“Wouldn’t youmiss Tokyo?”
She shrugged. “It was never supposed to be a permanent thing. I had this idea after university that I wanted to travel the world and experience different cultures whilst I was young. I thought I’d spend a couple of years here, then maybe move on to Thailand, then Brazil; I never expected to be here eight years later.”
“You met the love of your life; that changes things.”
“I did. And now we’re having a baby.” Her eyes widened.
I got up from my seated position and wrapped my arms around her torso, squeezing tightly around her chest because that’s where I comfortably come up against herlanky frame.
“I would absolutely love it if you moved back home. You could all live with me until you find your feet. I’ll babysit whenever you need. I’ll be that supportive best friend that rubs your feet and buys you maternity pants and nursing bras because you’re too embarrassed. You don’t have to pay me a penny, and you can stay as long as you need.” I muffled into the back of her soft black T-shirt.
“I know you would do all of those things, and that’s why I love you.” She turned towards me, pulling me in for a hug. “Nothing is off the table. We have a lot to figure out over these nextfew months.”
I rested my head against her shoulder for a moment. The strands of her curly hair tickled my neck. The familiar smell of expensive perfume mixed with the strong scent of a shea butter body lotion she’d used since university filled my nostrils with a sense of belonging. My best friend was having achild—crazy.
“Enough about me. I’ve got a bottle of merlot chilling inthe fridge.”
I eyed her suspiciously.
“It’s alcohol free of course.” She threw her arms up in the air. “Just another thing a baby takes away. Apparently, I can’t eat raw fish, coffee isn’t great, and alcohol is frowned upon. How am I supposed to avoid raw fish in Japan? It’s literally the sushi capital of the world.” She sulked. “And Ireallylove sushi.”
“It’s only nine months,” I clarified. “Technically seven now. I’m sure you can survive.”
*
The TV was playingAttack on Titanin the background. It was the one thing I’d never been able to connect with when it came to Japanese culture. Ren loved anime, so Beth had grown to enjoy it too. The non-alcoholic wine gave the illusion that I was drinking, but without the side-effects; I liked that. I opened the packet of Calbee crisps; that was a bad idea. I watched Beth judge me silently, so what if I liked crisps and wine together. Wasthat so odd?
“Don’t you want me to make you something to eat?” Beth asked for thethird time.
“Nope... I’m happy with these,” I said through a mouthful of crunchy goodness.
When you fly for twelve hours through the night and are terrible at sleeping on a plane there is nothing else to do but eat to pass the time. My stomach was full to the brim with smoked salmon, potato gratin, slow cooked beef, and goat’s cheese with chutney. The four-course meal was only bettered by the crisps I was currently eating. It was 7 p.m. Japanese time, which meant it was 11 a.m. in London, but my body felt like it was 3 a.m. and I’d stayed up four nights straight with someone smashing two tambourines against my head.
“How are you feeling being here?”Beth asked.
“Great. I always love coming to see you.” I washed the crisps down with somemore “wine”.
Beth cringed.
“I don’t mean that. I mean being in close proximity to you know who.”
Oh, that.
I’d almost forgotten about Brooke for a split second.
Almost.
I shrugged.“Erm...”
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about her an unhealthy amount since stepping off the plane. I scanned the airport crowd and the cars we passed on the expressway wondering if she was close by.
Was that normal? I wasn’t sure anymore.
My fear in coming to Tokyo was I might take ten steps back. My mind would be consumed with thoughts of her again, not that the thoughts ever went away, but in recent months I’d managed to keep them at bay. I feared the walls I’d put up would crumble around me as soon as my feet landed on Japanese soil.
That wasnotwhat was happening. I had everything under control.
“I feel okay about it. I’m a little anxious, but I’ll be fine.” The heart palpitations and dizziness disagreed.
