“We’re a team,” Sam continued, nodding along with Zach even though Zach wasn’t nodding. “No one wants to think badly of any of the rest of the guys.”
Had they met Zach? But he didn’t comment on that. He said, “Mmhmm, brother in arms, camaraderie, etcetera.”
Joey and the sophomore rolled their eyes at Zach.
Sam wasn’t discouraged. “This an issue we’ve been putting off for too long,” he told Zach and Joey seriously, placing a hand on the elliptical handle as he stood near the machine while the other guys nodded. “It’s not going away.”
“Have you tried stain remover?” My jackass friend asked him seriously.
Sam laughed. He had never been good at telling when Zach was sincere or having fun at his expense. The trick was to always assume Zach was mocking you. “Right, a stain. That’s what it is.”
While I didn’t know quite what the hell was going on, I got a bad feeling in my gut. The same feeling when certain players bat during a baseball game. There are hitters that seem to be made of pure power, who walk up to the plate and stare me down. They’re trying to psych me out, but I also get the feeling they aren’t bluffing, they’re going to be trouble.
I was getting that feeling now.
“I just tried to put it out of my mind,” the sophomore said. “It’s like—” he paused, searching for the right way to explain it. They just said a stain! They really didn’t need to—
“A bad dream you can’t wake up from,” the junior suggested. He was the most likely on the team to get trampled by a herd of zebras, but I wasn’t thinking about that now.
“Or a weird smell that won’t go away,” the sophomore tried again. He leaned back on the resistance machine for a second, then it moved under his weight, and he stepped away.
“Chickenpox,” Sam offered.
And then they looked to Zach for his own comparison.
“Pringles,” Zach suggested. “Mental Pringles.”
“Uh, sure,” Sam agreed hesitantly. Again,alwaysassume Zach was mocking you. “Yeah, actually,” the right fielder amended, jumping on that train enthusiastically. “You try not to think about it, but then once you do, you can’t stop.” Once you pop, you can’t stop popping, which I never got because how do you pop a chip? Wouldn’t crumbs get everywhere?
“This must have been very difficult for you,” Zach told the group in a tone I didn’t trust at all. “Given how you can’t stop thinking of it.” See, mocking.
Sam’s face turned red. “Don’t mean it like that!” He looked defensive for a moment, then made an effort to shrug it off.
Maybe they were meeting up because they didn’t like my slider.
Or they thought I was too aggressive when stopping runners from stealing a base and we didn’t need to take unnecessary risks when we were championship contenders.
Possibly they wanted me to talk to the third baseman about his dyed green hair, which was stupid, but we were in the off season. I already told some of the other guys Ted could do whatever he wanted with his hair. I’d worry about it later if need be.
Come on, please let this be about anything else. Had to be. Couldn’t be about me being bi. The guys had gotten used to that. It was over.
“It gets to me and the other guys,” Sam said. “Him being the one to lead the team.” The bad feeling from before returned and intensified. “Representing us, it’s not right.” The bad feeling had little bad feeling babies and they were all dancing around and having a party in my stomach. “He’s your best friend, but I know you feel the same way.”
The music the bad feelings were dancing to stopped abruptly. What?
“Um,” Joey cut in. I agreed. Um. “I’m not sure about this.” Thank god.
“It’s a new year,” Sam spoke like a politician trying to rally his followers, giving Joey a kind smile and not blaming him for being slow on the uptake. Joey was normally slow on the uptake. “We don’t have to go along with this anymore.” Go along with it? As in, they weren’t really okay with it but had pretended to be?
“Okay, but—” The catcher tried to interrupt.
“It’s time for a change,” Sam said.
“Yeah, about that—” Joey started.
“Got a point there,” Zach admitted, giving Joey a significant look. He kept saying things he didn’t normally say.
“Great, I told some of the newer guys we could trust you.” Sam clapped Zach on the back with one hand and gestured to the underclassmen with the other hand, silently saying,see, what did I tell you?“We’re all on the same page.”
