It’s me again, here with another instalment of all things controversial. Today I want to talk to you about the “One That Got Away’—the dreaded phrase, we’ve all been there, right? You crossed paths and connected with someone on a magical level and now you cling to the idea of that person and what could have been.
You often remember all the scenarios you invented, all with a blissfully happy ending (even if that was not the case). In our mind, we know it’s not healthy to obsess over the “What If’”, but it’s almost impossible to shakethe feeling.
It goes back to the age-old cliché—right person, wrong time. A cliché is a cliché for a reason, despite it being so overused and losing its original meaning, we must remember that primarily it was based on truth. Someone can be your right person at the wrong time, period. Naturally though, there can be an array of different reasons. Maybe it was distance, emotional unavailability, withholding commitments or maybe it actually turned into a significant relationship, but ended for all the innumerable reasons relationships cease to exist.
Now, if you’re still following my train of thought, then you’ve also (more than likely) compared said person to other partners. You’ve probably wondered, on numerous occasions, what it would be like to see them again. Wished for a change in circumstance that would allow the world to spin perfectly on its axis once again, freeing you from the mundane Groundhog Day effect your mind plays on repeat.
However, this is where I open your eyes to reality. There is no “One That Got Away”. That would mean there is only one person on this whole entire planet made for us—similar to my soulmate controversy in my earlier articles. The concept that we are meant for only one person is distressing. That essentially means if you’re not with that “one” person, then you will search your whole life comparing, pining and hoping for them—causing every other relationship to perish in a cloud of smoke.
Have I convinced you yet? No, I thought not. The romanticised version of the “One That Got Away” will always prevail. Our minds won’t allow otherwise until we have explored the possibility. Explore it—go ahead, find out. What’s the harm in that?
But before you do, just think about your current partner. Maybe you’re their “One That DIDN’T Get Away”…
24
December 2017
Ashley
Ashley raced into the bedroom. “Madison, have you seenmy speech?”
“It was on your deskyesterday.”
“I can’t find it.” Frantically searching, she brushed off some old articles; stationery fell to the floor, there was no sign of her speech. “We literally need to leave in five minutes.”
“Where haveyou looked?”
“Everywhere,” Ashley snapped.
“You made some tweaks to it last night, didn’t you? While you were sat on the sofa—check there.”
Ashley raced towards the living room. She launched one cushion after another from the sofa. There it was scrunched in the corner.“Thank God.”
“Got it?” Madison called.
“Yes,thank you.”
“Good.” Madison kissed Ashley on the forehead. “Just breathe. I know you’ve been worrying about this speech, but you’llbe amazing.”
“My heart is racing. I don’t think I have ever had to make a speech.”
“I know, but I believe in you.” They shared anothertender kiss.
“You look amazing, by the way.” Madison grinned.
“Thank you, baby. You’re not so bad yourself.”She winked.
Ashley wore a slim-fit grey suit with white cowboy ankle boots and a white tee; her large wool overcoat sat comfortably on her shoulders to combat the plummeting temperature that now firmly sat in the 30s. The snow had fallen in recent days—just enough to cover the ground—Nancy’s wish had been granted. When asked what her picture-perfect vow renewal would be, she said, ‘a snowy Central Park’.
The thought of seeing Megan triggered a lot of anxiety. The fleeting relationship—if you could call it that—still left a significant impact on Ashley, causing her to accept that she never quite got closure from their affinity with one another. The fear of the unknown caused the nauseous feeling in her stomach. The day was supposed to be all about Nancy and Christopher. A day to celebrate the undying love they shared for one another, but Ashley was distracted with questions.How will Megan act towards me? What should I say? Will she have a plus one? How do we interact as friends in the company ofmy fiancée?
The last one troubled her the most.The first step to conquering a fear is embracing it, she told herself repeatedly. It was time to face the awkward encounter in the hopes that the catastrophic sequence in her head was merely an over-exaggerated scenario she’d concocted in her mind and nothing like what she was about toexperience.
“Have you heard from Nancy this morning?”
“No.”
“Did she confirm Megan was coming?”Had she not told Madison?Ashley questioned herself. Megan had been doubtful to attend the vow renewal due to some personal reasons that Ashley didn’t query further with Nancy, but after a brief conversation the day before Nancy confirmed herattendance.
