2. New and Exciting Ways for Things to Go Wrong
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. And also? Ugh.
Ryan
I never imagined how my first time would go. I have a weird mix of self-confidence and knowing who I am, so while I am the greatest ever and lesser mortals should bow down before me, I also didn’t want to imagine all the ways my first time could go wrong and then jinx myself. I hoped no one started screaming or passed out and that nobody caught on fire. Not sure these things were very likely when having sex, but still, had to set realistic expectations.
But it would be fine. I had the right guy and it was the right time. Sort of.
Joey Wilson’s room smelled faintly of beef jerky and wet dog, and he’d only slept on these sheets once or twice, so that was practically freshly laundered for him. The important part was that I was here and Luke was here and this was finally happening.
And then it happened.
Maybe this was a good thing. Life couldn’t go perfectly forever. Had it been going perfectly? Maybe not but it seemed like it. That was usually how Luke Chambers made me feel. Things were bound to go the other way eventually. It was just my luck this would be thing that went badly.
“I was really tired, okay?” Luke spoke into the silence.
“Oh god, don’t do that.” I buried my face in my hands. At least Luke was making it more awkward now and not me. If I’d been taking bets, I would have really put my money on me making it worse. Good thing I didn’t because I already had enough going wrong right now.
“It’s true,” he insisted. I could feel his glare rather than see it and part of me wanted to be proud, because A+ glare game baby, but if I tried to tell him that, I’d have to look at him and then I’d be looking at him and it was too soon. “I’ve been working all week!”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because I’m not a complete idiot. When are we gonna get this opportunity again?”
“Yeah, not for a while, way to bring that up.” I wanted to throw the covers over my face and hide but I also wanted death to take me swiftly, so I should probably be recognizable and visible in order for the Grim Reaper to find me.
“Like you didn’t know you were leaving tomorrow.” Luke probably meant me and not the ceiling he was speaking to.
“That’s the least of our worries now. This is. We’re…” Doomed. No! Ah! Things were going so well, and leaving on a high note was awesome, and it would make us want to get back to being awesome together as soon as I came back. Leaving on an awkward note? Unfortunately, it sucked but was much more realistic.
“Hey wait, don’t get—” Luke tried to get my attention, turning towards me.
“What, don’t get how I get? I am so kicking you out of bed. You’re on the couch tonight.” Bantering was familiar ground. Sort of. Speaking of the ground, if it could swallow me whole anytime now and remove me from this situation, that would be great.
“Neither of us are actually sleeping in this bed,” my boyfriend pointed out. “I’ll be in my bed.”
“You can’t even give me this?” I asked the air over his head with a long-suffering sigh.
“This isn’t our house.”
Right, we were actually at Joey’s. Our parents were way cooler with us being together but not enough to let us have sex under their roof, so. Maybe this was a good thing. I had been crazy about Luke, almost literally certifiably insane, to the point where I was jumping on couches and yelling off rooftops and ready to drink poison. This was a reality check.
We were both human. And this wasn’t an omen of how things were going to go from now on. We would be fine. This didn’t mean anything. We would handle this. The moment stretched on, never-ending as we stewed in awkwardness. It had been… Well.
Being so close to a person, and there was no sound but our breaths. It wasn’t like movies or TV shows where everything went smoothly and there was music in the background. Stupid Hollywood giving me unrealistic expectations.
Gory details? I don’t kiss and tell!
….
Yeah, I can’t even pretend that’s true. I don’t know… Somehow I almost elbowed him in the face like three times. And once for real. He fell asleep on my chest for a moment and startled back awake and his head knocked into my jaw. I giggled nervously way more than I would have liked and shouted in his ear every time I tried to whisper.
We seriously got, like, zero alone time together usually, so we were just happy to be naked and in a bed together and were pretty tame all things considered. And even being tame was too much for us to handle! We mostly, uh, to use dumb hetero baseball terminology, no nevermind, that’s dumb and hetero, no bases. But Luke likes baseball, so uh, something with bats, so to speak,and our hands?
Why am I trying to talk sports? Me no speak sports.
We didn’t have lube, for the bats, but Luke insisted we needed it because that’s what he’d seen in all the gay porn he ever watched, which was actually pretty hot. Did Luke and I watch the same gay porn? But he got so embarrassed about mentioning it that he put a pillow over his face while I had to brave Joey’s room looking for lubricant as I wondered if I had to call it gay porn or could just say porn. I understood why Luke needed to clarify, but me not so much.
