Off roading is less fun in government vehicles.
I learned this the hard way.
“Watch out for the trees!
“There are treeseverywhere.”
“You don’t have to hit all of them!”
Driving an armored boat of a vehicle through valleys of trees and uneven terrain wasn’t easy, but we eventually arrived at our destination. The fancy cabin with dark wood was more like a mini mansion in the middle of nowhere, too large to completely blend into the surrounding forest.
… If anybody asked, that scratch on the back passenger side door had always been there.
"Should I do the talking?” Lysander Temple wondered. “If your voice is hoarse."
I shot my partner a funny look. Merritt’s office was soundproofed.
"You were in there for a long time with the blinds shut,” he reasoned. “You always yell at each other when the blinds are shut."
Aspiriteddiscussion had happened while we debated whether to add another case to my docket. I flipped the smug bastard off and headed to the cabin’s front porch. I put thoughts of cute blondes with blue eyes out of my head. My only major case deserved my attention.
“Hey, you made it!” A petite man with wispy dishwater colored hair flung the door open and ushered us in. “Did you find the place okay? Of course you didn’t, you’re not supposed to. Should I give you the grand tour? Do you wanna check it out yourself?”
Dylan Young had the nervous, overly helpful energy of someone who found themselves mixed up in serious shit and was now frantically backpaddling. He’d rented properties under the table to a mysterious buyer who rewarded discretion handsomely, a too good to be true way to earn extra cash that, of course, was too good to be true.
I smiled at the nervous realtor. "We’ll take the grand tour if you don’t mind."
"For you? Of course not. I can’t believe I was mixed up with dangerous criminals. I feel so much safer with you here to protect me.”
Temple rolled his eyes.
Certain rooms on our tour were tasteful and posh and others… The rich goblin who built the place probably figured he’d never leave his bespoke mansion and saw no harm in building a distinctive statue into the house.
The polished bronze body of the goblin statue with a large gut and big shiny head was something of an eyesore, wearing only a necklace stuffed with real gems. But the real masterpiece was the giant golden dong, made of real gold, so big it obviously only existed in the goblin’s imagination.
"Would you believe this place isn’t flying off the market?" Young laughed, eyeing the golden adornment.
“Imagine that. Is this the typical property that interested your contact?”
"No, only once in a blue moon were they looking for backwoods properties with… unique features." Young stopped in front of an ordinary wall with two fairly modest wall sconces. “My best guesses are a panic room or sex dungeon. Here."
The sconce looked bolted firmly to the wall yet twisted on its side with a slight scraping sound. Part of the wall slid away and revealed a hidden door.
"Thanks, this is great.” I smiled and dismissed the realtor. “We’ll let you know if we need anything else."
"Yes, please.” He blinked and cleared his throat. “I mean, please do."
My partner scowled at the scene, causing me to grin. “What’s the problem, Temple? Jealous you aren’t asfoxyas me?”
“Hilarious, wolf boy. How will we ever get any work done if we’re too busy laughing at all your hilarious jokes?”
He wasn’t wrong. I was hilarious and we had better things to do than snipe at each other.
Our targets here were the pretentiously named Supernatural Rarities Brokers. Cloaked loosely in the guise of an auction house, they sold valuable black-market goods of supernatural origin that were often stolen, illegal, or unstable and dangerous. Much of their business also came from sellingpeoplewith supernatural abilities. Potential mates sold off to the highest bidder.
A hidden room like this was a great place to hide anything sensitive while heat died down. And when created by a goblin…
“There’s sigils hidden over here.” Temple tapped a spot on the wall. “Cloaks the room from magical discovery when activated. Your head’s in the game, right?” he asked without skipping a beat.
