Chapter 17
The Hotel
We stood in the doorway, the single queen-size bed ominously filling the center of the room, the air around it heavy with implications. Neither of us wanted to move farther into the room it seemed.
Try as I might, I couldn’t tear my eyes off that damn bed.How easy would it be to just climb in there together? What would happen if we were left in such close quarters in a dark, locked room with no one expecting us to be anywhere for hours and me still pretty drunk?
It was a recipe for disaster.
All thoughts of sleep had been driven from my mind as adrenaline slammed through my veins.
“I can sleep on the floor,” I blurted.
Grey shot me a crazy look. “Don’t be silly. I invited you. That makes you a guest.I’llsleep on the floor.”
“You’re not sleeping on the floor, Grey,” I said.
We looked from the bed to each other and back again.
“Fine,” Grey said. “We’ll share. But I call dibs on the shower first.”
And with that finality, we closed the door behind us. I made my way to the bed, collapsing on top of it. The room wasn’tquite spinning, but I felt in serious danger of it doing so. I really should’ve held back on the drinking. Grey undid his tie and took off his jacket. I watched him more for something to anchor my swirling head than anything else.
“Do you need the bathroom before I go in there?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“Okay, I’ll be quick.”
He opened his suitcase on the table in the corner and pulled out some pajamas and dark-blue underwear. My cheeks went warm at the sight of his undergarments, but thankfully, Grey didn’t notice. He quietly collected his things and went to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. I heard the shower start seconds later.
I lay there on my back, staring up at the ceiling. I was very much aware of the fact that only a few feet away, Grey was naked and wet. Blowing air out through my lips, I ran my hands over my face and tried to push the thought from my mind. But in doing so, I latched onto the memory of tonight. Of Grey holding me as we danced together, his hands on my hips, pulling me into him. Once again, I found myself obsessing over the question that so often haunted me with Grey: Why?
Why did he invite me as his date to the wedding? Why did he dance with me? Why did he always look at me the way that he did?It wasn’t fair.
But it also wasn’t like I wanted him to stop. As much as I protested and tried to lay down lines in the sand, I was just as guilty as Grey when it came to washing those lines away. Like Grey had said in his song. It was pretty clear that we weren’t just friends. And though I knew that had larger implications with Carina and both of our lives—I wasn’t sure I cared anymore.
A laugh bubbled up in my chest as I realized I would be going to see my family in a couple of weeks, and they would be the last to know I was into guys. Well, into Grey. Me being into otherguys was still debatable since I thought of Grey as more of a force of nature than just aguy.
“Guess I’m going to have to come out,” I said under my breath. It might have been the alcohol, but the thought somehow didn’t induce panic, more of a sense of assurance. Because one thing I knew for certain was that Grey wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Whether that was advisable was another discussion. But I knew I couldn’t just let him go.
Fight for him,a voice whispered in my head.He’s right there. He likes you. And besides, you have to use the restroom anyway. I don’t know why you said you didn’t.
It was then that I realized my bladder was, in fact, painfully full. The shower was still running, though, and I didn’t know how much longer Grey would be.
“He said he’d be quick,” I argued with myself.
But I got out of the bed anyway. Each step I took toward the door felt like a nail in my coffin. I knew if I went into that bathroom, there would be no turning back. Still, I placed one stubborn foot in front of the other, drawn as always to the gravity of Grey.
My head spun from more than the alcohol. I felt like I was held hostage in my own body, unable to do anything but watch and scream at myself to stop. To turn back and lie back down in that damn bed. The bed was safe. It was away from Grey.
But my body didn’t listen. I closed the distance to the door and stopped outside of it. I could still hear the shower running on the other side. I raised my knuckles to knock and announce my presence, but they hovered there.
Am I really doing this?
I was about to turn around and head back to safety when my hand rapped on the door as if of its own accord. It was too late to turn back. There was no way Grey hadn’t heard that.
“Yes?” he said from the other side of the door.
