There was a mutual understanding between the pair. They both knew what it felt like to want something you couldn’t have, to say no to desires so strong they would make most people crumble under the pressure. At that moment, their similarities and morals were found to be the same. Neither of them had to speak to confirm their feelings for each other, they already knew with a glance. They could see it in the other’s eyes without saying a word. What they could have been or what they might one day be remained unspoken. Megan felt joy in knowing Ashley. Their connection proved more undeniable every time they crossed paths, but underneath the joy lay a niggling disappointment that she felt from time to time. She would push those feelings aside in order to be a good friend—she hoped she could at least fulfil that role withoutcompromise.
They spoke until the sun had long disappeared behind the skyscrapers in the distance. They didn’t once shy away from conversation, openly and freely they spoke about their childhoods, their high school dramas, coming out stories, first loves and finally their dreams and aspirations for the future. It became a whistle-stop tour of their lives. The more Ashley spoke, the more Megan wanted to reveal details about herself. She wanted her to know who she really was with no facade.
The initial flirtation was present, but the silent knowledge that they could be no more than friends remained strong. The air was calm. Being thirty floors above street level took away the noise of a busy New York night. The evening drew to a close at ten; the bar had cleared out almost completely, leaving a young couple in the corner who were not schooled on PDA etiquette, and then Ashley and Megan, who found the whole display as amusing as the bartender.
The luxurious setting and the panoramic views overwhelmed Megan’s senses at every turn—it was a night she’d never forget. After a moment of soaking in the surroundings and enjoying the peaceful starry refuge, they finished their fifth cocktail and made their way towards the elevator.
“Did we really just spend $200 on cocktails?” Ashley’s eyes widened.
“Yes, we did.”
Megan covered her mouth partially with one hand as if to keep the next part a secret, “I think we justgot robbed.”
“How about next time we goto Nancy’s?”
“Agreed,” Megan said. Her body swayed as she entered the elevator.
“Areyou drunk?”
“I think so,” she gestured with her index finger and thumb, “maybe just alittle bit.”
“Scandalous,” Ashley teased. She laughed and slipped her arm casually around her shoulder.
“How are you not? They were strong drinks.”
“I work in a bar remember, you getused to it.”
“Kind of like working in a gas station, you get used to the smell of fuel.”
“Something like that,” Ashley laughed. “How are you getting home?”
“I was going to walk. I realise now that’s a bad idea. I’ll call an Uber.”
“Let me do that for you.” Ashley reached for her phone and searched for the nearest available driver. Within seconds, the car was available. “It’ll be five minutes.”
“Thank you. I had a great time tonight, Ash.”
“Is that the drink talking?”
“No, I mean it. It’s always goodto see you.”
“It’s always a pleasure, don’t be a stranger, okay?”
Megan smiled. The last thing she wanted was to bea stranger.
“Ditto.”
She pulled Ashley in for a hug, arms clasping tight around her neck. There was a brief second where neither said a word. Megan buried her head into Ashley’s neck, breathing in the sweet scent of her perfume. They remained that way for longer than friends should. As she pulled away, she kissed her neck softly, intimately, the sombre goodbye ever-present in her mood. Next, she said what felt natural.
“I am so proud of you.”
“You are?”
Ashley squinted; her chocolate-brown eyes were glistening in the moonlight. It was time to go and yet every atom in her body was telling her to stay. That was the law of attraction at work. She had nothing but positive thoughts and feelings about Ashley. Now, they came back to haunt her, to watch her squirm in situations that were almost impossibleto navigate.
“More than you know,” she said sincerely. “Let me know when they offer you the job.”
“Shh, don’t jinx it.”
