“No,” I said to Zach’s brother. “I’m, uh, invisible?” Oh. My. God.
Brother of Zach looked at me pointedly, his stare contradicting my claim of invisibility.
I tried again. “This is a dream!” Nope, he just kept watching me. “I’m not robbing you,” I reassured him, nodding profusely. Maybe it wasn’t very reassuring.
“You have keys in your hand,” he pointed out. Think his name was Aaron, but I wasn’t sure and didn’t want to make this even worse by getting his name wrong. “You’re trying to steal a car?”
“No, of course not.” I can totally stop there. I will stop there. Ryan, don’t say more. “I don’t even know what stealing is,” I said next, saying more. “So how could I do that? What was it even called again? Stalling?” Perhaps there was some of that too.
“Whatever you’re doing, seems like you’re figuring it out.” The guy almost smirked. Wow, the resemblance to Zach got stronger. “I should probably call the police.”
Ah! Everybody be cool! And they had been taking this whole robbery thing so well until now.
“Look, I’m a friend of Zach’s,” I told him quickly. “This is just a prank.”
Guy Maybe Named Aaron considered me. “You’re not on the baseball team.”
“No—" I started while clutching the keys tighter in my hand so I wouldn’t panic, throw them, and then run away. That would be my backup plan.
“You’re not on the baseball teamandyou’re weird,” he reasoned, looking pointedly at my all black ensemble. “I doubt you and Zach are friends.”
“That’s so rude!” Now I wanted to throw the keys out of spite.
“You’re the one stealing my brother’s car.” God, how long was he gonna bring that up for?
“We’re just playing a prank, I swear,” I tried to reassure him. “I would bribe you, but I don’t have any money.” It’s the thought that counts?
“Feel like I shouldn’t let this happen,” Possibly Aaron said but didn’t sound very sure. If this was a legit emergency, he might be in trouble because his response seemed to be just watching and seeing what would happen.
That meant I could win him over. With my charms! There was a first time for everything. “Yeah, Zach’s your brother but the thing is…” I had nothing. “I mean, he’s alsoZach, you know?”
The guy smiled. “Yeah, I know.” He thought for a moment.
I crossed all my fingers and considered trying to cross the rest of my body parts. Zach wasn’t the easiest guy to get along with, but on the other hand, he was also difficult to get along with. I really enjoyed that about him.
“Okay,” Zach’s brother decided. “I wanna see how this turns out.”
“Awesome!” I yelled. And then winced.
“You’re so bad at this,” Potentially Aaron laughed.
In the retelling of this, and as far as I’m concerned, this part of the plan all went perfectly and without a hitch.
* * *
“Okay,” Luke said after a moment.
Oh! We were starting! Crap, I didn’t have anything to take notes with. Should I take notes?
“So, like,” he tried. “This is a car.” He gestured all around us, to the car we were in. “Windows, steering wheel, buttons for the radio. Car.” He motioned with his hands again. “Car.”
I didn’t need to write that down. “And which finger am I holding up?” I asked him, raising my hands and showing him two fingers, the same one on each hand.
“The middle,” he replied dutifully. “You don’t really use them specifically while—” He sent me an unimpressed look. “Oh, I get it.”
“Thanks for letting me know I can lose some fingers and still operate a vehicle, but let’s assume I’m a person and have experienced things like a car and steering wheels and windows before.” See, those instructions? Way more helpful than his.
He shrugged and made a helpless noise. “I’ve never taught anyone this.”
