“However,” Zach continued. “Having to spend more time here when instructing,” he looked at us pointedly and trailed off.
“Is the extra touch that gets us caught,” I filled in.
Zach shook his head sadly. “Luke, things like this are better when I plan them.”
“I can be good at plans!” I said. If I had a plan to make things worse, totally aced it.
Predictably, Zach took issue with that. “Adding insult to injury by trying to suggest you’re as good or better than me at plans.” A pause. “Or anything.”
“Are you almost done?” Luke asked. Aww, he was making things not better too. It was nice of him to take Zach’s focus off me.
“You’ve done this before,” Zach told him. “We’ve both done this before with Joey, and he managed not to screw it up—”
“Rude, bro!” Joey called from the house.
“I really don’t think Ryan should be that much of a handicap,” he continued in his typical withering way.
“That’s ableist!” Joey called out from the house.
Luke and I glanced at each other, wondering if we could get away while Zach questioned Joey about how he knew what ableist meant. We probably shouldn’t risk a daring escape. We did get caught trying to play a joke at Zach’s expense. We deserved this. Getting out of the car and stopping Zach’s right to be a dramatic bitch would only earn more fury.
“As fun as your failure is,” Zach talked, focusing on us again. It really did look like fun for him. “I’m also disappointed.” He spoke to Luke. “Did you learn nothing from me? Was Ryan’s lack of charm too distracting? At the very least, you could have thought of the ways you’ve been successful at this before and then prepared for Ryan ruining it all.”
Huh, that. I didn’t like that.
“Aside from your boyfriend, the amazing giant spaz,” Zach continued, and okay I almost liked that and shouldn’t smile, now was the time for a sad face. “It never ceases to amaze me how you can do something a thousand times and still screw it up.” I didn’t have to fake a sad face anymore. “Don’t unbuckle your seat belt, Luke Chambers. You stay there and hang on my every word. Uh, Ryan?”
I got out of the car. I saw Zach’s incredulous, righteously angry look and just… walked away.
Something he said bugged me. This wasn’t fun anymore. Not that it was ever fun after the moment Zach showed up. I just couldn’t do this now. The Amazing Giant Spaz needed some space.
Luke’s voice was tight and angry. “You went too far, man.”
“No, I didn’t,” he responded instantly, then thought about it. “I mean, I could have in theory, and I do know how to apologize if I absolutely have to. I’m just skeptical because I’ve said way worse things to Ryan within the last 24 hours.”
I stopped paying attention as I walked away. They kept talking or they didn’t. Maybe they started dancing for some reason or kissing. I was tempted to turn back and check if they were kissing. I might not be okay with that, but I also wanted to see it.
I kept going.
Pranking provided an effective distraction. Hadn’t been too hard to forget all the stuff with my Dad this time. The thrill of it all blocked out everything else. Just, hearing all the times Luke had done all this before. This was my list of stuff I’d never done before. Maybe that’s what made it seem important.
What if it wasn’t? What if none of this was important? College was coming soon and just.
This all seemed like it mattered but what if it didn’t? Yeah, maybe I’d have a few good memories to look back on from time to time before I moved on and stopped reminiscing. Right now wasn’t right now, it was a funny story I’d tell to someone who matters present tense in the future, and these stories were about people who mattered right now in the present but soon that could change.
Things would be different at college next year.
Everything seemed important when it was happening but that didn’t mean it was.
Maybe I was living in my past and just hadn’t realized it yet.
13. What Senior Year Means
The beginning of the end.
Luke
Ryan had kind of wandered off on his own and I followed behind him. He was pretty fast, so I didn’t spend time going and getting my car. As I kept walking, maybe that had been a mistake. But then I saw the park near Zach’s house and that seemed like a good place to go when you were on foot and walking aimlessly, so I tried it.
