"What, why?” Surely he couldn’t really think he was at fault for being a victim? “Rob, you were a child. Someone was preying on you. That isn’t your fault."
"Yeah, I get that. But that’s not the whole story.” He took a breath, choosing his words carefully. “Lex went out looking for most of his victims. Except for me, he didn’t find me.” He waved his hands with a weak flourish. “I summoned him."
Considering this… it was bullshit.
"Rob, what? No, you didn’t."
"I swear!"
"How? By saying Bloody Mary three times in the mirror?"
"Look, it wasn’t really a formal spell,” he admitted. “But I was desperate, man. I needed…” He shrugged helplessly. “Proof. People found my ‘overactive imagination’ cute when I was small. Then I kept getting older and ‘making things up’ and it got old real fast. Eventually I just shut up about how magic was real and I had powers."
"You had magic as a child?" I wondered.
"Yeah. I swear I could even do shit with it but it’s real fuzzy. I tried harder to pretend, and eventually, the magic started disappearing. I started to wonder if everybody else was right. Maybe I made everything up. It kinda messed with my head. I didn’t know what to believe. So that’s what I was looking for. Proof I wasn’t crazy. I didn’t know I was summoning a demon, I didn’t really knowwhatI was doing at all, but I was definitely trying to dosomething,to get some sign."
Some mages went through a process unique to each of them where they called magic inside themselves and learned to make it part of them. Then they learned to wield it. Othersalwayspossessed some amount of magic and merely needed to acknowledge and learn to control it. I hadn’t known Rob belonged to this second group.
He’d grown up in the ordinary world and apparently hadn’t been discovered and set upon the right path by people Aware of the supernatural world. Instead, the human world assumed his quirks were psychological. He’d been stuck between two worlds and called out to the mystical forces out there, trying to prove to himself that the stories in his head weren’t only make believe. A monster found him instead.
Rob had just enough magic to be dangerous without anyone to guide him. He wanted answers and had no idea about everything out there that might answer his call.
“That still wasn’t your fault,” I said. “Being a child and questioning everything around you, questioning your sanity, it must have been incredibly difficult. Of course you hoped for proof.”
"Yeah, well.” He shrugged bashfully, not used to being met with understanding. “I understand your thing too."
"How can you ever forgive me?” I wondered. “How can you stand to look at me?"
He smiled. "Well, you are gorgeous."
"Rob."
"Say the circumstances were different. What if Tommy were luring demons to steal their power?"
"How, using what magics? Did he even know about the supernatural?"
"Look, that’s not the point. Tommy as the hero of the story or the villain doesn’t change anything for me. If you tell me he’s in trouble, I’d want to help. If you tell me he’scausingtrouble, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt because I love him, he’s my family. Of course you hesitated to hurt your brother. It’d be weirder if you didn’t."
“But my brother doesn’t deserve mercy. I learned that the hard way. I won’t make that mistake again.” Others died because love clouded my judgement. “I can handle it now. He’s a killer and deserves to die. I’ll do whatever is necessary to stop him.”
“Okay, yeah, he’s terrible. So what? None of that makes him not your brother anymore. That’s the bitch of it. Hate has power, it can consume you and fuels you on. But love runs so deep. Once it’s there, it never really quits.”
Rob was quick to embrace and point out his flaws, but I saw him in a new light. It took a tremendous strength to survive everything he had, from questioning the world around him and himself when nothing added up right to seeking some clarity and finding a monster. Of course he went through some dark patches in his life, but he was here with me every step of the way, trying to track down the villain from the most painful part of his past and ending his reign of terror. He was coming out of the darkness and becoming heroic in his own right. I felt humbled to be part of it and undeserving but grateful to watch the transformation too because it was—he was—breathtaking.
"I get it, man,” he said. “You were ashamed and guilty, and you know what? Your fault or my fault or whatever, who the fuck cares? Who cares who started it? Let’s end it together."
~
Rob
I tried to stroll back into the club, not letting my nerves show. Bad Mother waited impatiently, leaning back so far in his seat it was a wonder he didn’t fall over. He righted himself at our arrival, all the while twirling his knife and being casually terrifying.
“Hey, we need to talk to you.”
“Why aren’t we tying him up again?” Bad Mother looked past me, eyes locking on the incubus there. “Don’t tell me he got to you.”
"We need to concentrate on what matters. We all have the same goal.” I stood in front of the incubus protectively, even though he probably towered over me from behind. “None of us want Taryn here."
