The sound of the lock turning in the door alerted us to Josh’s arrival. He appeared in the doorway, looking disheveled with his glasses askew. He took one look at Kellan and me in the living room then marched to the fridge for his own beer before tossing his backpack into the corner and joining us.
“Everything good?” I asked.
He’d grabbed two beers for himself, which would be one thing if Kellan had done so, but Josh rarely drank on school nights.
“Just regretting every decision I’ve ever made.” Josh downed his first beer in seconds. He set the empty bottle on the coffee table. “School’s kicking my ass. How about you?”
“Grey and Ethan have decided to be ‘just friends,’” Kellan said before I could muster the words.
“Oh,” Josh said.
It was so small and feeble, I almost felt bad for the guy.
“Pour me a shot, will ya, Kellan?”
Kellan obliged him, and Josh drank the vodka, pulled a face, then chased it with more beer.
“You guys, it’s not that serious,” I insisted.
“Ethan, no offense, but are you stupid?” Josh’s voice was already a bit thick from the alcohol. “There’s no way this ends well.”
“It’s like if you were on a sinking boat and decided to poke more holes in it to stay afloat,” Kellan said.
“How will gettingcloserhelp you get over Grey?”
They looked at me expectantly.
“Guys, I’ve got this” was all I could think to say. “We’re both adults. We can exercise self-control. It’ll be fine.”
Kellan and Josh exchanged worried looks.
“And if it isn’t?” Josh asked.
I hated hearing the concern in his voice. I hated even more that his concern might be warranted.
“Well, then I was already going to lose him.” I took a swig of beer. “I might hurt more in the end, but it’s not like I’ve been okay these past few days either.”
“That’s why we’re worried,” Josh said gently. “Do you want to go through that every time you two call it quits? Isn’t that going to just prolong the pain?”
I was quiet for a long moment. Truth be told, I’d had similar fears all day, but we were assuming the worst would happen. “There’s always the possibility things will work out,” I said softly. I couldn’t keep the frail hope from creeping into my voice.What would “work out” even look like in this situation?
Kellan sighed. “Yes, but how likely is that?”
I shrugged. I wished I could show them what I saw. I knew that I seemed crazy to them at this point, me going on and on about Grey and the ways he’d messed with my head. Surely they had to think I was a masochist. If only there was a way to show them…
I bolted upright. “Kellan, Josh,” I began.
Their looks of alarm would’ve been funny under other circumstances. Right now, they felt a bit condescending. Like they didn’t trust the words that would come out of my mouth.
“What if we all hung out with Grey? Since we’re friends and all, you could see for yourselves that everything is fine.”
A hefty pause followed before either Kellan or Josh dared to speak.
Finally, Josh opened his mouth. “I think that might actually be a good idea.”
“I’ll do it, but you have to promise me one thing,” Kellan said. “If I see any red flags, you’ll either call it off… or you won’t talk to us about Grey again.”
I gulped. That felt like a lot of pressure to put on one encounter.What if I messed it up somehow? Or what if Grey did? Would it be best if I told Grey that Kellan and Josh would essentially be evaluating our new friendship?No, that sounded crazy the moment I thought it.
