“Was he awriter too?”
“Yes.”
“What did he write?”
“Politics and War, he was in the Army growing up so it interested him the most.”
“Is that why you wanted to write?”
“Initially, maybe.”
“What changed?”
“I realised he was a complete asshole and our whole bond in my late teens had been based on a lie.” Ashley clenched her jaw.
“A lie? How so?”
The inner corner of her eyebrows slanted upwards as she inhaled deeply. “He was cheating on my mom for five years. He literally had another family. The woman he was seeing had two kids. He used to go and stay there 2–3 nights a week. He’d tell us he was working on a story. I was so gullible, believing all his lies about these amazing trips he’d been on.” Ashley looked down at her hands, pushing her lips firmly together, obviously uncomfortable discussing the deep-rooted pain she carried. “He’d tell us he was‘following the story’and how that was the most exciting thing about being a freelance writer. The whole time he was staying with his other family.”
“Wow.” Megan chose her next words carefully. “So, you had these dreams of being a writer and following in your dad’s footsteps. Then all that was shattered when you found outthe truth?”
“Pretty much.” Talking about her father always conveyed the same rigid expression. “The dream had always been to move into the city and pursue a writing career because that’s what my dad did. When I finished college I planned my move and literally, a few weeks later, I found out exactly whathe’d done.”
“That must havebeen tough.”
“They’d already been separated for almost a year by that point, but my mom never told us why. She said they’d grown apart, she said she wanted to protect us, but I think she was more bothered about saving face with theneighbours.”
“How did you find out?”
“I saw him at a diner in Long Island. He was with the other woman and her kids. I went home and told my mom. She’s always been a terrible liar, so I could tell straight away it wasn’t a surprise to her.”
Megan listened intently, waiting patiently for her signals to prompt the conversation further. “So, then your mom told youeverything?”
“To an extent. She tried to forgive him, she’d known for six months before they separated properly and he left our home. I’m just thankful I wasn’t young enough to go through custody battles because what followed washorrendous.”
“Where is your dad now?”
“He moved to the west coast with his new family. My sister, Samantha, took his side and moved with him.”
“Seriously? Why?”
“She’s always been a daddy’s girl. She’s a few years younger than me, and she saw the opportunity to be the centre of attention in a new state. She knew Dad would give her anything she wished for if she went with him. I suppose both parents got to keep a daughter. They truly got half of everything in the divorce settlement.” Ashleywas cynical.
“And that’s why you don’t speak to your sister anymore?”
“Exactly. My mom didn’t deserve to be treated that way. How her own daughter can abandon her like that, it didn’t sit well with me.” The cart was on its second trip around the wheel. The movement not causing so much as aflinch now.
“Have you spoken to your father since?”
“Only on holidays. He sends a present or a text every now and again, butthat’s it.”
“Do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive him?” A loaded question.
“I have forgiven him for what he did, he wasn’t happy, but he stayed with my mom for years because he didn’t have the guts to break our family apart, I suppose there is something admirable in that, weirdly, in some way.” Ashley smiled shyly, conscious of her ramblings.
“But?”
Opening up to Megan was easier than she anticipated. “I haven’t forgiven him for making me a part of his lies. That still hurts.”
