He leads me back the way we came from, toward the front door. Now we stand in the entryway, which is marginally better than standing right outside Elias’s office. But still not a private place to sort things out.
I state the obvious. “This doesn’t look like a bedroom.”
“Do you need a ride home?” he asks me while staring down at his shoes.
“What, that’s all?”
“You could always run back home.”
“Isn’t there anything you need to say?” I step closer, forcing him to look at me. He needs to hear me. “Bane, I never rejected you.”
Something on his face changes, but he’s turning his back and moving to open the door for me before I can register what he’s feeling. “I know.”
After today, I thought there were a thousand new things we needed to talk about. Yet maybe it all depends on one question: has anything changed?
“Does this change anything for you?” I force out the words. “Or are you still… You still don’t want me?”
How is this happening? Is my mate rejecting me again?
Ever since I learned he was my mate, I’ve been discovering him and falling for him little by little. Nothing has changed for me. Knowing where his distance and coldness comes from has only made it easier to give into my affections.
But what if it’s too late? Has my mate moved on?
Before the despair can truly consume me, Bane’s moving. “Hey, no. Don’t think that. Josh…” He gently reaches out, touching my cheek. He looks at me so softly, but I don’t like the guilt all over his face. “Can’t believe you’re asking me that question. How canyouwantme?For years, I despised you. Hated you. I thought you were the worst person in the world and made that perfectly clear whenever our paths crossed.”
It seems like he couldn’t help himself when he reached out for me, but then he scowls at himself and pulls away like I burned him—or maybe like he burned me.
“Turns out you aren’t terrible,” he continues bitterly. “I am.”
“What?”
“You did nothing wrong. I’ve been the asshole all this time.” He laughs, though it sounds wrong. “Not very shocking, is it? Not to you. I’ve always been the asshole to you.”
“You were tricked,” I remind, reaching out for him. “Bane, I get it. I really do.” If the roles were reversed, I’d have hated him too. I doubt I would have gotten over it.
“That’s not even the worst part,” he argues before I can keep trying to comfort him. “Then we started sleeping together, and I was still a jackass.”
“You were suspicious. You thought I was trying to seduce you.”
“But you weren’t.” He stops pacing, eyes wide as he sorts through everything from a new perspective. “You were being sweet because you actually liked me, even after I was a dick. And you invited me to spend time with your pack, and I said no.” Bane’s shoulders slump, all his usual bravado and confidence crumbling. “God, you got me a watch—you made it for me—and you just wanted to help, and I, I broke it. Oh my god.”
Bane seems on the verge of panic, so unlike the cocky alpha I once thought I had all figured out. He looks so defeated that it hurts my heart. When I reach out for him this time, he doesn’t back away. He lets me catch him and wrap my arms around his shoulders, collapsing against me and burying his face in my neck like he can’t resist.
I hold him close, wishing I could do more to help him. I don’t know if how he treated me before he knew the truth was wrong or right, but I don’t blame him. I’d have been just as angry and devastated in his shoes.
“I’m sorry, Josh, for everything,” he whispers, sucking in a sharp breath and forcing himself to pull away.
“Bane, will you let me forgive you?” I reach out for his wrist and hold on tightly, afraid he’s going to disappear at any moment.
He stares down at where we’re touching, not seeming to hear me. “What did you ask me? Does this change anything for me? Do I want you? Of course I do.” He looks up, those gold eyes full of pain and longing. “No matter how hard I’ve tried, I don’t think I’veeverstopped wanting you. But I don’t deserve you, not anymore.”
Gently, he untangles us and leaves me in the entryway alone.
~
Bane
Smack. Smack. Smack.
