The patrons look up, stunned, as Mavis starts yelling at the top of her lungs. “That’s the one! Call the police! One of you young people, call the police.”
Brock curses as the elderly women point at him and chant, “Thief! Thief!” He tries to move around them to the door.
“Stop him!” Rainbow yells dramatically. “Someone stop that thief!”
“I didn’t steal anything, you old bat,” Brock rails while the elderly women crowd around him.
Jenna’s ex is hopping around after taking a walker to the ankle when he sees us.
Brock sees Faulkner first, looks confused, then sees me.
I give him a toothy smile. “Going somewhere?”
“He stole my Social Security number and took my Social Security check!” Crocus says, pointing a bony finger.
“I would never. This is slander!” Brock thunders.
Rainbow whacks him with her cane, making him yelp.
“I have proof!” Granny Mavis waves paperwork around. “Where are the police?”
A couple of confused detectives, pre-called for a meeting by someone claiming to be a witness in the recent rash of painting green stripes on dogs, wander in, badges around their necks.
“Bad boys.” Rainbow bats her enormous woven bag around Brock’s and the videographers’ heads.
“Ow! What’s in there?”
“Turnips.”
“Detectives,” I say, greeting them. “I believe that this man has stolen the identities of these dear, sweet, elderly women.”
“This is the proof you were showing, right?” Faulkner asks Granny Mavis politely, holding out bank statements, transaction records, and credit card statements that have mysteriously materialized.
“Yes, that’s it. You see?”
“I don’t even know you,” Brock sputters.
“He used to date my great-granddaughter.” Mavis clacks her false teeth together. “And he stole her identity too. Took out a bunch of loans in her name.”
“I believe you said she’s tried to make a police report about it before, but the police didn’t follow up?” I prod Granny Mavis.
“That right there, what he said.”
“We will certainly dig into that,” the older detective says, scribbling on her pad.
“You three, come with me.”
“The penalty for financial transgressions over five thousand dollars is ten years,” Faulkner says, reminding everyone.
The two videographers begin to freak out. “We didn’t do it. We had no part in it!”
“Yeah, Brock was stealing Jenna’s identity, and we can testify that we saw him.” Vinnie jams his hat on his head.
“Plea bargain! I’ll tell you everything I know!”
The detectives handcuff them.
Back out on the street, Faulkner hands Granny Mavis a manila envelope stuffed with cash. “Pleasure doing business with you.”
