“Well, yes,” I admitted grumpily. So many of Luke’s mood and actions really worked for me and that was all his fault! He could try being less attractive, but no, never mind, that wouldn’t be as good for me. “Are we doing this or not?” I asked impatiently while wondering if annoyed-at-me Luke or confident Luke was the hotter Luke.
“Wow, can you make it more sexy babe?” Luke joked. “Don’t think that’s possible.”
Yeah, I’m a broken record, so maybe the teasing would be right up my alley, just like everything seemed to be when it came to Luke Chambers, but the words themselves made me a bit self-conscious. Like it wasn’t us being terrible at this suddenly but just me being terrible at this.
“We’re so bad at this,” I lamented, including him too just so I didn’t have to be terrible by myself.
“Really?” Ugh, he was so sweet. He sounded almost surprised.
“Are you turned on right now?” I questioned. Then I glared at the fingers of the hand not holding the phone because they had crossed themselves without my permission.
“I’m not… not turned on.” He sounded hesitant. Maybe he had the good looks for the big screen, but he’d be firmly behind the scenes if that was the best acting he could muster.
I sighed. “See, what would be the point of the script if you wouldn’t even be able to sell it?”
“No, I mean it.” And oh, maybe his hesitance a moment ago wasn’t because he was making a terrible attempt to reassure me. This time I could detect a note of embarrassment in his voice. “You being you is… that’s okay.” Why would he be embarrassed about that? “You’re always annoying as hell and I still want to kiss you.” Oh, because he was so far gone for me. That was… really great. Even when he continued with, “Half because I just want to kiss you and half to shut you up. I’m always attracted and annoyed by you.” Maybe that should go on my tombstone. “Why should it be any different now?”
“You say the sweetest things, babe.” Wait, I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. “But really, keep going. What comes next?” Maybe this could work. To heighten the mood, I imagined a confident Luke and an annoyed Luke fighting with their shirts off to see who was hotter and then they made out a little, just for fun.
Only Luke had to contradict me again. “I don’t know what comes next.” Dammit. “Why don’t you say something? Am I supposed to do all the work?”
“Why ask a question you already know the answer to?” I countered sweetly.
“Think this should be a two-way street.” Oh, Luke needing my help, there was a new contender in the hotness contest.
“Okay, I’m participating, I’m participating.” I cleared my throat. That was unsexy, but it was too late now, so I barreled onward. “I’m totally naked.” Not really but that was correct answer after all.
“Alright, go on.” Oh, the purr was back in his voice.
“And I’m doing jumping jacks,” I continued… I’m an idiot.
There was a pause. “Why?” he asked timidly, like he wasn’t sure he really wanted to know.
“I’m not really, I’m just trying to paint a picture.” A stupid picture.
“Again, why?” Luke asked again.
“I don’t know.” I buried my head in my comforter for a minute and screamed. “Seemed like a good idea at the time, being specific.” Okay, let’s move on. “What do you want?” I obviously couldn’t do this on my own. Then, I felt the need to clarify. “Like fantasy wise, not for lunch.”
“I want us to have sex and for it not to be bad,” Luke told me promptly. More honesty than I needed again.
“Too on the nose,” I informed him while I tried not to pray for death.
“Um, we could try complimenting each other?” he suggested.
“You’re hot,” I told Luke.
“And you say that all the time.” Rude. Not wrong but rude.
“The only difference between you in my head and you in real life is I’m not weeping out of joy and there’s no choir of angels singing.” Guess that was more romantic or something, but I often needed to tell the world of Luke’s hotness, so I was usually more succinct. Hot, hot, hot. Luke was hot like burning.
“Thanks babe.” He sounded embarrassed but pleased.
“Your turn,” I prompted. Could he compliment me? He didn’t often, but to be fair, I would make such a gigantic deal out of it all the time if he did. I didn’t want to make a hypothesis like with Lydia because if I guessed no or the answer turned out to be no, that would just make me sad.
“I don’t have any complaints,” Luke said. That wasn’t an insult… Wasn’t a compliment either. His Yelp review of me was three stars. Average.
Okay, he was the one who was ruining it this time. “No complaints? That would be higher praise if it was me saying that but it’s not so—"
