It sure did. “Really though?”
"Yes," Temple added from where he inspected a portable vacuum cleaner that had been repurposed as—no, I didn’t want to know.
"This was your hunch," Chase realized.
"Yes, it was only a suspicion.” He sent me an apologetic smile. “There were a few moments where my fox recognized yours but then it was gone and not even a hint of anything supernatural lingered."
Chase nodded. "I smelled fox at the gas station."
This still seemed unbelievable to me, which Temple realized. “There’s no way you could have known. Your car accident likely changed something in you, damaging the magic that conceals your shifter nature. Now the shifter side is struggling to emerge."
“That can lead to strange behavior,” Chase added. “The kind you mentioned earlier.”
What? I didn’t remember telling him about a desire to roam the woods and forage for berries or small rodents, or whatever foxes did.
Chase seemed hesitant to betray my confidence, so Temple jumped in.
"Some people don’t know their own strength anymore. A few find the shifter takes over when they sleep and start waking up in the woods.” Okay, none of that—"Or the shifter side and human side feel so totally disconnected, it’s like they’re two people at once, which leads to paranoia and anxiety from constantly sensing another presence and never feeling alone.” Uh-oh. “Heightened senses can make it worse too, smelling or hearing things that aren’t in the immediate vicinity, which gets translated to hearing voices that aren’t there.”
Oh.
I thought my mind played tricks on me. Moments where I became paranoid and sure I wasn’t alone. Where I heard people whispering when nobody else was there.
All this began after my car accident. Something inside me had been asleep and the accident woke it up. That meant… How many times had I been desperate for an explanation? Something fixable that also saved my sanity. Was this it?
"So, I’m not.” I had to swallow and moisten my dry throat before attempting to speak again. “This means I’m not…"
"You’re not crazy," Chase said.
"Oh, that’s nice."
“Uh, Lucas, where are you going?" Chase wondered.
Oh. I was moving. “Need some air.”
Out the back sliding door, I retreated into the night. My uncle and his son enjoyed grilling and hosting gatherings back here, so navigating in the dark was not a huge challenge. I wasn’t using better night vision, the kind animals have, to see.
I dropped down in a patio chair and stared at my hands.
If I were a fox all this time, wouldn’t I know, or have some inkling? Wouldn’t I have sensed something missing? Or who knows, share an unexplained kinship with foxes? There was nothing. I freaking hated camping. Nothing. No hint.
The sliding door opened. Chase’s boots eventually came into view. He took a seat.
I hadn’t planned on speaking now that I had company but suddenly I was speaking.
“This should be a relief,” I said. “I’m not crazy. It should be something.”
I’m not crazy. I’m really not crazy. Yeah, you’re not crazy. You’re just a fox shifter. Wanna tell me again how you aren’t crazy?
It still sounded a little nuts. Yet I’d seen amazing things. The supernatural world definitely existed. Only me belonging to that world tripped me up.
"It’s like my body is here.” I told Chase. “I’m here in the flesh, but the rest of me is gone. I’m really somewhere else.”
"Like an out of body experience? You’re watching your life from far away?”
"Yeah, maybe. Or none of this is real? If this were really happening, I’d certainly have some feelings about it.” Who feelsnothingwhen their whole life completely flips upside down? “I can’t feel it. I should be, but I can’t feel anything."
"Can you feel this?" Chase grabbed my hand in his own.
