looked at the house. The lights were on inside, giving it a warm glow in the dimming evening light. He liked it that way. Any minute now his dad would appear, fold his arms, lean on the doorjamb and ask who was making dinner.
His mouth dried instantly. He took another swig of beer from the chilled bottle in his hand. The memories would always be there. The last thing he wanted to do was chase them away. What he had to learn to do now was let them warm him, instead of leaving him feeling cold.
The emptiness that had been there the last three years didn’t seem quite so hollow now.
Gabrielle.
His father would have adored her. He wouldn’t quite have believed that Sullivan had not only met a beautiful, courageous fellow doctor but that she’d actually been a secret royal. His father would have spent a lifetime teasing him about that.
Would his father have thought him worthy of Gabrielle? Now he’d started the healing process he could finally be more positive. His father would have encouraged him to find love. Wherever it was.
He looked down at the water rippling around his feet. There was something so reassuring about knowing that the two people he’d loved most in this world would probably have loved each other too. He could picture them all, sitting around the neglected fire pit while his father told her stories of long-ago missions and his clashes with a few well-known characters.
This morning he’d found a black velvet box tucked inside one of his father’s shoes. Another of his quirks. It held a ring—a square emerald with a diamond on either side. There had been a tiny folded-up piece of paper inside with his father’s writing.
Sullivan—for whoever the next Mrs Darcy might be.
That was all it had said. Nothing more. They’d never had a conversation about his mother’s engagement ring. He’d always assumed his mother had been wearing it when she’d been buried. His father had never mentioned it. Never asked if he was planning on having a wife, or a family. Never put any pressure on his son. But the thoughts had obviously been there.
He’d left the ring in the shoe for now. There was only one finger he’d ever want to put it on. And a princess like Gabrielle would probably have a huge amount of jewellery that would be worth so much more.
But when the time was right, he would use the ring to ask the question.
He just wasn’t sure when that would be.
* * *
Gabrielle was beyond tired. The voice on the satnav was grating. Honestly, if she could meet the person who had that voice, chances were she’d close her hands around their throat. How could you take the next road on the right when it didn’t exist?
She’d finally turned it off and just gone with her instincts. Oregon was so much bigger than she’d anticipated, the scenery unexpected.
Rolling green hills, deep valleys, lakes and trees—everywhere. It took some time to get her bearings. The road was lined with trees. There was a calmness about this country, something that just seemed so right.
After about a mile she could see the house ahead emerging through the trees. It was large but inviting, set on the shore of a lake. Her heart leapt in her chest. Even from here she could see the orange lights and the figure sitting on the dock, nursing a beer.
Everything she had ever wanted.
That was her first thought. That was her only thought.
But did he want her?
His head tilted as he heard the noise of the car. He didn’t get up, just stayed where he was, smiling.
She pulled the car up outside the house and opened the door. The warm Oregon air surrounded her, welcoming her, while her stomach did huge somersaults.
In her head she would have liked a chance to change and reapply her lipstick. But the world had a different idea. So she pulled her wrinkled yellow patterned dress from her thighs and let the air drift around her.
She wasn’t as terrified as she’d been before. Just being near Sullivan had that effect on her. Even without a word being spoken.
She strolled over to where he sat.
‘Hi.’ She might not be terrified, but she was still nervous.
‘Hi.’ There was warmth in his eyes. Calmness.
‘Got another one of those?’
‘I might have.’ He leaned down into the lake at his feet and pulled up another bottle of beer from the water, knocking the cap off on the side of the dock.
She smiled as she kicked off her sandals and sat down next to him, letting out a gasp as her toes touched the water.
He laughed. ‘I keep it a special temperature—all for cooling beer.’
‘I think you do.’ Now she was here, all the great speeches and declarations she’d conjured up in her head seemed to drift up into the purple clouds above them, floating off and laughing at her.
‘How are you?’ It seemed the best way to start.
He went to answer immediately then stopped. She watched him while her heart played around in her chest. ‘I haven’t found out yet,’ he answered.
She nodded and took a swig from the chilled beer bottle. It was a welcome relief after the long hours of travel. ‘Neither have I,’ she agreed.
He glanced at her curiously. ‘What have you been up to?’
There was no animosity. Just curiosity. He’d obviously wondered what had been happening since he’d left.
She stared out across the lake, reflecting a myriad of colours from the setting sun above. ‘You haven’t seen the news?’
He gave a half-laugh. ‘Haven’t you heard? I’ve put myself in solitude for a while.’ He held up his hands. ‘Consider this a media-free zone.’
She looked from side to side. ‘Seems you picked a prime location.’
He nodded appreciatively. ‘I certainly did.’
They sat in silence for a few seconds. It was beautiful here. She hadn’t really taken the time to picture this place in her head at all. There hadn’t been time. But now she was here? It was like their own little private haven. Secluded from all but a select few.
She pressed her lips together and gave a kind of wry smile.
‘I caused a bit of a stir.’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘What now?’
His rich voice sent pulses through her body. She locked gazes with him. ‘I might have declared that I love you on TV.’
His eyebrows rose. ‘You what?’
She stared at her beer for a second. Talkin
g into the camera had seemed easier than this. Impersonal. It wasn’t impersonal now.
‘I decided some things were worth fighting for.’
His eyes widened and he stared. ‘I’m not sure I’m worth fighting for yet.’
She could see confusion in his eyes. Self-doubt.
She held up her hands. ‘You’re here. You’ve taken the first step. Let me take the walk with you.’
She could see him swallow. He took a long time to answer. ‘I want to tell you something, Gabrielle. I don’t have a single doubt in my head or heart how I feel about you. I love you, I know that.’ He pressed his hand against his chest. ‘But I’ve shut out some things for so long that I feel unreliable. I’ve spent so long not feeling that it seems as though I have to deal with myself first before I try to move forward.’
She nodded. He’d said the words. He’d said the words she wanted to hear. She should be skipping. She should be happy. And she knew he was sincere. But she also understood.
‘Why now?’
He nodded and gave her a rueful kind of smile. ‘I guess I wasn’t ready before. I think I probably didn’t have someone to fight for. I was too busy pushing things away, wallowing, I suppose. I hate myself for that.’
She could see the self-contempt on his face. But he wanted to fight for her. That made her want to sing and shout to the world. ‘It’s called grief, Sullivan. Don’t hate yourself. I have something to fight for too. You. Us. This is where I want to be. I love you too.’ She held up her hands and smiled. ‘I’ve told the world.’
She slid her fingers through his, intertwining their hands above his heart.
He met her gaze with his pale green eyes. ‘I’m here. But I won’t feel better overnight. I have some work to do.’
She nodded. ‘And I’ll be by your side.’ She smiled and tilted her head to the side. ‘You saved me, Sullivan. You saved me when I needed it most. You saved me when I was ready to walk away and forget everything. You helped me see that I could do both jobs.’ She closed her eyes for a second. ‘Hopefully, well.’ Then she shook her head. ‘But I don’t want to do either of them without you. The last three weeks have clarified that for me. I care, Sullivan. I want you to feel well. I want you to get the help you need to say goodbye to your dad.’ She reached over and touched his cheek. ‘And something you don’t know about me is that I’m patient. I can wait.’
