We nodded again.
“I think that relationship isn’t long for the world anyway, even if Ethan does nothing. But Idothink we should worry about how the girl will react to being dumped by the campus celebrity. That’s what I mean.”
“Sounds like a bridge to cross later,” Josh said. “Right now, Ethan, you need to talk to Grey. Be honest with him. And for God’s sake, tell him you won’t be his sidepiece.”
“I’m worried, though.” I looked at the ceiling to avoid eye contact with my friends. “What if I get hurt?”
“Our boy’s down bad.” Kellan shook his head.
“Ethan, if you get hurt, that means it was something worth going after,” Josh said. “You don’t get anything worthwhile without risking something.”
“And let’s be honest,” Kellan chimed in. “You’ve never risked much with the girls you’ve dated.”
“I believe the term is ‘low hanging fruit,’” Josh said.
Kellan laughed, and I glared at him.
“Not that they’ve been ugly,” Josh said hurriedly. “Just girls have always thrown themselves at you. It’s never been a challenge, and you’ve never had to risk much.”
“You’ll have to risk it with Grey,” Kellan said. “Because I know you, and it’ll drive you crazy if you don’t.”
I barely slept that night,tossing and turning as I anxiously watched the time slide by on my phone. I must have eventually slipped into something resembling sleep because I was still surprised when my alarm went off. Groggily, I got ready for school and left. As I crossed campus, the anxiety returned. I tried to think about what I would say to Grey when I saw him, how I would address me wanting him. I was still unraveling thetangled mess of emotions inside myself.How could I expect him to do anything with what I need to tell him?
With every step closer to the classroom, my heart rate went up.Why am I doing this to myself?I could very easily turn heel and run to the academic advisor’s office and drop this class. That would be the smart thing to do regardless of what my friends thought.
Me charging in and demanding to talk about feelings my with a guy I barely knew and was only now realizing I might have a romantic inclination for—that was stupid as hell by comparison.
Still, I managed to place one foot in front of the other, and soon enough, I found myself in the mostly empty lecture hall. I sat there, knee bobbing as it slowly filled. Finally, everyone, including Professor Young was there… and Grey was absent.
Professor Young went through roll call. Still no Grey.
He began the lecture onBeowulf. Still no Grey.
I looked around the room but couldn’t find Grey. Frustrated, I returned to my notes, my knee still jumping with nerves. The hour ticked by at a sluggish pace. Watching paint dry or waiting for water to boil probably would’ve been more satisfying. But finally, mercifully, the lecture ended.
I collected my stuff, racking my brain to figure out where Grey might be. From what he’d said to me yesterday, I knew he likely frequented the recording studios in the music building. Might as well start there. If he wasn’t going to be in class where I could easily find him, then I would have to go after him.
But before I could get too deep into my plans, Grey appeared at the front of the classroom, talking with Professor Young in a low tone, their heads bowed together. Well, that made things significantly easier on me.
I slowed packing my stuff, trying not to look like I was obviously lingering to watch the conversation. I needn’t have bothered putting in the effort. No one was paying me anyattention, and the discussion didn’t last long. Not five minutes later, Grey shook hands with Professor Young.
When he turned to leave, Grey saw me waiting. Instead of waiting for me to approach, he came to me. “Aw, are you waiting for me?” he teased, his eyes instantly sparkling at the sight of me.
My stomach turned over on itself.Is this what butterflies in your stomach feel like?It felt more like a stomach virus.Fuck it, just tell the truth.“I was.” I rubbed the back of my neck, nervously. “I wanted to… well, if you’re not doing anything, I was wondering if…”
“You wanted to know if I was busy right now?”
I nodded, face hot with embarrassment. Clearly, I lacked a silver tongue.
“As it so happens, I’m free,” Grey said.
“Great!” I winced when it sounded too enthusiastic. “What I mean is, would you want to get some breakfast with me?”
Grey looked at me for a long, ponderous moment. I wondered if he was trying to figure out what my intentions were. Maybe he thought I was asking him out on a date.Oh no.I immediately wanted to backpedal and tell him it was just so we could talk. But then, maybe he would like it if it were a date.Do I want it to be a date? What about Carina?
This whole thing had been a fucking terrible idea.
Thankfully, he didn’t leave me waiting long before freeing me from my spiraling thoughts.
