Then again…
Joanne was watching me calmly, waiting for me to make up my mind.
I’m gonna shoot a freaking gun.
I reminded myself to focus so many times that Joanne stopped commenting when I did it out loud, but then she told me to keep breathing instead of talking and. The nerves and jitters faded, then came back, then faded again.
Don’t know what I’d been expecting, but it wasn’t a video game, point and shoot. We went through it once, then again. Maybe in more detail than necessary.
Not to me, but potentially more than was required for the safe discharge of a firearm. Yeah, I knew how to put words together like safe discharge of a firearm now. She showed me how to take the gun apart and put it back together again, but not in an intense way where those were the guns we’d actually be using.
She showed me some of the different types of guns from her collection and talked me through the stance and what to expect and watch for, correcting my posture, instructing me through it. Don’t know how long it took, but the sun was fully up and it didn’t feel crazy by the time I actually took a shot.
I had safety glasses on, I stood in the correct place, I waited for Joanne to be a safe distance away. I kept breathing until my body stopped twitching with nerves. I aimed and fired.
Kablamo!
I yelled that as the first shot rang out in the air, hopefully drowning out that I needed to make that noise. So crazy to have so much power in my hands, to feel it through my body. I have no idea if I’m for or against guns, probably more cons than pros, if I’m ever going to do this again, but I was in the market for new experiences and this sure as hell qualified.
We sat on a dock at the lake later, eating sandwiches and waiting for Luke and my dad to come back.
“What made you think of this?” I asked her.
“Your dad told me about you trying new things this year. This is something you haven’t done before. Something a lot of people here have done.”
I frowned. “You want me to be like everyone else?” That would really suck.
“No, but you wanted rites of passage, yeah?” She gestured around us. “Town like this, nothing qualifies more than learning to shoot. I figured, I can’t control your feelings toward me, but I can make this day memorable.”
“My life motto.” Guess we had stuff in common.
“Typically the opposite of mine.” Oh maybe not. She looked at the water as she spoke, words coming easily. “Always been a play it safe person. Never spent beyond my means. Always put some funds aside for savings, building a nest egg.”
“Are you rich? I’m not above you buying my love.” Mostly joking. Mostly.
She shook her head. “I don’t have a fortune or anything, but my husband and I managed to save enough to retire comfortably.” She was a bit older than my dad, he had some time before retirement age, but having insanity for a son definitely aged him up some. “We just never thought about what to do when we got to the part where we could relax.”
Yeah, maybe they should have put some thought into that. Because coming here? So not what I would have picked.
She looked at me and smiled, like she could read my thoughts. “This was his dream, having a farm like his grandpa, his role model growing up.” Her tone turned a little melancholy, a sad smile on her face. “He didn’t get to enjoy it for very long though before it was over.” Before he passed away. “That’s, uh, a lesson about something.” She laughed. “Not sure what, but definitely something.”
I made a noise of agreement. Carpe diem. Seize the Luke.
Yeah, that’s not what carpe diem means but close enough. It’s about life being short, living in the moment, YOLO, so seize the Luke now while you had the chance.
“I kept the farm after he died,” Joanne continued. “Found I liked the simple life. With shooting, it’s exciting and it seems unpredictable and wild, but there’s also concern and care involved. You gotta know what you’re doing and be deliberate. It’s the best of both worlds. Chaos and order, all in one.”
“Shockwave created through deflagration propels a projectile,” I added helpfully.
“What?” Joanne looked at me like I maybe switched from English to a different language, but I still didn’t know French.
I shrugged. “That’s the science behind it.”
“Oh, okay. That’s one part of it. The part you can describe. But the feeling? It’s just something you have to experience for yourself.”
Pew, pew, pew. Bang. Kablamo. Okay, guess those weren’t descriptions. They were sounds.
I was real proud of myself for trying this, for managing to not shoot anyone in the foot or the anything else. That was cool. The not so cool part was guns were loud, gunpowder didn’t smell great, and weapons had the potential to hurt people.
