“Perfect.” Grey pecked me on the cheek, leaving my body tense and my face flushed.
I gave a short nod then turned and left, the ghost of his lips lingering on my skin.
The bar was calledScandals and was a decent-sized place with a couple of pool tables in the corners of the room. Quite a few people already occupied tables full of empty drinks. The bar counter itself was relatively empty, so I sat there, saving the vacant seat on my right for Grey, and ordered a beer.
The moment I was alone with my thoughts, my realization from earlier returned to the forefront of my mind. I was in love with Grey. With how things had been going so far, I would’ve expected the moment to be met with a rush of joy and excitement, but the strongest emotions I could parse out were confusion and apprehension. Confusion because I’d never felt that way about anyone before—guy or girl. And though I’d said I loved people in the past, it was nothing compared to what I felt now. That would be like comparing the light from a match to the sun. I was left dazed by the intensity of my feelings. And the intensity was exactly the reason for my apprehension.
What if Grey left when the stakes got higher?The thought of him walking away was enough to leave me winded and shaken. It felt like looking down over the edge of a tall building—the sickening twist of the stomach as my core tightened because Iknew the fall from such a height would leave me a broken mess on the ground. Yeah, I needed to not think about that possibility.
I took a long pull from my drink and instantly felt better.
Should I tell Grey? Should I do some grand gesture to announce my love to him? Shout it from the rooftops? Should I whisper it between passionate kisses for only us to hear? Or should I keep it to myself for a while?He knew I liked him a lot. And I knew he felt that way about me. Maybe the stakes wouldn’t feel quite so high if I kept my feelings quiet. Maybe that was for the best. For now.
Life had been so much simpler when I’d only liked girls. I hadn’t given a shit about any of this then. Frustrated with my emotions, I drained my beer, hoping to quiet my screaming mind with a buzz, and ordered another one.
“Here by yourself?” someone said to my right.
I looked over out of reflex, not expecting the owner of the voice to be talking to me, only to meet the eyes of a startlingly gorgeous stranger.
The man waiting for my response had hazel eyes, perfectly messy brown hair, and the suggestion of a dimple on the right side of his face. He was tall and wearing a see-through mesh shirt that showed muscle definition across his chest and down his arms.
“I—” My voice cracked, so I cleared my throat. “I’m just waiting for my boyfriend.”
If the man was disappointed, he didn’t show it. “Mind if I keep you company? I’m waiting on some friends myself.” He glanced down at the barstool where his hand rested.
I couldn’t think of a reason why he shouldn’t sit with me while I waited. And besides, I could use the company. So I nodded, and he slid into the seat, ordering a vodka soda from the bartender as he got settled.
“I’m Frankie,” the guy said.
“Ethan.”
“Is your boyfriend working the festival?” Frankie asked between sips of his drink.
I nodded. “His band is playing tonight.”
“Oh? Anyone I might know?”
We were far enough away from campus that I seriously doubted he would know of them, but something about that thought felt unkind to Grey and the boys. I shrugged. “They’re called Dreamscape. They’re just starting out.”
“Just starting out but still able to book one of the biggest festivals in town,” Frankie said. “How long have you and your boyfriend been together?”
“A couple of months.”
“So, it’s not that serious yet.” Frankie’s eye held a suggestive glint.
The knuckles of his hand gripping his drink brushed mine in an accidental-unless-you’re-into-it way that made my face grow warm. Ireallywasn’t used to guys giving me attention. Back when I’d assumed I was straight, I’d had fun with girls’ attention, but they never got reactions like this out of me. With girls, I’d always felt in control—like things would never go further than I was prepared for because women just weren’t forceful like that.
With guys showing interest, I felt like I was on edge because I didn’t know the rules or where things would go or what would happen when they got there. The lack of control in that dynamic frightened me… and excited me, if I was being completely honest with myself. Any acknowledgment of interest from a guy felt like surrender to chaos.
Then, as quickly as those thoughts had appeared, they were replaced by frustration.Who is this person to say that my relationship with Grey isn’t serious? What could a stranger possibly know about how I feel about my boyfriend?IlovedGrey for fuck’s sake. I’d never loved anyone before.
I pulled my hand away. “It’s actually pretty serious,” I said stiffly. “We were friends for a while before we started dating.” Like I’d ever been interested in Grey as just a friend. But Frankie didn’t need the whole torrid backstory. I was about ready to tell the man to get lost, when I was saved by a voice behind me.
“There you are!” Grey was at my side in an instant and gave me an excited peck on the cheek. “Sorry it took so long. This guy started talking with us, and apparently, he manages a couple of bands playing today. We still have to play for him, but he said he’s potentially interested in working with us.”
It was only then that he seemed to take in me and Frankie and the way we were clearly mid-conversation.
“Hi, I’m Frankie.” With a friendly grin, he held out a hand. “You must be Ethan’s boyfriend.”
